


Hey Bartender

by NatashaCole



Category: Louden Swain RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Cheating, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Eventual Smut, F/M, Smut, Swearing, gratuitous flirting, slight AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-01-17 10:34:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 80,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12363816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatashaCole/pseuds/NatashaCole
Summary: Reader is a bartender at a club that Rob’s band frequently plays at. She knows better than to get too personal with customers in this line of work, but can she resist a hot musician who might be looking for a fling?





	1. Bartenders, etc...

**Author's Note:**

> This one is a little different for me. Slight AU. Louden Swain exists, but Rob isn’t an actor. Also, other actors we’re familiar with are placed in new roles for the fic.  
> Briana is a bartender, Matt is a bouncer, Kim is a bar owner... others will be added in future chapters.

“Slow night?” You asked Briana as you stepped behind the bar, tossing your purse next to the cash register. You grabbed your apron and secured it around your waist as Briana maneuvered around you, preparing drinks for some customers.

“For now,” she replied, “You’ve got the late shift, so you’re the one closing with the band.”

You rolled your eyes, groaning at the thought of it. “It’s always me,” you said with a laugh.

“Hey, it’s the same band that played here last month; the ones that you said tipped really well.”

“Oh yeah, they were good. They stayed way too late, got way too drunk, but I did get a good tip out of it.”

“Nothing like working on performance nights,” she chuckled.

“Hey, that’s when I do my best work,” you said as you helped her prepare drinks, “you at least staying through the rush?”

“Of course.”

You and Briana rushed about behind the bar; taking orders, making drinks, and most importantly; sweet talking your way into more tips. It wasn’t an easy job when bands like this played; most of the patrons that made up these crowds were women, and although they could drink, it was a lot harder to flirt your way to bigger tips. The only saving grace of the night were the guys with the band who kept coming back for more.

You recognized the guys on stage from the show they had done last month. Briana had been right, it was the same band that you had the pleasure of waiting around for last time. Far past closing, they had kept going and you decided against kicking them out until it was absolutely necessary. Surprisingly, although they had all been pretty wasted by the end of the night, they were still pretty well behaved.

This had been a long week though, and you only hoped that tonight wouldn’t be a repeat of the last encounter you had with them. Even as a bartender, the last thing you wanted to do was babysit a bunch of drunk men again. However, you knew you wouldn’t complain if they tipped you as well as they had the last time they played here. You could handle a couple hours of being hit on by sloppy drunks if it meant you could make your rent.

As you delivered a drink to a customer, you caught sight of a man at the other end of the bar flagging you down. You quickly took the money on the counter before you made your way to him.

“What’ll it be?” you asked.

“Jameson, on the rocks.”

“You got it,” you grabbed the bottle of Jameson, focused on preparing the drink when the man called out to you again.

“Hey, you look familiar,” he said.

“Doubtful,” you laughed, “unless you frequent this bar.”

“I was here last month,” he continued, “I’m with the band.”

“Oh, a groupie?” You joked as you placed his drink in front of him. He pulled out his wallet, paying you.

“Hardly,” he chuckled, “no, I was here watching them and I think you were working.”

“I’m always working.”

“Yeah, you closed that night. Let us all stay late.”

“Well, we all make mistakes.”

“My name is Jason,” he said, reaching his hand out to you. You took it, giving him a firm handshake.

“Nice to formally meet you Jason,” you said. You turned your attention from him, taking another order from someone sitting next to him. When you finished their drinks, he got your attention again.

“You didn’t tell me your name.”

“You are correct.”

“Should I be offended?”

You chuckled at him, “don’t be offended, I never give out my name, not at work anyway. You can call me Lola though.”

“Okay, Lola,” he grinned at you, letting the name roll off his tongue slowly. You could tell that he knew damn well that it wasn’t your real name, “do we have the pleasure of you bartending all night again?”

“All night long,” you replied, shooting him a wink. He smiled again, placing a few more bills on the bar which you gladly took and placed in the tip jar.

“Well, I’m gonna head over to the stage to watch my friends play,” he said.

“Okay,” you replied, “you do that.”

“You like them?”

“Yeah, they’re really good. Like you said, they played last month. I was here, I remember.”

“Okay, I’ll see you around… Lola,” Jason took his drink and headed away from the bar. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. It was easy to innocently flirt with guys for more tips, especially ones associated with the bands that played here.

* * *

You continued to work, only getting the chance to occasionally glance up and actually pay attention to the band. You recognized some of the songs they played, recalling how you only got to listen to them last time. You hardly watched them as you were so busy behind the bar most of the night. Thankfully, this crowd seemed to be a bit more mellow this time, giving you small breaks in between orders so that you could watch sometimes. You weren’t terribly familiar with them; after all, you had only heard them play once before. But you found yourself dancing a bit and humming along to familiar songs as they played.

“Hey, who are these guys?” you called out to Briana when you realized you didn’t even know the name of the band playing right now.

“Louden Swain,” she replied, “they’re local and have a pretty decent following.”

“I can tell, this place is pretty packed tonight.”

“Yeah, and I’m off in 15,” she said with a grin, “good luck with closing.”

You frowned, tossing a bar towel at her. She only laughed and continued to work.

You were in the middle of making more drinks when there was a pause in between songs. You could finally hear yourself think, but not before the singer of the band introduced his friend onto the stage.

“Our friend Jason is going to sing a song with us,” the man explained. You looked up toward the stage at the mention of the familiar name. Sure enough, the man who had talked to you earlier bounded up. The band went right into the next song and you smiled when you heard both of the men’s voices carry through the bar as they went into an old Beatles song. You quickly delivered the drinks you had been working on, hoping you’d have a chance to listen better. When you saw that everyone was taken care of, you leaned back against the bar, watching the men on stage. You couldn’t see too well from where you were, but you took a moment to enjoy the music. Sure, you had caught yourself dancing and humming along as they played, but this was the first chance you got to really listen. You had to admit, you really liked what you heard.

* * *

As the night came to an end; Briana had left long ago and the band finished up their set. Fans stuck around for a bit and you watched as they stopped the guys for selfies and autographs; impressed at how polite they were with their fans. Eventually, the crowd had trickled out, leaving a few strays behind as well as the band. The four men that had played on stage sat at the bar, along with Jason.

“Are we still drinking?” you asked as you approached them.

“Of course we are,” replied Jason.

The men ordered a round of beers and you delivered. You stepped back once they had their drinks, now working on cleaning up since the place had slowed down a bit. You listened as the men chatted, enjoying their drinks and recalling the show they had just played. You went about your business, letting them take their time. You only hoped that if they kept you here any longer, they’d tip you well again. At least they were mellow dudes. You had a bouncer here, but they certainly weren’t the type of guys to get out of hand. They mostly just talked and laughed, leaving you be as you prepared to close up for the night.

“Hey… bartender,” you heard a familiar voice call out to you. You smiled as you turned toward Jason.

“Well, that was rude,” you joked, “I do have a name.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t tell me your real one,” he replied.

“What can I do for you?”

“I was just telling the guys that you were working the last time they played here, just wanted you to turn around so they could see your face.”

“Well, here it is,” you said, “and, did you sing the last time they played?”

“I did not,” Jason answered, “I only do it every once in awhile.”

“Well, you were all really great tonight. I didn’t get a chance to pay attention last time, but I was impressed.”

“Hey, I do recognize you,” another man chimed in, “I’m Billy.”

“Yeah, yeah,” added another, “my favorite bartender, you took care of us last time. How could I forget?”

“Thank you, I take my job very seriously.”

“I’m Stephen,” the man said. He pointed at the man sitting next to him, “this is Mike, and that’s Rob.” He pointed over to the man sitting at the end of the line. You nodded as you were introduced to each one; eyes stopping on the man named Rob that you recognized as the singer. You hadn’t paid much attention to any of them really, that wasn’t how you usually behaved at work. Bands came and went often through here; as did most men. You couldn’t help but think about how cute these guys were in general; but Rob had been the one to get a second glance from you even though he hadn’t even said a word to you.

“Wow, I just met the band. Nice change from last time,” you said.

“Were we rude last time?” The man named Mike asked.

“Not at all,” you said as you recalled that night, “you were all just shit-faced and the whole night was mostly me trying to get you out of here while I dodged really bad pick-up lines. I’m surprised any of you think you recognized me.”

“I must have been shit-faced, because I’d remember your face anywhere.” You turned toward Rob who had finally spoken up. Your breath caught slightly as you noticed those blue eyes. The man gave you a sly smile, obviously trying his hand at attempting to flirt with the bartender again.

“You especially were a drunken mess,” you replied to him.

“You were here with your ex,” Stephen reminded him, “you didn’t pay attention to anyone.”

You watched as Rob frowned as his friend brought it up.

“Well, you guys seem to be in pretty decent shape tonight,” you said, trying to ease the awkward moment that almost took over at the mention of someone’s ex, “so I won’t cut you off just yet.”

“Then I guess we better have another round,” Jason said.

“And shots,” Billy added.

“Sure,” you said as you grabbed five more beers for the men. You began to place shot glasses on the counter, Billy watching you intently as you counted out five glasses, waiting now to see what they wanted.

“Let’s have whiskey, your choice” Billy said finally, “and we need one more glass.”

“There are five of you,” you pointed out.

“And one of you,” he said, smiling.

“Alright,” you placed another glass down, not one to turn down a free drink, “I can drink with the band.”

You poured the shots, taking one as you waited for each man to grab a glass. When you were all ready, you downed your shots at the same time. You grinned as they each chased their whiskey, turning away from them to go about your business again.

“Bartender,” one of the men said. You turned back, sort of unamused that they they were still calling you by your profession rather than your fake name.

“Again, very rude.”

“Well, you didn’t give us a name during introductions,” Rob said.

“Call me Lola,” you replied.

“That’s not your name,” he smirked at you, “I know that’s not your name. That’s a fake name that women give out to creeps in bars.”

“Well, can you blame me?” You said, motioning around you to indicate that you were, in fact, in a bar.

“No, I don’t. I bet you meet a lot of creeps working here,” Rob bit his lip, studying you as if he were trying to figure you out. You caught on to the way he looked you up and down briefly, lip still caught between his teeth.

“They’re not all creeps,” you replied as you leaned in closer to him, elbows now resting on the counter as you met his stare. You couldn’t be sure, but it seemed as if he might be hitting on you given the way he bit his lip as he watched you. If nothing else, you could at least encourage him to drink more and tip more if you made yourself look interested.

“I bet you’d tell the non-creeps your real name,” he said, watching your reaction. It was definitely a test, either you let him know he wasn’t creepy and tell him your real name, or you refuse to offer up your name and convince him that you definitely thought he was a creep; which you really didn’t want to do. He didn’t seem like a creep, none of these guys did. But past experiences with customers made you think carefully about your response.

“Well, then she thinks I’m a creep too,” Jason added, taking a long drink of his beer. You laughed lightly at him.

“Even people that have been frequenting this bar since the day I started working here don’t get my real name. It’s a personal safety thing… you understand, right?”

“No, I get it,” Rob said, “I could be a creep… I’m not, but I could be. I’m not calling you Lola though…”

“Okay,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, now you sound like a creep,” Stephen said to Rob. The other men laughed, leaving Rob looking unamused by the comment.

You pushed yourself off the bar and turned from them again, getting back to cleaning up and allowing them to enjoy their drinks alone.

When the men had their fill, they started to leave; being sure to pay the bill and leaving you a pretty decent tip. You smiled at them, thanking them and feeling a lot better now that they were leaving fairly early and not forcing you to stay too late.

“Thanks guys,” you called after them as they headed for the exit, “have a good night.”

“Goodnight bartender,” Rob called out to you. Obviously he still wasn’t buying the name you had given him, but you shook your head at how silly it was that he was calling you bartender still, “until the next show.”

“Bye,” you replied, waving him off. You watched as they walked out, eyes mostly following Rob as he glanced back at you with that amazing smile. When they were finally gone, you finished up with closing. For some reason, you couldn’t get the man named Rob out of your head. Maybe it had been that smile, or those blue eyes that stared into you, or perhaps it was simply that you sort of had a thing for musicians; whatever it was, you didn’t stop thinking about him even as your security for the night, Matt, walked you to your car.

“They didn’t give you too much trouble tonight, did they?” He asked as you dug for your car keys.

“Nah,” you answered. You finally found your keys, pulling them out of your purse and unlocking your car, “they seem like pretty mellow guys. They weren’t even that bad last time they played here.”

“Yeah, they didn’t seem like they’d be trouble. I was just worried that they started paying you a little too much attention.”

“Well,” you laughed, “it comes with the territory. But they were very polite and, hey, I didn’t get groped.”

“That’s always a good night,” he added with a laugh, “saves me from working too hard.”

“Thanks for walking me out and I’ll see you tomorrow?” You said as you opened your door.

“I’ll be here,” Matt replied, “Have a good night, Y/N.”


	2. A Guy Walks Into a Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few of the same guys show up a couple of weeks later. Rob turns his attention to the Reader; and while she may be feeling a bit interested, she’s not giving in that easily.

A couple of weeks later, you were back to work with Briana at your side. Briana was your favorite co-worker, mostly because she was also your best friend and the two of you made a pretty good team behind the bar. Kim, the owner, often told you that the two of you were her favorites. You both worked well together and got shit done whereas most of the other bartenders were slow and incompetent. You and Bri also brought in the most customers. You had your usuals of course; the same men every week who would come in to drink and engage in small talk. You knew that they probably also liked to look at the two of you, which came along with the job. Most of the guys knew what the boundaries were though. They knew you’d flirt, wear revealing clothing, and talk to them just to get a nice tip out of them. You also knew that all of that worked well.

On this particular night, the bar began to pick up later on, customers trickling in and filling up the seats. You and Briana kept busy preparing drinks, talking, and laughing with each other. You glanced up at one point, watching the door as more customers entered the bar when you noticed a few of the guys from two weeks ago that had been in that band that played. You took a second look, trying to decide of you really did recognize them. Sure enough, you remembered seeing their faces before. Your eyes fell on the shorter man out of the three. You’d recall that smile anywhere. Too bad you had forgotten their names, you were sure you’d make some money off of them if you had remembered.

“Hey, Bri,” you shouted, “these guys playing here again?” It might do you some good to actually pay attention to the band schedule here, but you knew you could count on Bri for that information.

Briana looked toward the men who were now walking toward the bar.

“Nope, no one’s scheduled to play tonight. It’s only three of them, must be here to drink.”

The three men found a few open bar-stools where they each sat down, still chatting among each other as you approached them.

The handsome, blue-eyed man looked up at you after a moment, “Hey! Bartender!” he exclaimed with a smile. The other two men said hi, obviously recognizing you as well.

“Oh wow, you remembered my name,” you joked. You found yourself leaning against the bar toward the blue-eyed man, suddenly very aware of just how good-looking he was.

“I’d remember it if you actually gave it to me,” he replied.

“Don’t feel too bad, I don’t remember your name either,” you gave him a wink before moving away from the bar, “what are we having?”

The men ordered a round of drinks which you quickly got for them.

“My name is Rob,” the blue-eyed man said as you took his money, “that’s Jason, that’s Stephen.” He pointed each man out and you did something you usually didn’t do for men at this bar. You studied each of their faces, saying their names out loud as you did so, trying to keep a memory of each one so that you wouldn’t forget again.

“Okay, I’ll remember that,” you said, “but only of you’re considering being regulars. If you just show up once a month, I’ll never remember.”

“We could be regulars,” Jason said, “it’s a nice place, and some of us think that it has the best bartenders.”

“We like to play here,” Stephen added, “I imagine we would like to drink here too.”

“Well, you could get the same drinks a lot cheaper at a liquor store,” you said, “but you would never get such amazing service.”

“I think the service is something that could keep us coming back,” Rob replied.

You looked at him, grinning at his little flirtation, “Great, because I am very good to my regulars.”

You maintained eye contact briefly before moving on to other customers who were ready to order.

You and Bri were slightly busy tonight, and while you wanted to make small-talk with these guys for some reason, you didn’t have much of a chance now. You and Bri moved behind the bar, doing your usual thing as you mixed drinks and retrieved beer for everyone. You only stopped to look up toward the men that had come to see you. Truthfully, your eyes always shifted to Rob and you caught yourself each time, wondering why you couldn’t stop looking at him.

“Hey,” Briana said as you worked on an order, “that guy from the band has not stopped watching you since he walked in.” She bit her lip, nodding toward him as if to draw your attention that way.

“Yeah, I was beginning to think they were just here to check out the goods,” you laughed.

“Well, go give him the goods,” Briana replied, elbowing you lightly.

“Okay, first of all; he’s a customer. Secondly; I have a boyfriend.”

“Hey, I didn’t say to sleep with him,” she defended herself, “I’m only saying that he likes what he sees and that means you’re getting paid tonight if you flirt a little.”

“Yeah, I know that. But we’ve got a pretty full bar. It’s not the night to focus on one group of guys that may or may not even tip.”

“He’s cute,” she said, ignoring your statement. You followed her eyes over to the three men, again letting your focus fall on Rob. She was right at least, he really was cute.

“Yeah,” you replied, “but I sort of gathered that he is recently single. That’s never a good thing when you’re trying to flirt for tips, especially when they get drunk.”

“Whatever,” Briana shrugged, “I’m just saying, if you don’t move in on that, I might.”

“Go for it,” you laughed.

* * *

The night went on, and hours later you still had the three guys sitting at the bar along with a handful of other customers. You stood aside, talking with Matt while Briana continued to work, now chatting with the guys who had been sitting there for hours. You couldn’t tell what they were talking about, but they were all laughing and having a good time at least.

You helped a few strays here and there as they stumbled into the bar, but for the most part, the night had wound down and the place was pretty dead. You figured you’d check with Bri to see if it was okay if you went home early. You walked up to her, feeling sort of bad for interrupting her conversation with the guys.

“Hey, Bri,” you said, “I’m gonna cut out early if that’s okay.”

“Oh yeah, sure,” she replied, “I’ve got it.”

“You’re leaving?” Rob asked suddenly as you moved to get your belongings.

“Yeah, I worked all night and I’m ready to go home.”

“We were just talking about you,” Jason added. You took note how he seemed to only be slightly tipsy. In fact, all three of them seemed to be in pretty good shape given the fact that they had been here for hours. You recalled how you had only served them a few rounds all night and you were impressed that they had managed to not get wasted like they had been the first time you had to wait on them.

You cocked your head at him, interested now. “All good I hope.”

“They were asking for your name,” Briana said as she eyed you slyly.

“I’m sure they were. And what did you tell them?”

“I told them that you were my girl, Lola.” You and Briana smirked at each other.

“I’m still not buying it,” Rob said, eyes now focused on you.

“You don’t have to buy it,” Briana smiled, “you’ve just got to keep coming back until she’s ready to give it up.”

“Stop it,” you said as you shoved her playfully.

“You know, you should stay,” Bri said, “I mean, clock out, but stay and hang out.”

“Come on bartender,” Rob added, “I’ll buy you a drink.”

You looked at Rob hesitantly, intrigued at the idea of having a drink with the man and his friends. They seemed like nice enough guys, and god knows you didn’t come across too many of those in this line of work. Hell, you didn’t even know what a nice guy was like in your own relationship. You considered how bad it might look, having a drink with three strange me when you were in a relationship. Not that anyone here knew you for real. No one here except for bar staff even knew your name. You studied Rob, still taken aback by those blue eyes and still very much staring at that smile.

“Yeah, come on bartender,” Briana smirked as she retrieved your drink of choice, setting it at the bar next to where Rob was sitting.

You rolled your eyes at her as you walked away, only moving to the other side of the bar to clock out before walking around to take the seat next to Rob. You joined him, immediately taking a long drink of your beer. You were suddenly very aware of how strange it felt to be sitting on the other side and you smiled awkwardly at Briana who had put you in this position.

Very suddenly, you felt as if you had forgotten how to behave. Once you were out from behind that bar, your second persona always shut off since you were usually headed home. This was strange to be hanging out at work now as a customer. For once, you didn’t know what to say now that Rob was watching you; not as his bartender, but as another patron just enjoying a drink. The man didn’t say anything either and you assumed it was because he was in a similar position. You regretted your decision now; knowing that you could possibly be destroying this image that these guys had of you, which was not a good idea considering that your job depended on regulars who only came to chat with their favorite flirty bartender.

You noticed that Briana had caught the attention of Jason and Stephen, engaging them in a nice long conversation, purposely leaving you and Rob out of it. You shook your head when you realized what she was trying to do. If there was anyone else who sort of disliked your boyfriend more than you did, it was her. You knew damn well she was working toward getting you to hook up with this guy, because she was constantly doing this anyway.

Rob awkwardly began to pick at the bowl of nuts that sat in the front of the two of you, causing you to cringe. You grabbed it from him, moving it to the other side of you.

”Don’t eat those. That’s disgusting.”

“Why?” He asked, looking sort of surprised that you had just taken his snack away from him.

“Do you realize how many people stick their hands in there?”

“Then why do you even put them out?”

“It’s a bar,” you replied, “that’s just what we do. You’re not supposed to actually eat them.”

Rob laughed, turning his body slightly so that he could talk to you.

“You’re really not going to give me a name? Even though you’re practically just a regular customer now.”

“No,” you stated simply.

“Okay, bartender.”

“I gave you a name to use.”

“Yeah, and it’s a ridiculous name.”

“What about you?” you asked, changing the subject, “Your real name is Rob or is that your band persona?’

“I don’t use a fake name.”

“Shame, could be fun… the two of us trying to figure each other out.”

“What do you do?” He asked.

“What?”

“I’m trying to figure you out, what do you do?”

“I’m a bartender,” you reminded him.

“I know that. But, I mean, what else do you do? You have a day job or something?”

“I’m an accountant,” you teased.

Rob gave you a half-smile and you noticed the way lines formed at the corners of his eyes as he did so.

“No, you’re not,” he replied matter-of-factually. You may have been pretty good at your job, and even better at leading men into believing in your lies, but for some reason, this guy was not easily fooled.

“Do you have a day job?” you asked.

“I’m in a band.”

“I get that, but that can’t be all you do.”

“It is though. It’s my job,” he replied, “see, I’m answering your questions very honestly, but I don’t feel like you’re doing the same for me.”

“What do you want to know? Besides my name.”

“I’m thinking you’re pulling my leg about the whole accountant thing.”

You shrugged, letting him know that you weren’t caving so easily.

“So, you got a boyfriend?”

“Wow, you’re really bold tonight Rob.”

“It’s just small talk.”

You held your left hand up to him, “I’m not married, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“That’s not what I was asking.”

“Okay,” you said, purposefully avoiding his question. You knew better than to damage the image that these men might have of you of being single. They came in expecting their bartender to be cute and available, even if they didn’t have a chance. “And you… you are newly single,” you pointed out.

“How did you know?”

“The last time you guys played here, somebody said you had come in with your ex.”

“You remembered that but you didn’t bother to remember my name?”

“I remember things that are important to me.”

“So me being single is important to you?” He plastered a smile on his face at this. Your eyes darted to his lips involuntarily. It was then that you noticed the gray patch on his beard, just below his lip. It something that you probably wouldn’t have noticed about the man if you hadn’t been slightly interested in him. You never took it upon yourself to notice small details about your customers; they were here to buy drinks and you were here to keep them coming. It unnerved you when you realized that you were focusing on these details about Rob.

“It’s easier to sweet talk single men into buying more drinks.”

“Speaking of, you ready for another?”

You looked at your almost empty beer bottle, smiling at Rob who was already asking Bri for another round. You knew you should go home, but you found that you were having a good time talking to Rob, even if you were mostly teasing him at this point. When new drinks were delivered, he got right back into the conversation.

“So, you’re not going to tell me your real name or whether or not you have another profession, and I don’t get to know if you’re single?”

“You catch on quick.”

“I feel like you might be a librarian or something during the day, or a teacher. Something completely opposite of what you do here.”

“I’m strictly a bartender,” you said honestly.

“See, I don’t know if I can believe you.”

“You know, I enjoy the fact that you seem to be genuinely trying to get to know me; and I could tell you anything and you would never know if I was being honest or not.”

“This is fun for you?”

“You have no idea,” you chuckled.

“I could play the same game,” Rob said.

“You could, but you won’t,” you pointed out. Rob’s mouth turned up into a smile again, seemingly enjoying this little game you were playing with him. You took a drink of your beer, trying to turn your focus away from his eyes now. You very suddenly realized that you may be crossing a line here. It was one thing to flirt with the customers to keep them coming back; but now, you felt as if you were genuinely flirting with the man for your own interest. Not only was that breaking your own code at work, you were also breaking a relationship code. You knew it was time to stop this, especially since you were currently a customer and not behind the bar simply working for tips. You downed the rest of your beer, standing now when you realized it was time to leave.

“Thanks for the drinks,” you said, “but it’s time for me to go home for real.”

Rob stood suddenly, “I’ll walk you out.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” you mumbled as you collected your belongings. You pointed to Matt who was standing at the end of the bar nearest the door, “See that guy? I’d say he’s quite a bit bigger than you.”

“Your boyfriend?”

“My security,” you corrected him.

“Wow, you get your own security?”

“He walks me to my car every night. You’d be better off not even trying.”

“I can take a hint,” he replied.

“You have a good night,” you said to him before looking up at the other two men and Briana, “all of you. Don’t get too crazy.”

“Goodnight, Lola,” Briana called after you as you walked away.

“I’ll see you around bartender,” you heard Rob’s voice follow hers. You smiled to yourself, waving a hand at them without looking back, Matt right at your heels as you left.


	3. Mixed Drinks About Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has never considered fooling around with a customer. Well, not until recently

The guys from the band, along with some of their friends, continued to make themselves regulars at the bar. They showed up almost every weekend, immediately gravitating to you and Briana. You and Bri were actually happy to see them each time. If nothing else, they were fun to have conversations with and always tipped well. You had come to know their favorite drinks and even remembered their names. You found out this was a big plus with them and often resulted in more cash in your pocket when you acknowledged them by name each time they walked in.

Rob had backed off slightly with his advances, and tonight, he seemed mostly interested in talking to some of the female patrons of the bar.

It wasn’t jealousy, but you couldn’t help but watch him throughout the night; eavesdropping in when he attempted to carry a conversation with some unsuspecting woman close by. It seemed as if the other men either didn’t have an interest in hitting on anyone, or they simply had better luck at it.

“You kept shooting him down,” Briana said suddenly as she leaned in next to you. You were restocking the beer cooler, still staring off in Rob’s direction. “I think he’s moved on.”

“Good,” you replied, “I wasn’t interested anyway.”

“Really? Because you keep staring at him, I’m beginning to think you’re a little jealous.”

“Of what?” You laughed. “Of the way all these women seem to be shooting him down too?”

“Yeah, he doesn’t seem to be having much luck tonight.”

“I’m just genuinely curious as to why he’s failing,” you added, “he’s always such a sweet talker, he almost had me there a few times.”

“Oh?” Briana asked, raising a brow at you in curiosity. “So there is a chance?”

“Shut up,” you mumbled.

It wasn’t until much later when most of the crowd had cleared out that the guys gravitated toward the bar. They each sat down, looking rather drunk but continuing to order drinks.

“Not having a good night?” You asked as you stopped in front of Rob, placing his drink down in front of him.

“I never have a good night,” he replied. He grabbed his beer, taking a long drink. “The other guys make it look so easy.”

“Yeah, I can tell. I was watching the way you kept getting shot down.”

“You were watching me?”

“Observing.”

“Well, maybe you can tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

“I have a feeling you couldn’t handle the truth very well.”

“You and I don’t have a great history with telling the truth, do we?”

“Fair enough. But I’m willing to drop some truth if it means we are only discussing you.”

“Fine, lay it on me. Only if you think your advice means something.”

You placed another beer in front of him, knowing that he’d need it after hearing the advice you were about to offer.

“I’m the friendly neighborhood bartender… I think it’s in my job description to offer advice to paying customers.”

“You’re funny,” Rob grinned. He took a drink of his beer before speaking again. “Let me hear it. What am I doing wrong?”

“Well, your first mistake is trying to pick up women in a bar.”

“Isn’t that how adults meet other adults?”

“Well, yeah. If you’re looking for a hook up.”

“Maybe that’s all I’m looking for,” he said softly.

“If you were only looking for a hookup, you would’ve found one by now.”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do.”

“Maybe…” you trailed off.

“Besides, these guys,” he said, pointing to his fellow bandmates and friends, “are all mostly married, have kids, are in relationships… yet women just throw themselves at them.”

“I think women have the tendency to want the things that are already taken.”

“Even when I was in a relationship, it never worked like that for me.’

“Truth bomb,” you said, “you’re making yourself too available.”

“What? How can I be too available?” He leaned back slightly, placing his hands on the counter as he gave you an incredulous look. Already, he wasn’t taking your advice well. It might have been a better idea to stop there because you didn’t want to hurt the man’s feelings; but you kept talking anyway.

“Women like the thrill of the chase. It’s not just men who go after the hard to get. You, you’re putting yourself out there like you’re desperate. It’s a turn off.”

“Wow, thanks. What else am I doing wrong?” He asked sarcastically.

“Where do I begin?” You smiled at him.

“Rude.”

“Okay, seriously though… one, don’t actively look for chicks at a bar, I guess unless you’re really just looking to get laid. But you don’t seem like the type.”

“Maybe I do just want to get laid,” he added.

“Okay, fine,” you chuckled, “in that case, you’re too goddamn nice.”

“I’m too nice?” Now, he rolled his eyes at you.

“Yeah, I mean, don’t get me wrong, women love a nice guy… but there’s got to be a bit of danger. I’ve watched you hit on countless women here, you’re too… needy, too clingy, too… attentive.”

“What the hell? So women want a guy who’s a jerk to her?”

“No, I don’t mean turn into an asshole. Just, you gotta at least appear to be less interested. Like, it’s cool to buy a girl a drink, dance with her or whatever. But you… you always jump at any woman who accepts a drink or a dance. You turn into this panicked little guy who seems immediately attached when a woman shows you any interest.”

“Ouch,” he grimaced at your harsh words. You would have thought you really hurt his feelings until he beamed at you with that amazing smile afterwards.

“Truth hurts. I’m just saying, tone down the niceness. Let them come to you once in awhile.”

“I can do that,” he replied.

“Third…” you began as you continued to think of your list of ways Rob could improve his game.

“There’s more?”

You shot him a look as if to say, ‘don’t get me started.’

“Third, relax a little.”

“I am relaxed.”

“No, you’re not. I’ve never seen someone so anxious about everything. Prime example, you’re so worried about picking up chicks at a bar that you’re asking the bartender for advice.”

“I’m afraid that anxious is my default setting.”

“Hmm, just comes naturally then?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I can shut it off.”

“Interesting…” you trailed off.

“What’s interesting?”

“You’re just… you’re a very different person when you talk to me. I’ve never seen the nervousness and clinginess until I watch you talk to other women.”

“Maybe I’m just comfortable around my favorite bartender,” he replied with a smile.

“Really though, my advice is to just to not try so hard. Maybe sit back and let things happen. I mean, you’re good-looking. You’re in a band, which is a plus. And you’re actually a decent guy from what I’ve seen. And, if you’re looking for something more serious that a one-night stand, you’re looking in the wrong place.”

“Did you just call me good-looking?”

“That’s what you heard out of that whole thing?” You smirked at him. You felt your heart begin to race when you realized you had let it slip that you found him attractive. You were already letting your guard down with the man, and it wasn’t something you were ready for.

“That’s all that matters.”

“You’re impossible.” You turned from him, moving to the counter behind you in an attempt to regain your composure after your flirtation. Sure, you always flirted with men at the bar, it’s just what you did. The only problem now was that you thought you might be flirting; not in an effort to encourage the man to tip you more; but because you might be interested in him.

“What do you mean by I’m looking in the wrong place?” He asked, breaking you from your thoughts. You turned back to face him again.

“I just mean, you’re not going to find a serious woman in a bar. Not this bar anyway. All these girls are out looking for the same thing that most men are.”

“Really?”

“I mean, there are always exceptions, but, honestly you’d be better off meeting ‘the one’ at a grocery store. Especially at our ages. Girlfriend material does not spend every weekend at a bar.”

“Duly noted. Did you meet your boyfriend at a bar?”

“We’re not talking about me, and we’re certainly not discussing whether or not I have a boyfriend,” you answered, easily dodging his question.

“I’m just curious. I’m tired of talking about me because apparently, I’m pretty bad at being me.”

“I didn’t say that. I basically said you seem like a great guy who is just looking for something in the wrong place.”

“You’re still not going to answer me? After all this time?” He looked at you with those blue eyes, almost pleading for you to let him in on one of your secrets.

“Some things are better left to the imagination,” you replied. You watched him as he bit his lip at you. For some reason, the simple action that you often caught him doing when he watched you still made you think about those lips. You wondered what they might feel like on your skin. When you caught yourself fantasizing about him again, you shook the thoughts away, trying to go back to the conversation.

“So, do you count in the generalization of women in bars who are just looking to get laid?” He asked.

“First of all, I work here. Secondly, that’s none of your business.”

“Well, you know all about my shitty attempts at trying to get laid.”

“Only because you bring it up.”

“Yeah, why is that?” He asked, genuinely curious as to why he was an open book and you were not. “We’ve been talking for a couple of months now and you only listen to me ramble. I know nothing about you.”

“I like to keep it that way. Besides, it seems to just be a part of my job really… listen to the drunk customers tell you all about their lives, offer up words of wisdom… hopefully get a decent tip.”

“So, you talk to me because I tip you?” He asked, and over exaggerated look of hurt crossing his face.

“Hey, customer service jobs… you gotta know how to work the client.”

“Wow, I’ll remember that,” he warned, “I feel so used.”

“Seriously though, why do you worry about my opinion?”

“I dunno, it just seems like stuff you would have insight on. “

“I see a lot working here. I think I have a basic understanding of the ins and outs of meeting people in a bar. Trust me, it’s not always the best idea.”

“You ever consider having a one-night stand with a customer before?” His question caught you off guard. You stared at him, mouth agape as you thought about what to say to that. You weren’t sure if he was honestly asking you the question, or if he might be hinting at something in his own weird way.

“No,” you said simply, recovering from the shock over the unwarranted question.

“Come on, not even once?” A corner of his mouth lifted as he watched for your reaction. You wanted to slap the smirk right off of him; not because you were offended, you had your fair share of inappropriate questions in all the years you had been in this job. You mostly wanted to slap him because you felt that he might have caught you in a lie. You hadn’t ever considered sleeping with a customer, until now at least.

“I know better than to mix work and play. It doesn’t end well,” you said, mostly trying to convince yourself.

“What if the customer kinda works here too?” He asked.

“What?”

“I mean, what if he is… I don’t know, in a band that plays here? Is that really considered a customer? Or maybe it’s a co-worker type of thing.”

You sucked in a breath, suddenly thrilled that he had gone back to hitting on you. You didn’t know why, but watching him hit on other women tonight had made you a little jealous. He was very suddenly back to turning his attention to you, and you really liked it.

“I don’t mess around with co-workers either,” you said softly.

“What do I have to do to break you out of your shell?” He asked. He leaned against the bar with his elbows, still watching you intently.

“It’s unbreakable.”

“Well, I guess I’m obviously not getting anywhere with you either,” he chuckled, “But, are you ever going to tell me your name?”

You held your hand out to him playfully and he eagerly took it in his, his grip tight around your hand. “I’m Lola, nice to meet you Rob.”

“I can’t stand you,” he said, not letting go of your hand.

“You love me. I’m your favorite.”

“You’re right,” he replied as he finally loosened his grip on you, allowing you to slip your hand away from his. For a moment, you thought you felt yourself blushing over the contact.

“Hey, I’ve got something for you.” Rob began to rifle through the pile of jackets that he and his friends had discarded on one of the bar-stools, searching for something. When he finally found what he was looking for, he tossed it across the bar to you. You caught the shirt and curiously unfolded it to see that he had given you one of his bands t-shirts.

“Wow, you really know the way to a woman’s heart.” you joked.

“Shut up, it’s for you to wear when we play here. Briana has one too.”

“Well, we are your biggest supporters I guess.” You folded the shirt up and set it aside, looking back to Rob who was studying you pretty hard now.

“We’re doing a show at a bar across town next weekend. You should come see us play.”

“I’ve seen you play twice.”

“Doesn’t count if you’re working during our set.”

“Trust me, I’ve heard you.”

“Come on, I think you’d have fun.”

“I already told you, I don’t fraternize with my customers. Especially when they’re usuals now.”

“Guess I better find a new bar,” he grinned, “don’t think of it as fraternizing. Think of it as going to watch some live music; a night off.”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” you replied. In all honesty, it sounded like fun. You had only heard them play when you had free moments during their sets, and from what you had heard, they were pretty great. You never really got to watch them though. A night out, watching them play, not having to worry about work for once… it all sounded nice. You really didn’t want to give Rob the wrong impression though. While you were certain you were very attracted to him, you didn’t want him to know it. There was no way in hell you’d ever act on it; not only because he was a customer, but also because you had a boyfriend.

“Well, Briana is coming and she’s probably going to talk you into going anyway,” Rob warned.

“Of course she is.”

Rob’s friend and band-mates were now calling to Rob as they headed for the door. Rob downed the rest of his drink and stood up from his stool as he found his wallet. He fumbled for cash, leaving a wad of it on the counter.

“Well, I guess I’ve got to go,” he mumbled, “thanks for the advice and the conversation.”

“Of course, that’s why I’m here,” you laughed.

“Yeah, but I have to pay you to talk to me.”

“You ask a bartender for advice, you gotta pay for her time,” you shrugged as you collected his money.

“I’m hurt.”

“You’ll live. And, I’ll see you next time.”

“Yeah, see you next weekend at our show,” he said with a wink as he put on his coat.

“Don’t assume I’ll be there.”

“Oh, you’ll be there,” he replied, “I look forward to seeing my bartender outside of work.”

“Where’s this attitude when you hit on random chicks here?”

“I don’t know…” he said as he screwed up his face, almost as if he were wondering the same thing, “like I said, I think I’m just comfortable around you.”

“Goodnight, Rob,” you called out to him as he headed for the exit. He waved to you as he left, leaving you grinning from ear to ear.

“That was interesting.” You were broken from your thoughts again, this time by Briana who was now standing next to you as you watched Rob leave.

“What?” You asked, still unable to wipe the smile off your face.

“It’s a good thing I was here to do all the work, because you acted as if he was the only person in this bar.”

“Shit,” you muttered as you glanced around to see that there were still in fact other patrons, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Briana said, “after all that flirting, I think we’re one step closer to you getting laid finally.”

“I have a boyfriend,” you reminded her.

“Yeah, a lame one that even you don’t like.”

You rolled your eyes at her, not ready to listen to her go on about Tyler right now. It was bad enough that you weren’t exactly happy with him all the time; it was even worse when Bri went on her rants about him.

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I do enjoy flirting with that man. He’s really cute.”

“That does make me feel better,” she beamed.

“I think I need a drink,” you said. You thought about Rob again; how funny he was and how easy it was to carry a conversation with him, even if you only ever told him lies. The last conversation you had had with Tyler was over the phone when you had to call him at four in the morning just to see where he was.

“Really? I’m always trying to get you to drink on the job, what has changed tonight?”

“I’m having feelings,” you laughed.

“You’re into the guy?” Briana moved around you, already grabbing bottles so she could mix you up a drink.

“I shouldn’t be, and I won’t act on it. But, I like the attention.”

She smiled as she made your drink, “I wish you would act on it. Get rid of that asshole of a boyfriend and just let hot lead singer guy fuck you.”

“Briana!” You shouted. You were definitely blushing now as she handed the drink to you.

“You’re so innocent,” she said as she held your face in her hands, “drink up.”

“Did you just make me a Sex on the Beach?” You asked as you examined the liquid in the glass.

“A girl can dream,” she replied wistfully as you took a drink.

“Why are you so concerned about my sex life anyway?”

“I’m in a serious relationship, I have to live vicariously through you.”

* * *

You got home well after 3 am, thinking that Tyler would be home, maybe fast asleep. You didn’t usually get home this late, but you and Briana had more drinks to deal with your feelings after closing the bar for the night. You weren’t completely surprised to find that he was in fact, not home.

You sighed heavily upon finding out that the apartment was empty. You tossed your coat and bag down on a chair, considering calling him, just to see where he was and what he was doing. Pulling out your phone, you let your thumb hover over his name for a moment before deciding against it. You weren’t sure if you really wanted to know where he was at this hour, and you could only imagine what he was doing.

You headed for your bedroom, quickly changing into pajamas and crawling into bed. You were sort of grateful that he wasn’t home, it was nice to have the bed to yourself. Even more, it was nice to not walk directly into an argument, that you admit, would most likely be your fault.

Instead of letting yourself dwell on Tyler, you thought back to your conversation with Rob. You liked that he was attentive, even if he didn’t even know your name. Whatever air of mystery you put out there, it seemed to keep him coming back for more. You had to admit, you liked the idea of having that effect on him.

You grabbed your phone, quickly shooting Bri a text now that you were thinking about it.

_Y/N: We going to see the band next weekend?_

You half expected her to be passed out by now, but she text you back quicker than expected.

_Bri: I thought you’d never ask. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure you get a piece of that. Leave me alone. I’m tired._

You smiled to yourself as you put your phone back on the nightstand. While you knew you weren’t going to pursue the man, it was nice to have a friend willing to go with you so you could at least look at him.


	4. I Feel a Sin Comin' On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You knew the man would be trouble, you just didn’t expect him to be the kind of trouble that you might chase after.

The following Friday, you found yourself at Briana’s place while she was still getting ready. You, being the reliable one, were already dressed and ready for your night out. You had managed to slip on your favorite dress, that was usually saved for special occasions, and make it past Tyler with a lie that you were working tonight. It was weird enough that he had even been home, even weirder that you left the house without so much as a question as to why you were dressed the way you were. It wasn’t your usual work attire and you thought that maybe he would catch on.

You sat on Briana’s couch as she worked on the last of her makeup, wondering why you had lied to Tyler in the first place. It’s not like he was ever home anyway, and you usually didn’t ask him where he had been all night or even thought to ask him where he was going. He tended to treat you the same. If you had told him that you were going out with Bri to see a band, he wouldn’t have said a thing about it. You couldn’t help but wonder if your lie might have happened because you felt guilty for going to see Rob. You had convinced yourself that it was nothing really, you had no intention of giving in to his advances; but you really did find the man attractive. Perhaps that was where your guilt stemmed from.

“By the time you’re done, we’re going to miss the entire set,” you called out to Bri, frustrated that she was taking so long.

“I’m done!” She shouted back to you. Almost as soon as she had said it, she was walking into the living room, jacket in hand.

“”Finally,” you said.

“I’m getting the feeling that someone is excited to see her favorite customer,” Briana teased.

“Hey, he’s nice to look at, and the flirting is very flattering.”

“You’re so gonna get laid tonight.”

“Really? I mention that he’s cute and you immediately assume that I’m going to sleep with him?”

“I’m just hoping is all.”

* * *

Upon arriving at the venue, Bri immediately went to get you both drinks while you picked a table to sit at close to the stage. You had to admit, you felt a bit out of your element. You spent a lot of time working at the bar, but not a lot of time as a customer at one. You were glad to have Bri with you, mostly because you were sure she’d help you figure out how to act. It had been a long time since you had been out to just enjoy yourself.

Briana returned with drinks and the two of you talked for a while until it was time for the band to take the stage. You perked up when you noticed them; well, when you noticed Rob as he bounded up on stage, picking up a guitar and quickly leading the band into soundcheck. You eyed him, suddenly more interested now that you got to actually see him on stage up close. Something about a guy with a guitar always did have an effect on you.

They wasted no time going into their first song, one that you might have recognized from the times they played at the bar. You felt a bit sad that you hadn’t taken the time to really listen to them those times, but happy that you were able to do so now. They went through their set, stopping occasionally to joke with each other or thank their fans. Overall, their music was great. You also thought a lot about how Rob became even more sexy as you watched him move around that stage, face and chest now dripping with sweat, that gravelly voice belting out the lyrics with more emotion than you had ever seen in a singer before. Eventually, there came a time when you could no longer look away from him. The rest of the band all but seemed to disappear, and you almost forgot where you were. It wasn’t until Briana elbowed you that you broke from your daze, smiling at her as the music continued to fill the room. During one song, you were sure that Rob caught on to your staring as he shot you a wink while he played. You felt your heart race at the fact that he even noticed you sitting there, and hoped that maybe he had been looking forward to seeing your face in the crowd all night.

When the show ended, the guys made a point of it to head toward you and Briana. If nothing else, you liked to think you had formed a good friendship with these guys. You were always friendly and talkative with your regulars, but it had grown into something very different with them. It was almost as if you were just hanging out with old friends, even if you were at work. Tonight was no different. The guys ordered more drinks, joining you and Bri and immediately engaging in conversation. Your nervousness over feeling out of your element all but disappeared when Rob sat next to you, draping his arm along the back of your chair. You felt like a school-girl, the way the smallest bit of physical contact with him made you blush and made your stomach flip. You couldn’t help but glance over at him now; taking in how sexy he looked covered in sweat as he took a drink from his beer. You had to pry your eyes away from watching his mouth against the bottle, suddenly unable to catch your breath at the sight of him.

The night went on; everyone talking and laughing loudly. It wasn’t until Rob very discreetly placed his hand on your knee, gradually allowing it to work it’s way up your thigh and beneath the hem of your dress that things got interesting. You glanced at him as he appeared to be waiting for you to push him away. He almost looked as if he knew he was pushing his luck, but he was willing to try anyway.

You didn’t push him away though. You should have, after all, you had a boyfriend. But the feeling of his rough hand on the most sensitive part of your skin sent shocks through you. You put your hand over his, letting him linger there on your thigh. You knew you were leading him on, but you couldn’t stop. You were very suddenly wrestling with the fact that you had Tyler, who might or might not be at home waiting for you at home tonight; but you very much wanted Rob in this moment.

When the rest of the group went off on some tangent about music, seemingly really into the discussion; Rob, who still had his hand on your leg, leaned into you.

You felt his breath, hot against your neck as he pressed his face against your skin. You felt the softness of his lips first, lightly moving against your neck. Then, you felt the harsh scrape of his beard against you, a feeling that sent shivers down your spine.

“Come with me,” he muttered against your ear before pulling back to look at you. You nodded at him, suddenly intrigued by him as he took your hand and led you from the loud bar. You didn’t know what to expect really, but you were a bit surprised when he led you from the building, using a back entrance to pull you out into an abandoned alley. You sort of knew what was happening, and while you knew you should stop it before it did happen, you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You were interested to see what he would do, in fact, you were waiting for it.

While you had a small idea of what this was, you were still caught off guard when he turned to you, grabbing you gently by your arms as he walked you backwards, pressing you firmly against the cold brick wall behind you. Before you could think, he moved his hands and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you into him while still pressing you against the wall with his body. Your breath caught, and you considered asking him to back off, but his lips were on yours before you could react. It startled you at first, realizing that he was kissing you now. His lips were softer than expected and you closed your eyes as your arms involuntarily moved up to rest on his shoulders, hands running along the nape of his neck. You heard him groan, which only prompted you to part your lips for him, intrigued by his sounds.

As soon as he was given the green light, he deepened the kiss, now, allowing his tongue to explore your mouth. You felt your legs weaken when he decided to suck your bottom lip into his mouth, lightly biting at it as he did so. You let out a moan at the feeling of him heatedly kissing you. The moment you did, he pressed into you harder and you could feel his excitement pressing firm against your thigh. Although you didn’t mind the fact that he was kissing you, because you had honestly thought about it for a while now, you knew you couldn’t let things go any further than this. You tried to push against him to cue him in that the kissing was okay, but he needed to keep it at that.

He didn’t let his mouth leave yours. He continued to kiss you as he worked a hand down your waist and down the back of your thigh where he grasped you, pulling your leg up so that you were nearly wrapped around him. The feel of him still pressed against you had you worked up, but you couldn’t let this happen. You slid your hands down his shoulders to his chest where you very firmly pushed against him, breaking the kiss and prompting him to let go of your leg as he took a step back from you. You very suddenly missed the contact. But held firm in the fact that this couldn’t go any further. You stared at each other, breathless and silent for a moment.

“Are you okay?” He asked first, breaking the silence.

“I’m fine,” you assured him.

“That was too much? I went too far?”

“That was nice, I enjoyed it,” you began, “but I’m not going to let you fuck me in an alley.”

Rob grinned at you, stepping toward you again. You wanted him to kiss you again, hell, you wanted him to do a lot more to you; but you knew you had to stop.

He pressed his hands against the brick wall on either side of your head, your back still pushed against it. He looked down at you, moving in to kiss you again. It was soft and excruciatingly slow this time, his tongue tracing along your lips as you opened your mouth, waiting for another taste of him. He didn’t give in this time, only teased you briefly before speaking.

“Then let me take you home with me, bartender,” he he said softly, those blue eyes studying you and waiting.

“I have a boyfriend,” you replied breathlessly, “and I’m not a cheater.”

Rob’s eyes widened, that sly smirk creeping back on his face, “I knew it,” he muttered before moving his face against your neck, kissing at the sensitive skin there, his beard scratching against you.

You realized that you had just given him too much information without meaning to.

“You did not know,” you said.

“Yes, I did. I knew all along.”

“So, you just go around, kissing women that you know have boyfriends?”

“Only if I’m sure that they want it.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Hmm,” he hummed as he found your mouth with his again, “but you’re not stopping me. Come on, let’s get out of here. I don’t care if you’re taken, I’ll make you forget all about him.”

“And you’re cocky.”

“You would be too if you were in my position. Making out with a very taken hot bartender, who can’t find it in herself to tell you no. Because you’re certain she wants it as much as you do.”

“Okay, you can stop now.”

“Is that what you want?” He asked, now mouthing along your collarbone, causing you to gasp at the sensation.

“I-I don’t know,” you stuttered. You were no longer able to think straight as he continued to praise your body with his mouth. You didn’t want him to stop. You wanted him, and the realization sort of scared you.

“Come home with me,” he said again. He began to work his hand up your thigh again, mouth still working against your neck. He moved his hand up your leg until he became dangerously close to your building arousal. He palmed at you, causing you to gasp. You threw your head back, nearly slamming back onto the wall behind you.

“No,” you breathed out as he rubbed his hand against you.

“No?” He asked, “then you do want me to have you right here in this alley?”

“It’s not going to happen,” you said as you looked back to him.

“Really?”

“You’ve forgotten a few very important things; I don’t date customers, you don’t even know my name, and you think you’re smooth… but, you couldn’t handle me.”

He raised a brow, intrigued by your words.

“who said anything about dating, I’ll call you whatever the fuck you want me to call you, and… I’m certain you’re right. But I’m willing to try.”

You grinned at him, impressed with his insistence. You had to admit, the fact that he seemed to want you so badly was a turn on.

His hand that had been pressing against you moved as he led it up to the hem of your underwear. You sucked in a breath as he let his fingertips slide beneath them, working their way back down. He began to tease your clit with one finger, watching you intently to try to gauge your reaction. When you closed your eyes and let out a moan, he took that as his cue to keep going. He slipped two fingers into you, letting his palm rub against your clit. You moaned louder, bliss overcoming you as he began to pump his fingers into you. You looked at him as he watched you. His eyes blown with lust as he watched you get off. You thought he might still be waiting for you to stop him, but you couldn’t. All you could do was enjoy the slow build of heat as he pleasured you, your hips now moving against his hand, wanting more. He bit his lip as he slipped another finger into you, now moving faster and harder against you.

“Fuck, Rob,” you moaned as you felt your climax coil up within you, ready to break at any moment. He crashed his lips against yours, still working his fingers into you. All you could do was moan into his mouth, hands now grasping onto him as he moved inside of you.

He broke the kiss, pressing his forehead firmly against yours, still watching you.

“Cum for me,” he whispered. That was it. The coil of heat that had built up finally broke. Your body stuttered against his hand, legs giving out at you reached your release. You cried out, grasping onto his shoulders to keep yourself steady as you came. He was pressed against you still, face buried into the crook of your neck, fingers still working within you. You thought you may have heard him groan his approval as you came, but all you could do was keep your grip on him as you tried to steady your breathing. Once he was sure you were okay, he removed his hand from you, reaching up with his other hand to brush your hair from your face before pressing his mouth against yours again. You wanted to regain yourself, you wanted to tell him that he had gone too far, but you moaned against his mouth again. He shouldn’t be having this effect on you, but you quickly realized that he was going to be addictive. You hated the idea of not being able to take things further with him, because you really wanted to know what else he could do.

“Do I get your name now, Bartender?” He asked with a smirk as he removed his mouth from yours. You stared at him in a daze, knowing that in this case, it might be okay to let the guy in a little; but the idea of toying with him seemed more fun.

“No,” you replied playfully.

“Still playing?” He asked. You only nodded.

“I don’t let strange men know my name,” you breathed out, “not that you’re strange.”

“Why?”

“Bad experience with a customer,” you answered simply, “the last thing I need is another stalker.”

Rob’s eyes narrowed, “I’m not a stalker. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but, I also have to note how you’ve given yourself away a couple of times tonight.”

“What?”

“I still don’t have your name, but I know the reason why I don’t get a name and I also know that I was right about you having a boyfriend.”

“Minor details,” you whispered.

“I’m not sure how I feel knowing that you’re taken. I mean, you don’t seem like the type to cheat, which was sort of nice. Now, I’m just not sure.”

You moved your hand to his hair, grasping your fingers into his dark curls as you pulled him back to you, this time taking control as you kissed him heatedly to which he moaned against your mouth.

“You’re breaking your rules bartender,” he muttered when the kiss ended.

“My rule is to not date customers, I hardly call this dating.”

“Your rule was to not get _involved_ with customers. I think you and I are… very involved right now. And I assume you have a rule about cheating somewhere in your book. You have a boyfriend, and you’re playing a very dangerous game.”

“You want me to stop?” You asked. The last thing you wanted to do was describe your very complicated relationship with Tyler to this man. The best you could do at this point was lead him away from the discussion by teasing him. You knew what you were doing was wrong. It wasn’t like you to cheat. You were overcome by the guilt right now. Unfortunately, the excitement of Rob overshadowed those feelings of guilt.

He studied you briefly, “Not at all. But, I think it would do you some good to consider leaving the guy. Obviously you don’t love him anyway.”

“You think you’re so smart,” you said, unamused at his observation. He wouldn’t be wrong. It’s not that you and Tyler were madly in love anymore. At this point, it was a comfortable relationship, despite how much he pissed you off. You had never considered cheating on him, but you felt the guilt build within you when you realized that what was happening here, was not innocent at all. You wanted Rob and you had already crossed that line and cheated. Something about him made it difficult to uphold yourself to the rules that you had established for yourself.

“Just for posterity purposes, I’ll ask one more time… would you like to go home with me?” He leaned in again, nipping at your earlobe as if he knew exactly how to work you up. “There’s more where that came from.”

You groaned quietly, compelled by his offer, but aware that you had already let this go too far.

“No,” you managed to utter, regretful that you had to say it at all.

Rob pulled back from you, putting distance between the two of you. He grinned as he walked away, heading back for the door that he had lead you out of to begin with.

“Alright, I can take a hint,” he said as his hand found the door handle, “let me know if you change your mind.”

“I don’t have your phone number,” you reminded him.

“I don’t have yours either,” he replied, “but you know I’ll see you around. Can’t stay away from my favorite bartender, even if she shoots me down.”

You watched him as he returned to the venue, door closing shut behind him. You were left breathless and shaky still leaned up against the cold brick wall. You took a moment to let everything register; the kissing, the way he focused on getting you off without expecting anything in return, his words encouraging you to leave Tyler. The man didn’t know you, and while you had barely let slip a couple of details about yourself, it was hardly grounds for him to think you should leave your boyfriend for him.

You took out your phone, immediately bringing up Briana’s name. You had to let her know you were leaving, and there was no way you could go back into the bar given the state you were in.

_Y/N: I’m heading out. You okay?_

_Bri: I’m good. You sure you’re ready to leave?_

_Y/N: Yeah, I’m tired._

_Bri: I saw you leave with the singer, but he’s back now. What happened?_

_Y/N: You have no idea. It’s a long story._

_Bri: I can’t wait to hear all about it!_

You chuckled to yourself, putting your phone back in the pocket of your jacket. You pushed yourself off the wall, legs still woozy and head still swimming as you attempted to pull yourself together.

You didn’t fool around with customers. Tonight had been a first for you. You would have liked to say that this would never happen again, but even you knew you couldn’t lie to yourself, especially if the man was able to make you feel that good.

“You are going to be trouble,” you sighed out loud, glad that Rob wasn’t there anymore to hear you say it. No matter how serious you were about upholding your rules, you knew that this man would be the one to bring you to break them all.


	5. Another Vice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You told yourself you wouldn’t end up here. Maybe you could learn to live with being a one-night stand; being a cheater is a different story.

The week following your sudden tryst in the alley with Rob only left you questioning yourself. You had put yourself in a position of weakness with the man; not only giving into how attracted you were to him, but also putting yourself into the position of being a cheater. You beat yourself up over it the entire time, feeling somewhat bad for having been in such a compromising position with someone who wasn’t your boyfriend. All the while, thoughts of Rob still remained. You didn’t stop thinking about the way his lips felt on you, or the way he made you feel when he got you off in a very public place.

This might have been awkward thinking of him this way when you were at home, but true to form, Tyler remained MIA most of the time. You spent your nights in your bed, alone and allowing yourself to think about another man. You shouldn’t have felt guilty about it, because you never knew what Tyler was up to most of the time. He could be doing the same thing; or worse, for all you knew.

You went into work Friday night, grateful to see that Briana was working with you again. You knew she would have questions, considering the fact that she had been more excited about the possibility of you hooking up with Rob than you had been. You had all but dodged her texts all week, praying that she wouldn’t show up at the bar to nag you. You felt that you were finally ready to indulge her now, and work was probably the best place to do so. 

“What happened last weekend?” She asked finally. You had been working for a few hours already, waiting for it.

“Well, I left with the guy briefly.”

“I know. I saw you. I figured you were going home with him, until he came back and you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t go back inside after…” you trailed off, wondering if it was too much information.

“After what?”

“After we… fooled around out back.”

Briana’s eyes widened, a ridiculous grin spreading across her face.

“Details! I want details!”

“We made out, he’s a really good kisser.”

“That can’t be all.”

“He kept trying to take me home with him, to which I said no. And then… stuff happened.”

She waited eagerly.

“Did you fuck in the alley?”

“No!” You exclaimed, a little hurt that she thought you’d even do that. “He may have got me off.”

“Naughty,” she smirked, “I’d be more proud if you had slept with him though.”

You laughed at her, shaking your head as you turned your attention back to the customers at the bar.

Most of the night stayed fairly steady. You had your usuals pop in, only because it was a Friday night and many patrons were just looking to unwind after a long work week. You made small talk, prepared drinks, and gave some of your attention to those that you knew well. You managed to stay busy enough so that you weren’t constantly thinking about last week and what had happened at the show.

Halfway through your shift, you had almost forgotten about Rob completely; too busy talking and working. It wasn’t until you glanced up toward the door by chance when you noticed Rob and a couple of the other guys wander in. He was with Jason, as usual, and they were accompanied by Billy. You felt your breath catch and your heart beat quicken at the sight of him; suddenly overcome with thoughts of how he had made you feel last week in that alley. Your excitement was short lived however when the memory of the fact that you had allowed any of that to happen in the first place crept up on you; reminding you that you were a cheater.

He and his friends made their way to the bar and you tried hard not to acknowledge them right away. Surely you could behave like an adult, but you couldn’t help but feel a little giddy now that he was here. The men chose to sit at the bar, directly in front of where you were already making drinks for some other customers.

“Hey bartender,” Rob said first. You glanced up at him, noticing a mischievous grin pulling up on his lips when you finally paid attention to him. You were sure he was probably thinking the same thing you were; he was probably remembering what had happened the last time you saw each other.

“Hey guys,” you replied after a brief pause, trying to keep your cool, “let me drop these off and I’ll be right with you.”

You quickly grabbed the drinks and delivered them to the customers at the end of the bar, taking your time as you cashed them out and walked back over to the guys. This was a lot more awkward than you had expected it to be, but then again, you had never been someone’s fling before. You really didn’t know how to act right now. You stopped in front of the guys, pulling your focus away from Rob and looking between Jason and Billy, trying desperately to avoid Rob’s stare that was currently burning through you.

“What can I get for you?”

“The usual,” Jason answered. You nodded and moved to grab three beers from the cooler. You placed them on the counter, opening each one and placing them in front of each man. You left Rob for last, thinking it would somehow be less awkward. As you set the beer down in front of him, he quickly grabbed for it, capturing your hand in between the bottle and his own hand. You looked at him, watching his grin grow wider until you finally pulled away from him. Even the contact of his hand against yours was making your stomach flip and all you could think about now was how he had turned you into a shaking mess in that alley just by using that exact same hand. It was almost as if he knew it too.

“How is my favorite bartender?” Rob asked, shooting you a wink as he brought the bottle to his lips, taking a drink.

“I’m good,” you replied, “and I’m sure you ask all of your bartenders that.”

You had very easily slipped back into your flirty, almost cocky alias. Even though the man had you a mess; he was no match for how well you could play your role. Now, you were making eye contact; determined not to let him affect you anymore.

“Trust me, I’m very faithful to my bartender.”

You weren’t sure why you let his words get to you. There was a sudden pang in your chest as he said it though. You almost felt that he was taking a dig at you and how you were anything but a faithful person.

All you could do was force a smile before you had to turn away from him; unsure of what he really meant by it, but knowing that his words sort of stung. You had spent years avoiding hooking up with random men that came through here, you also prided yourself on being a loyal girlfriend to Tyler no matter what came your way. In one instance of, what you kept telling yourself was a drunken mistake, you had let yourself become all that you never wanted to be. You had started to break all of your rules.

You looked at Bri, hoping that maybe she needed help with something and you could get away from the awkwardness; but she only smiled at you, seemingly encouraging you to stay with the guys. You felt a hand grasp yours suddenly and you turned to see that Rob had placed his hand over yours on the bar. When your eyes met his, he gave you a sympathetic look.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, almost as if he had read your mind.

“Okay,” was all you could muster as you pulled your hand away from his. The closeness to him was almost uncomfortable and you knew it would only be bad news to allow him to touch you.

“I just mean that I don’t have other favorite bartenders.”

“What about Bri?” you asked.

“Bri is great,” he replied, “I mean, she’s a lot of fun and at least I know her name, but I’ve already decided that you’re my favorite.”

“And why is that anyway?” you chuckled.

“You give me great advice,” he said, lifting his beer to his lips, “and you take care of me.”

“Well, that’s what I do. Get my customers nice and drunk.”

“I also like that you let me take care of you,” he smiled broadly. He had gone from feeling bad about what he had said, right back to his flirtatious self very quickly. Your heart began to race again, remembering exactly what he was talking about. You looked back and forth between Billy and Jason, who had both been sitting there very quietly during the conversation. They each grinned, shooting Rob knowing looks. You were sure you were blushing again, certain that these guys knew exactly what he was talking about as well.

“Well, I’ll just let you believe that you took care of me,” you replied.

“You’re saying I didn’t?” He asked. You had expected to shock him, hurt his feelings, something. Instead he kept his eyes on you, a look of disbelief on his face. You hated that he knew damn well that he had made you feel amazing that night.

“I don’t know that this is the place to discuss this,” you said, still eyeing the other two men who you didn’t necessarily want to be in on this discussion.

“Fair enough,” he replied, “it’s your place of work. Another time.”

“If you’ll excuse me, there are other customers here,” you said as you walked away from him. Thankfully there were others that needed your assistance. The conversation had started to get to be a bit too much, and you wanted to get away from it. Mostly, you wanted to get away from how attracted to him you were. The thought of it was really getting to you. You knew damn well you shouldn’t have went there in the first place, and now all you could think about was his offer from that night when he had said there was more where that came from. You desperately wanted to know what it would be like. You also desperately didn’t want to continue down this path with him.

You all but ignored the men the rest of the night, letting Bri take over on their orders as you attended to other customers. It made it a bit easier, not standing there right in front of Rob. You could still feel those blue eyes on you as you worked the rest of the night; the feeling making you extremely nervous.

By closing time, Jason and Billy had left; leaving a tipsy Rob in his bar stool when he insisted he wasn’t ready to leave. Bri was gone, her shift having ended an hour ago. It was up to you to kick the last few patrons out, including Rob.

“Time to go,” you reminded him as you walked about the bar, shutting off lights as everyone else filed out of the door.

“We didn’t get last call?” Rob asked.

“Last call was an hour ago.”

“I knew that.”

“Okay, get your stuff,” you started, walking toward him as you picked up his jacket and other belongings so that you could hand them over to him.

“Let me walk you out,” Rob insisted. He reached for your hand suddenly, catching you off-guard. Out of the corner of your eye, you also saw that the movement caught Matt’s attention. He had been waiting for you, as usual, for you to close up so he could escort you out. He made a movement for you and for some reason, you held up a hand to him, indicating that you were okay. He stopped in his tracks, still watching the situation intently.

“I already told you, I don’t let customers walk me out,” you explained. You paused for a moment, thinking hard about what to do next. It was against your rules to let anyone but Matt walk you out, but, you sort of wanted to let Rob prove that he wasn’t a creep. “Hey, Matt, you can go ahead and go. I’ll lock up.”

“Really?” Matt asked, surprised by your statement.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

“Want me to walk him out first?” He asked, pointing to Rob with a disapproving look.

“No, he’s okay,” you insisted, “I trust him.”

Matt very hesitantly made his way out, only stopping twice to look back at you just to make sure. You laughed him off, grateful that you always had him to at least worry about you. You knew you were going way out of your comfort zone with this move, but the man really did intrigue you.

True to his word, Rob walked you out of the bar, watching as you closed up. You walked toward your car with him in silence, not really sure of what to say. When you approached your car, you fumbled with your keys, unlocking the doors.

“You’ve been at the bar all night and you’re driving home?” Rob said.

“I’ve been working,” you reminded him, “how did you get here anyway?”

“Jason drove…” he trailed off, looking around the empty lot, “I guess I’m calling a cab.”

“Do you need a ride?” You asked, immediately regretting the offer.

“Really?” He asked, “Isn’t that breaking one of your rules?”

“You don’t know my rules,” you said, “and besides, I think I’ve broken most of them for you anyway.”

“Okay, you can give me a ride, only if you walk me to my door and kiss me goodnight.”

“Shut up and get in before I change my mind,” you rolled your eyes, holding back a smile as you watched him get in your car.

* * *

You drove in more silence, following his directions that he occasionally gave you. When you found his house, you parked the car, turning the engine off for some reason.

“I had a really nice time tonight, bartender,” Rob said.

“Stop calling me that.”

“I will if you tell me your name.”

“It’s Lola to you.”

“First of all, that’s a ridiculous name; secondly, I bet your real name is boring anyway.”

“Get out,” you ordered him, sort of getting fed up with the intense teasing and flirting. You already knew this was a bad idea to begin with. The last thing you needed to do was continue to engage in this back and forth with him.  

“You could at least be a lady and open the door for me.”

“Seriously? This isn’t a date.”

“You’re right, I’ll get yours so you can at least walk me to my door.”

“I’m not going to-” before you could finish your thought, he was already out of the car, walking around so that he could open your door.

“You are so weird,” you pointed out as he took your hand.

“Come on, make sure I get in safely.”

You laughed as you got out, taking your keys with you; again, you didn’t know why.

You walked him to his door, feeling ridiculous in the moment. Normally, you called the shots; but he had you jumping at his every whim.

When you stopped at his door, he stopped to stare at you again.

“You’re very beautiful, bartender.”

“Okay, thanks,” you replied, now feeling uncomfortable.

“Do I get my goodnight kiss?” He said with a cocky smile. You didn’t say anything, mostly because you sort of wanted to kiss him. You thought back to that night in the alley, how good his lips had felt against yours, the way they felt brushing against your skin. It wasn’t like you to let a man win at these games, and you decided that you wouldn’t start letting him win just yet. Even with the little voice in the back of your mind reminding you that this was wrong, you leaned in anyway. You brought your hands up to his face, letting your fingertips brush against his beard before you pulled him in.

Based on his reaction of freezing, you figured you had surprised him. But, he let you kiss him, easing into it very quickly. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him as you kissed each other. It was heated and intense, and every ounce of you wanted to push him away. You couldn’t though. The longer you kissed him, the deeper you let it get; until you were gasping against his mouth, your hands now carding through his hair as you tried to bring him closer to you. When he moved against you, grinding into you as he moaned into your mouth, you realized you had let it go too far. You pushed him back, breaking the kiss; wondering why you had allowed it to happen. You figured that in the moment when you all you wanted was his hands on you, you had gone too far.

“Come in,” he breathed out, eyes blown with lust as he kept his hands firmly at your hips. You could feel his fingertips digging into you and it had you excited.

“I can’t,” you replied. God knows you wanted to.

“You can’t, or you won’t? Because there’s a big difference.”

“What do you mean? I said I can’t.”

“I mean, you say you can’t because you feel like you shouldn’t; or you can’t because you don’t want to?”

“I shouldn’t.”

He pulled you toward him again, and you let him as his mouth crashed against your in another heated kiss.

“But, you want to?”

You nodded slowly, pissed off at yourself for the way this man affected you. You were not submissive, you were not one to let a man sweet talk you, your whole job depended on you being a sarcastic flirt who mostly just led men on. At no point was the mutual flirting with a customer supposed to lead to this. Something about him was exciting though, he was different than anyone you had ever met. You felt a strange mix of comfort and nervousness all at once when you were around him. This is why you felt that you might be letting him in too much; that and the fact that you were very much taken in the relationship sense.

“I really do have a boyfriend,” you said out loud, mostly to remind yourself now that you realized you really wanted to take him up on his offer.

“That didn’t stop you last time,” he pointed out, “I’m not judging you. Obviously, things aren’t so good on the boyfriend front, otherwise you wouldn’t be here right now.”

“You know nothing about my relationship.”

“I do know that you’ve let me kiss you, repeatedly; you’ve let me do a whole lot more for you. I also know that you’re really considering coming in right now.”

“I am not.”

“Then why are you still standing here?”

“I don’t know…” you muttered, honestly asking yourself the same question. It should have been easy for you to leave; it should have been easy to not end up here to begin with.

“Look, it sucks for me that you have a boyfriend, but I’m more than happy to make up for whatever it is that he lacks.”

“You are so arrogant.”

“We’ve established that,” he said, hands still gripping your hips, “and yet, you are still here.”

You stared at him for a long time; mind racing with the pros and cons about what could happen if you walked through that door with him. Eventually, you decided that the pros would probably be far more exciting than the cons.

“Okay, I’ll come in,” you whispered.

His face lit up at your words, that cocky grin spreading across his face. He said nothing, but pulled out his keys and unlocked his door, holding it open for you. You walked past him, entering his home and you wondered if you were making a mistake. You knew that technically, this was all a mistake, but you couldn’t help but feel as if it might be the best mistake you could ever make.

“Make yourself at home,” Rob said as he shut the door behind him, “I’ll get us drinks.” He walked toward his kitchen as you stayed in one spot, looking around the space for a moment. His home was surprisingly nice. You had almost expected it to be a mess, but that was mostly your own judgement about how men lived given the fact that Tyler was a slob.

“You’re full of surprises,” you called out as you finally willed yourself to follow him toward his kitchen.

“What do you mean?”

“This is a nice place.”

“It’s pretty humble, after all, it is just me.”

“Well, I live in an apartment with a man who is a pig,” you pointed out.

“I’m barely ever home long enough to make a mess,” he replied as you watched him pour two glasses of whiskey.

“So, you’re like a legit musician?”

“Uh, yeah, I have a band and everything.”

“You have a nice collection of guitars.”

“Just a few things I’ve picked up along the way.”

“How long have you been playing?”

“With the band?” He asked. He took a sip of his drink as he thought, “twenty years or so, it’s been a long time.”

“And you just play in bars?”

“What? No. We travel and stuff too. The bar scene is just fun to do once in awhile for the local fans.”

“Really?”

“You do realize that we’ve made six albums, right? It kind of requires some traveling and we’ve gather a pretty decent fan base. We’re working on a new album right now actually.”

“No way,” you replied, honestly impressed, “I had no idea. So, I guess you weren’t lying when you said that music is literally your job?”

“That’s all I do.”

“Sounds exciting.”

“I love it. There’s no other feeling in the world better than that rush I get when I’m up on stage. Well, there might be one other feeling better than that.”

“What? That feeling you get when you hook up with groupies?” You teased.

“No. I don’t do that. You forget that I was in a relationship not too long ago.”

“Yeah, the first time you played at the bar, you had that girl with you.”

“My ex, yes,” he replied, scowling at the mention of her.

“Touchy subject?”

“Sort of, that one kind of hurt.”

“So what do you do; drink every night, hook up with random women now to get over her?”

“No. Maybe the drinking part, not the hooking up part. Although, I don’t doubt that you could make me forget all about her.”

“I would ruin you,” you said, a grin creeping up on your lips at the idea of just how much you wanted to ruin him..

“I think I need to judge that for myself.”

“You’re insane.”

“So, bartender, tell me something about you. Tell me about your boyfriend. What’s the story there?”

“There is no story.”

“Oh, there’s a story,” he insisted, “If there wasn’t, then why are you here?”

“Because you invited me in.”

“What were you expecting out of tonight?”

“I don’t know. Deep conversation? Maybe a game of Scrabble?”

“Sex?” He asked blatantly.

You felt your face flush at the word, knowing damn well that this is what you wanted.

“Honestly?” You began, feeling brave suddenly, “Yes.”

He put down his glass, moving toward you now. When he reached you, his hands were at your waist again, pulling you in so that he could kiss along your neck. You closed your eyes, allowing yourself to get lost in how good he was making you feel already.

“I think the story is that he’s not good to you, and you just want to feel good.”

You nodded as he continued to tease you.

“I can make you feel good,” he promised, “do you want that?”

Still unable to form words, you nodded again, realizing that you were giving him the green light to take this further. Again, your conscience told you no, but every other part of you was saying otherwise. You wanted him though, and no self-doubt or sense of guilt was going to change your mind now.

“We can take this somewhere more comfortable,” he said as he pulled away from you. You whined at the loss of his mouth on you. He took your hand and led you to his bedroom where he immediately pounced on you. You couldn’t remember the last time you had ever felt like this with anyone. You let him kiss you, touch you, you let him pull your clothing off in an almost desperate frenzy. You in turn, went immediately for his jeans; undoing his belt and working at the button and zipper. You reached into his jeans, palming at his cock which caused him to suck in a breath at the contact.

“You’re full of surprises too,” he groaned against your mouth.

“What did you expect?” You asked as you stroked him. He whimpered now, pushing himself against your hand.

“I expected you to be a little shy, the complete opposite of how you are at work.”

“It’s not all an act.”

You removed your hand from him, pulling at his jeans and boxers as he helped you remove them finally. You let him finish taking them off and went for his shirt, pulling it up and off of him. Your breath caught at the sight of him. You knew he was an attractive man, but seeing him like this was something new. He was beautiful and you suddenly felt inferior.

“You’re gorgeous,” he muttered. Again, it was as if he could read your thoughts. Any insecurity or doubt that you had, he seemed to be able to push those thoughts from your mind almost as soon as they showed up.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied.

He was now leading you to the bed, walking you backwards as he kissed you softly; hands still everywhere. He instantly went for the usual, pressing you down onto the bed as he moved on top of you. Your heart was racing, your breathing frantic, entire body buzzing with excitement. You enjoyed the weight of him on you and you laid there as he took his time kissing you. While you were enjoying yourself, you realized that you hated the idea of being submissive, especially with him; especially when you had spent so much time dreaming about what it would be like to dominate him.

Feeling brave, you pushed him off of you, letting him fall over onto his back on the bed when you quickly moved to straddle him. It caught him by surprise and he watched you now, eyes wide as you worked your hips against him, teasing him.

He groaned, letting his head fall back.

“Surprise,” you said softly as you reached for his cock, lining it up with you before easing yourself down on him. You gasped as you did so, a bit surprised yourself at how he filled you up. You paused for a moment, letting yourself adjust to his size until you decided you couldn’t wait any longer. You slowly began to rock your hips against him, hands already clutching at his chest. You moaned at how good he felt inside of you, now moving your hips just a bit faster. You could hear him gasping and groaning as you rode him and you smiled at his sounds.

You only assumed the man talked a big game, and based on his shitty attempts at picking women up in the bar, you weren’t prepared for this. You really thought you’d be on control. However, you understood that you were wrong when you realized that he was now gripping your thighs, controlling your rhythm. You were coming apart fast, almost lost in how amazing you felt. You didn’t even notice the exact moment when he took control.

You noticed it now. While you had him in a submissive position, you were definitely not in control anymore. You were now whimpering and gasping each time he pulled you down on him while he in turn thrust into you.

At this point, you had given up trying to reclaim control of the situation. You basically stopped moving, allowing him to guide you. When he realized you had given up your position of power, he rolled you onto your back, not once losing contact with you. He kissed you, letting his tongue tease yours as he pulled your legs up to wrap around him. Once he had you how he wanted you, he began to thrust into you harder, deeper. The sounds of his own moans were all but muted by yours. Now that he was able to fill you completely, you didn’t hold back in letting him know how amazing he felt.

You could hear him muttering praises against your neck as he bit and licked at your skin. The sensation made the heat in your belly grow faster and you knew that he was going to make you cum soon.

You tried to stifle your sounds, biting your lip until you were sure that you could taste blood. You didn’t want him to know how good he was, because you knew you’d never hear the end of it.

It wasn’t until he leaned in to whisper in your ear, that you let it all out.

“Let me hear you, baby.”

That was it. That was all it took for him to tip you over the edge. The climax that had been building finally broke. You grasped onto him, throwing your head back as you came.

“Oh, fuck! Yes, Rob,” you called out. You were already muttering his name repeatedly as your release came, which was embarrassing for you as you thought you still had a chance to take control. You arched against him, desperate to feel him deeper as you moved your hips against him. You were still in the throes of your own release, chasing that high when you felt his own release crash down. His body stuttered against yours, slick with sweat as he continued to fuck into you. He cursed against your neck, and you were sure you heard him mumble “bartender" at one point.

When neither of you could move anymore, he pulled himself out of you, rolling over to lie next to you as you both struggled to catch your breath.

“So,” he panted, “do I get your name now?”

You chuckled at him, finding it adorable that he was so persistent about it.

“Does my name really matter?”

“Do you want me to call you bartender every time we fuck?”

“Oh, you think this will happen again?”

“I hope so. You were fucking amazing.”

“I’m sure you tell that to all the girls.”

“Like I said, I only have one favorite bartender, and I’m very loyal to her.”

You turned to face him, unsure of where exactly he was going with all of this.

“Why do you have to know?”

“I just do.”

You stayed quiet for a moment, now deciding whether or not you should indulge him. It was your number one rule; not telling customers your real name. Every rule that you had already broken with Rob had been in place because at some point, you had let things happen that caused someone to get to know too much about you. You had put yourself in a dangerous spot in the past, all because you trusted too easily. For some reason, Rob didn’t make you uneasy. You actually had grown to trust him, obviously since you had just slept with the man.

“My name is Y/N,” you whispered finally. You felt your heartbeat quicken again, this time because you had decided to tell him your name without really knowing why you wanted to. All of this could be nothing more than just sex. You were in a relationship, now cheating on your boyfriend, and in the end; your name didn’t matter. He didn’t need to know your name, but you wanted him to know.

“Y/N…” He repeated, letting your name slide effortlessly off his tongue. The sound of it coming from him was exciting. You liked that he finally knew.

“Yes, and that’s not a lie.”

“How many rules do you have left?” He asked. “Because I’m in the mood to break all of them.”

“I knew you’d be trouble,” you said.

“I could say the same about you.”

“How does it feel to know my true identity? Is it all that you’d hoped it would be?”

“Honestly, this feels less exciting now. I should’ve just stuck to calling you bartender.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Yeah, but I think you kinda like it.”

“Hmm, apparently I’m attracted to jerks,” you joked.

“Rude, I’ve been nothing but nice to you.”

He reached over to you, wrapping an arm around you as he leaned in to kiss you lazily. You parted your lips for him, basking in the feeling of his tongue against yours. While you knew this was a possibly a one-night stand, maybe a fuck buddy situation; you couldn’t help but feel comfortable with him. You hadn’t been kissed like this in a long time, hell, you hadn’t been fucked like that ever; but you weren’t stupid. You knew exactly what this was. You were sure Rob felt the same way. His whole goal from the moment he met you was to get you to go home with him. He had succeeded in that, and you knew that he had you just where he wanted you.

It wasn’t until he had fallen asleep later; your mind still racing with thoughts about what had happened, what this meant for your relationships, and how you had managed to let this man in on your name; that you quietly moved out from under his arm that was draped over you. He was a heavy sleeper and didn’t even stir as you slipped out of his bed. You dressed quickly, finding your keys as you headed for the door.

He never said you couldn’t stay the night, but even you understood how this worked. You had come to terms with the idea of just being a bartender that he occasionally slept with. You never wanted to be that girl, but you had already went down that path, unsure if you could even stop yourself at this point.

The one thing that you couldn’t come to terms with just yet was the fact that you were now a cheating girlfriend. That part was a bit harder to accept.

So, you left his house, knowing that it didn’t matter to Rob if you stayed or left. The only thing that did matter was that you at least went home to Tyler; regardless of whether he was waiting there for you or not.


	6. Another Thing I Shouldn't Be Doing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your boyfriend might have an idea that something is going on, but you’re not willing to give up on Rob just yet.

The last thing you wanted when you returned home after your night with Rob was to run into your boyfriend.

You drove home after having snuck out of Rob’s place, knowing full well he never actually meant for you to stay the night anyway. When you got home, you noticed Tyler’s car was there; so you quietly opened the door, trying to close it just as quietly behind you when you got inside. You carefully placed your shoes, that you had hurriedly just picked up and walked out barefoot, next to the door before discarding your bag on a table. When you turned around to face the living room, your heart nearly stopped upon seeing Tyler sitting on the couch; the early morning sunlight coming in through the blinds, barely illuminating him as he watched you.

“Oh God!” you shouted in surprise, “Tyler… I thought you’d be asleep, I was trying to be quiet.”

“Yeah, it’s like 4 in the morning, I should be asleep,” he said, “I thought you’d be asleep too.”

“It was just a late night,” you replied, still standing there and unsure of what to do.

Tyler stood up, moving toward you and you felt your heart continue to beat wildly. You were a mess; you thought for certain that if he got too close, he would know what had happened.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he began, now standing directly in front of you with his hands on your hips. He leaned in to kiss you, to which you quickly turned your head to stop him.

“I’ve been up all night, I’m sure I have horrible morning breath,” you said, trying to convince him to back off.

He studied you briefly, looking you up and down and almost certainly taking note the state that you were in. You had seen yourself as you had left Rob’s house. Your hair messed up, makeup smudged, marks on your neck from where Rob had bit you that you tried to cover with your hair. You smelled like whiskey, sweat, and sex; and you were sure that Tyler could tell.

You glanced up at him, trying to figure out what he was thinking right now; and based in his expression, he knew exactly what you had been up to.

“Where were you all night?” He asked.

“At the bar, we had to stay open late for a band,” you lied.

“Do you always come home like this after working?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you look like you had a really good night,” he ran a hand against your neck just then, moving your hair back and stopping to look at the marks. “Let me guess, you got yourself with your curling iron?”

“It’s nothing,” you said, “if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to shower and get some sleep.” You pushed his hand away, walking past him toward your bedroom. Your heart was still racing and you suddenly felt that nagging guilt that you had pushed down begin to build up again.

“Fine,” he called after you, “I’m on my way out anyway. Might do you some good to not bother asking what I’m up to then.”

“I never do,” you reminded him, “I don’t want to know.”

“Hey, Y/N…” You turned to face him, uncomfortable by his tone now. “If I find out who he is… I mean; when I find out who he is, I’ll kick his ass.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Whoever it is that you’re sleeping with, I’ll find out.”

“You’re insane, I’m not-”

“I’m not an idiot,” he cut you off, “I can smell him on you.”

You held your breath; unsure how he was going to react to his realization. He wasn’t necessarily a violent man; in fact, he was never really around to have a moment to be angry with you for any reason. You thought you should argue with him, convince him that nothing had happened; but you thought better of it. He may be kind of the worst boyfriend in the world, but he was not an idiot.

“I thought we decided to not ask each other about the things that we do,” you reminded him. It had been an agreement a couple of years ago. You had started to nag him when you got tired of him constantly being out, never at home with you. He never told you were he was going to be, who he was with, what he was doing; however, he expected all of that from you. It wasn’t much to worry about on your part, you never went anywhere; you worked all the time and usually only spent time outside of work with Bri. You mostly figured it wasn’t worth the fight with Tyler of asking where you were and who you were with all the time if you just kept to having no friends and no life. You had changed a lot during the past few years, but Tyler never really did. Even though you chose to keep yourself out of trouble, he did not. He was gone all the time. You learned pretty quickly to not bother asking questions. Eventually, you both decided against prying in each others lives; although you noticed quickly that even this was one sided. He was allowed to do as he pleased, but he definitely always had questions for you.

“I think we both know that that doesn’t apply to you,” he argued, “especially when I know something is going on.”

“Maybe I think something is going on with you as well,” you spat, annoyed now that he was allowed to question you but you couldn’t do the same.

“What I do isn’t your business,” he said calmly, “but you, you are mine. I know what you’ve been up to and I suggest you stop before I have to intervene.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“Of course not,” he chuckled, “have I ever hurt you? Come on, I’m not that guy. But I will make his life hell when I find out who he is.”

You watched him as he headed for the door, a smirk on his face as if he were pleased with himself.

“Where are you going?” You shouted after him. “Why won’t you tell me where you’re going? You’re so worried about what I do, well, I want to know what you’re doing.”

“Don’t push it, Y/N,” he replied, “just don’t do anything else stupid.”

With that, he walked out, letting the door slam behind him.

* * *

You showered after Tyler left, letting the warm water relax your muscles that had tensed up during your conversation. It was unusual for you and Tyler to ever yell at each other. You rarely even communicated in general. You had thought for a moment that you might have gotten away with everything, but for some reason, he had actually been home when you came stumbling in. Now that, that was unusual. The entire conversation was unusual.

You were not stupid; you knew damn well that the reason Tyler was hardly around was because he was sleeping with someone else. The few times that he had been home, you of course had sneakily read some of his text messages, saw his call history, and had definitely witnessed him walk into the house in a similar state as you did this morning. You knew not to question him, mostly because you had gotten to a point where you didn’t even care anymore.

The only thing that had you pissed off was the fact that he was calling you out for doing the same thing that he had been doing for years.

* * *

You didn’t see Rob for over a week. You half expected him to find his way to the bar at some point; possibly going right back into trying to take you home mode. But as the weekend rolled through, not even any of the other guys showed up. You felt used. You knew that his whole purpose was to talk you into sleeping with him, and he had done just that. You just didn’t expect for it to be a one-night stand and for him to completely disappear. A part of you wanted him to stroll through those doors; sweet talk you some more and convince you to go with him again. You admit that you had a great time with him. You had almost forgotten how good it felt to have someone show interest in you, kiss you, call you beautiful. The sex was just a plus. Now, you were convinced that he had used you and would go out of his way to avoid you.

It had been nearly two weeks since that night when Briana clued you in that Rob’s band was playing at the bar again. You hadn’t felt this nervous in a long time. You knew you always worked on performance nights, but you weren’t sure how Rob would treat you, or if he would even acknowledge you.

“What the hell happened between the two of you?” Bri had asked, you were at lunch together and you were a nervous mess as it was since Tyler had went out of his way to call you to see where you were and even insisted on talking to Bri to make sure you weren’t lying.

“Me and who?”

“You and Tyler,” she said, “why the hell did he need to talk to me?”

“He’s convinced that I’m cheating on him, so he thinks it’s necessary to make sure I’m telling the truth about where I am at all times.”

“What?” Briana asked, dumbfounded by your explanation. “Is he fucking psycho? Wait, don’t answer that… he is fucking psycho.”

“Maybe he’s not that crazy…” you mumbled as you poked at your food.

“Did you sleep with the singer?” Bri asked, leaning in closer to you, a grin forming on her lips.

“I did,” you answered her truthfully, “and Tyler knew. Like, I couldn’t even try to lie. He just knew.”

“Holy shit, I didn’t think you’d have it in you,” she said proudly, “you are a badass.”

“Yeah, a total badass,” you huffed sarcastically, “now I’ve got a boyfriend who won’t stop checking on me and a one-night stand under my belt.”

“You gonna see him again?”

“Bri, I slept with him and haven’t heard from him in weeks. When his band plays at the bar, it will literally be the first time I’ll have seen him since.”

“You didn’t exchange numbers?”

“I’m not a complete idiot,” you reminded her, “it was just sex. I was just sort of hoping it could’ve happened more than once.”

“Maybe he’s thinking the same thing.”

“He also knows where I work, he used to bug me there all the time. If he had wanted me again, he would’ve tracked me down.”

“I don’t know,” Bri said, “maybe he’s busy doing band stuff.”

“Or maybe he’s busy with a new favorite bartender.”

“Whatever. He’s into you, I can tell.”

“Then he would have come to see me.”

“Maybe you scared him off with all the secrecy.”

“Bri, I told him my name,” you said. Bri looked at you, wide eyed as she tried to take in what you had just told her.

“You did not!” She shouted, still shocked. “All these years, you have never… why did you… what?”

“I don’t know,” you replied, “we slept together and he asked for my name again, and I just gave it to him. Like… I don’t do that, Bri. Why did I do that?”

“You like him,” she said simply, still amazed.

“I like the way he looks, and I like flirting with him. Plus, he’s really good in bed. But I don’t like- like him, not like that. I just liked the attention.”

“I can’t tell if I’m disappointed that you caved, or if I’m proud that you nailed him. I’ll go with proud, because he’s hot and you deserve to be fucked by someone who knows how to fuck.”

“Really? Can you watch the language? We’re in public.”

“First of all, I fucking hate Tyler; I hate him more now that he’s basically stalking you. Secondly, you better get back on Rob when they play again because you need to keep getting fucked until you are finally done with that fucker, Tyler.”

“Jesus, Bri,” you muttered, blushing as you watched other customers glare over at the two of you, “tone it down please. He’s not stalking me, you can’t be stalked by someone you’re dating.”

“Wrong,” she said firmly, “how is it okay for him to check in on you at all times, but you can’t know what he’s doing? He’s fucking psycho and you don’t deserve that. Say the word and I will destroy him.”

“Okay, okay, just calm down please,” you chuckled, grabbing her hand to try to calm her. “It doesn’t matter. Rob hasn’t tried to contact me in weeks. I think he got what he wanted and moved on. I should’ve known what it was, I did know what it was. It just kinda sucks that I’m not gonna have all that attention anymore.”

“I will kick his ass too if you want,” Briana offered seriously, “I mean, I’m tired of men treating my girl like shit.”

“How did I end up with such a fabulous best friend?” You asked, leaning back in your chair as you smiled at her.

“Because you’re awesome and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you said, “but don’t beat anyone up. It was a one-night stand; we both knew what it was. I was just an idiot about it. I never should have given him my name.”

“I still can’t wrap my head around why you did that.”

“The sex was just really good,” you replied with a smile.

“He fucked the sanity right out of you,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, something like that.” The two of you laughed together, going back to finishing your meals in silence. The conversation had been sort of heavy, despite your jokes and Briana’s vulgar language. It was just how the two of you communicated. You knew that she worried about you and you knew that she was concerned about the way Tyler was acting. She wouldn’t say it again, but you knew her concern was mostly in the fact that Tyler might be stalking you. You didn’t really see it that way, you just brushed it off as having a jealous boyfriend.

You wanted to listen to Bri, wanted to acknowledge the fact that Tyler wasn’t acting right and that he hadn’t been for a long time. Briana had been there with you during the whole problem that you had had with a customer who became a little too attached. Now that, that was what you thought of when you thought of a stalker. That was back when you hadn’t even considered using a fake name. Now, Bri was insisting that Tyler was behaving the same way, and maybe a part of you agreed. However, you had been in a relationship with him for years and never felt unsafe; you were mostly annoyed now that he insisted on calling you constantly because he never really used to care what you were doing. Maybe he was acting a bit crazy, but didn’t he have the right to act this way since you had in fact cheated on him? You still couldn’t help but wonder why you felt the need to protect him when he was out doing the same thing with no consequences.

* * *

On Friday night, Rob and the band showed up at the bar just as expected. You hoped that he might go out of his way to say hi to you, maybe flirt a little; but he walked through without so much as glancing your way. He followed the other guys directly to the stage to set up. You watched them, sort of hurt that he hadn’t even acknowledged you. You thought you had both had a lot of fun, and you hoped that you could continue to have fun; but he acted as if you didn’t even exist.

You spent the next hour or so working; making drinks for customers and trying to listen to the band perform.

“Hey there, bartender,” you heard someone call to you. You turned around to face Jason, smiling ear to ear upon seeing him.

“Hey Jason!” you called out, heading toward him as you grabbed his usual from the cooler. You opened the beer and handed it over to him as you leaned against the counter. “I missed you guys, haven’t seen you around in weeks.”

“Yeah, the guys did a little east coast tour last weekend,” he explained, “I always get to tag along.”

“What? You guys were across the country?”

“Yeah, just did a few shows over there.”

“That’s… that’s great,” you chuckled, now kicking yourself over how upset you had been that they, and by they you meant Rob, hadn’t come by to see you in weeks.

“Yeah, it was really good,” he continued, “these guys are something else.”

“They really are,” you replied, leaning to look over Jason’s shoulder at the band.

“Hey, I’m gonna sing with them on the next song,” he said as he moved away from the bar, “we’ll catch up after the show?”

“I’ll be here,” you smiled.

* * *

Once the show had ended, you were alone with the band again, sort of nervous over facing Rob. After all, you had slept with the man and hadn’t seen him since. You weren’t sure if you should act normal with him, or if he would even act normal with you. The band sat at a table, prompting you to leave the bar to go over and get their order. They ordered some drinks, Rob not even looking at you as you stood there. You felt your stomach drop when you realized that he was actively avoiding you, and you didn’t know why.

You did your job, bringing them the drinks that they had ordered and returned to your place behind the bar. You waited for them for a long time, occasionally bringing them more drinks, but mostly standing behind the bar alone; feeling really out of place. You knew that sleeping with a customer would be a bad idea, you just didn’t realize it would make things so awkward. You tried to busy yourself with cleaning, trying to push the thoughts out of your head. Just when you thought you had focused on something other than thoughts of Rob and why he was acting so strangely, you glanced up to see him standing at the bar in front of you.

“H-hey,” you stuttered.

“Hey bartender,” he said with a small smile, “I was just wondering if I could get the tab.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” you said, moving to the cash register to print the bill out for him. You approached him, holding the ticket out to him. He didn’t take it, instead he handed you his card to run, which you did without question. You placed the ticket in front of him for him to sign, handing him a pen. When he reached for the pen, he brushed your hand with his, causing you to blush out of embarrassment. He must have noticed how uncomfortable you were.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he signed the paper, passing it back to you.

“I’m fine,” you said, “are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You didn’t say hi when you came in, like you usually do,” you said nervously.

“I didn’t know I was supposed to.”

“You don’t have to, you just- you usually do.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to stay away from you, because that seems to be what you want.” You looked at him, sort of surprised that he was thinking this.

“What are you talking about?”

“Really?” He asked. His voice rose, now looking upset with you. “We slept together, and you fucking disappeared in the middle of the night. If that doesn’t scream ‘leave me alone’ then I don’t know what does.”

“What are you talking about? You wanted to sleep with me, and I gave in. I know what that was, I’m not an idiot.”

“What?”

“A one-night stand,” you explained, “I know how they work.”

“I’ve literally been hitting on you for months,” Rob argued, looking slightly annoyed, “and I finally got you into my bed only to have you sneak out… no goodbye… no ‘thanks for the lay’… no phone number… nothing.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you said, now confused. “You could have come in to see me.”

“No, because I was touring,” he argued.

“I know, Jason told me.”

“Besides, I assumed you got what you wanted and you probably didn’t want to see me again. Why else would you have snuck out?”

“I just- I just thought that’s what I was supposed to do given the situation.”

“There’s no situation. I wanted you, and I thought you felt the same way.” You could feel his eyes burn into you, his tone rising as if he were upset that his one-night stand had ran out on him.

“You know I have a boyfriend,” you reminded him.

“Then why are you so worried that I didn’t come see you?”

“Because…” you trailed off, wondering if you should be honest with him, “I thought it could have been more than just a one time thing.”

Rob raised a brow at you, mouth turning up at one corner, looking intrigued by your offer.

“Really?” he asked, “So, what? Like a fuck buddy kind of thing?”

You shrugged, “Hey, I had a really good time. I haven’t felt like that in a while.”

“It was really good, wasn’t it?”

“I think I just assumed I was supposed to leave, I don’t really know how to handle sleeping with someone like this. I’m sorry. But, I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, eyeing you hungrily now, “I’ve been thinking about you too. I was mostly pissed off that you ran out, but it’s hard to stay mad at you.”

“This can only be sex,” you explained, excited over the thought of being able to be with him again, “I’ve got a boyfriend who knows I already cheated on him, I can’t give him a reason to think it’s still going on.”

“You know,” Rob said, “we could have a whole lot more fun if you ditched the guy.”

“I can’t do that,” you replied.

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s bad enough I cheated on him, I can’t imagine breaking his heart as well.” It was all bullshit. In fact, you had wanted to leave Tyler plenty of times. Mostly, the relationship had grown stale and you were often bored since he was never around. The only problem was that he wouldn’t let you leave. You suddenly recalled how Tyler had mentioned that he would find out who you were fooling around with, even threatened whoever it was. You decided against telling Rob this. You were sure you could sneak around without Tyler being the wiser. It was your profession to lie and to do it well. Getting caught after your first night with Rob had been a fluke. You knew you could do better at hiding what you were doing.

“Fine,” Rob said, shaking his head, “we’ll sneak around. It kinda sounds exciting anyway.”

He leaned across the bar, you did the same until you both met halfway. He placed his mouth against your ear, whispering quietly.

“I finally get you call you by your real name when I fuck you,” he said. You could feel him grin against you, and you heartbeat quickened as you felt the excitement within you grow. He pulled way, returning to his place as he watched your reaction. You only nodded breathlessly, suddenly aching for him now.

“I’d like that,” you said softly.

“Good,” he replied, turning very dominant very easily, “I’m taking you home with me tonight. I imagine you’re available.”

You nodded again, wanting to return his sense of control with your own brand of assertiveness. You were surprised that after all this time; after your ability to match him in this power play that the two of you engaged in, you were now speechless. But, he had just went from pissed off, scorned lover; to the sexy, dominant man that you honestly couldn’t get enough of.

“I’ll come for you when we’re ready to leave,” he stated, moving from the bar to return to his table. You stood there, still breathless and still really turned on. Thankfully, you knew Tyler was across town tonight; he had already told you that he wouldn’t be home, and you had already told him that you would be at the bar really late. At least you knew you could get away with tonight and avoid questions, you were already busy making up excuses for anything that Tyler might bring up.


	7. This Ain't No Drunk Dial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader carries on her affair with Rob. Now, she can’t help but wonder if the man needs to be reminded how all of this is supposed to work.

You and Rob managed to keep seeing each other despite having been under the watchful eye of Tyler. It was a strange feeling to suddenly have him show any interest in you at all, and the idea of sneaking around with Rob behind his back was exciting for you. It wasn’t that you wanted to be unfaithful; it was more so that you wanted that excitement in your life since you knew Tyler was anything but faithful, and you found it difficult to leave him.

On one hand, being with Rob was intoxicating. He was unlike anyone you had ever met before. Every glance, every touch, every kiss; caused lightning to course through you. He was sexy and treated you as if you were almost too good for him. 

When you were with him; he certainly paid attention to making sure that you felt good. Maybe it was all the praises he offered you, the way his hands explored every inch of your body, or the way his mouth admired your skin; whatever it was, you couldn’t get enough of him. That’s not to say that you didn’t try to please him as well. More than anything, you enjoyed the way he looked at you when you got him off, assuring you that you had done well.

You managed to keep your affair mostly quiet. Of course, Briana knew most details; and she made it a point to repeatedly tell you to leave Tyler to be with Rob. It was something you laughed about often with her. She was right, she probably hated Tyler more than you did, not that what you felt toward him was really hate. It was more of a boredom really. At the same time, you did care for him, despite how fucked up the two of you were. You also didn’t want to think about the idea of starting another relationship. It was almost painful for you to consider leaving the man that you had been with for all these years for a guy that you met at a bar who just happened to be a good lay. You were fairly comfortable with Tyler; at least, you were used to him and your situation. Rob was someone that you didn’t know much about aside from the few deep conversations you might have had while he was drunk on a bar stool and trying to hit on you. You knew that he was a musician, which in itself was a turn on; you knew his friends and his drink of choice. But you knew little else about him. The man had managed to gradually break you from your own shell; learning that you had a boyfriend, and being very spot on about how unfulfilling it was, and eventually he had gotten you to give up your real name. That was about as much as either of you knew about each other. Honestly, you liked it that way. Sex without the commitment, something that was a first for you.

Tonight, Rob had very discreetly sent you a text; much to your dismay, asking you to come over. That had been another thing you had always been very careful about; giving out your number. You just didn’t do it. You quickly learned that it was a bit difficult to plan on nights to see each other when neither of you knew the other’s phone number. You had hesitantly let him add his info to your contact list, changing his name later on when you noticed that he had added himself as “fuck buddy.” While it made you smile, you knew it wasn’t smart when Tyler already knew that there was someone else. You simply changed his name to something less obvious and noticeable to avoid getting caught. At least Rob had managed to keep the text exchanges somewhat clean, not giving away too much as to what you were really discussing.

You hated to admit it, but when the man messaged you about hooking up, you were running right to him when possible. Tonight, you expected to show up at his place, get right to your business and leave to head home before Tyler got there.

* * *

Surprisingly, Rob didn’t pounce on you the minute you walked in the door. Instead, he led you to the kitchen, and prompted you to sit at the table. You could immediately smell the aroma of something cooking, glancing around to notice that the man might have more in mind for this evening.

“What is this?” You asked, nodding to the table that was already set.

“I made dinner. You do eat right?”

“Yeah, just not when you ask me to come over. Usually it’s a few shots of liquid courage and straight to what you called me for.”

“Well, I figured we could have an actual meal together. Maybe talk a bit.”

“Hmm, honestly, I just came over to get laid,” you said suggestively.

“I made lasagna, I remember you mentioned once that you like lasagna.” He all but ignored your flirtation, focused instead on taking dinner out of the oven.

“Did I?”

“Yeah, so I figured I’d cook it for you.”

“I didn’t realize you could cook,” you said as you rested your chin in your palm, leaning against the table to admire how attractive he looked right now.

“There’s a lot that you don’t know about me.” He glanced up at you with a half-grin.

“You know, I actually kinda like it that way.”

Rob scoffed at you, “Are you gonna eat or not?”

“Yes,” you chuckled, “I actually really do love lasagna. Only if you made it right.”

“Well, I am an excellent cook.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” you replied as he set a plate down in front of you. You watched him intently as he moved about the kitchen; now retrieving wine glasses and a bottle of wine.

“Oh wow, I get wine tonight? What happened to the Jack?”

“I’m not trying to get you drunk,” he chuckled as he popped the cork on the wine, “just trying to have a nice night with a beautiful woman.”

“What is that?” You asked, eyeing the wine now as he poured.

“I have no idea,” he replied, “it’s red whatever it is.”

“Well, good choice. I mean it should go well with dinner.”

“I really don’t know, I don’t drink wine,” he admitted as he overfilled the glasses, “Do you even like wine?”

“I mean, I understand wine; but I’m a beer girl. Although, I enjoy a glass on a special occasion.”

“Hmm, so this is unusual for both of us then.”

“Yeah. Why you decided to wine and dine me, I’ll never understand.”

“Shut up and eat,” he replied, smirking at you now.

You ate your meal, impressed that it was actually really good. Rob didn’t lie, he was an excellent cook. You both sat and drank wine, your face already tingling after your third glass.

You listened to him as he rambled on about his sister and her kids; sort of uncomfortable that you now knew their names and that he was even indulging you with stories about them.

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked suddenly, trying to get out of the uncomfortable situation.

“I was just making conversation.”

“Yeah, but family stuff is a little personal.”

“Right, and you want to be as impersonal as possible,” he replied, almost as if he were just reminding himself.

“I think that’s what we agreed on.”

“You’re right,” he said. You couldn’t help but take note that he looked a bit hurt by this. He avoided your gaze, now seeming embarrassed that he had even brought any of it up to begin with.

“Why don’t we talk about something else?” You offered. You didn’t want the man to feel embarrassed, so you attempted to shift the conversation elsewhere, as long as you could avoid any more personal stuff.

“Why do you stay in a relationship with someone that you obviously don’t love?” He asked suddenly, looking directly at you now.

“You know nothing about my relationship,” you reminded him.

“I know enough to know that you’re sleeping with someone else, if that’s not the sign of a shitty relationship, tell me what is.”

You studied him, wondering where all of this was coming from. Ever since you had both decided on keeping this ‘thing’ strictly physical, he hadn’t brought up your relationship. You figured he had reserved that for the time before your first fling, not daring to mention it again now that you both understood what this was.

“I’m not here for relationship advice. You and I are fooling around. It’s fun. If he can do it, why can’t I?”

“Yeah, but what’s the point?” He asked. “I’m just saying, this could be way more fun if you were single.”

“Nothing would change,” you pointed out.

“So, you’re saying we’d still be fuck buddies if you were single.”

“Is that a problem?”

“No,” he said softly, “I enjoy our arrangement.”

“No strings, no commitment… just two people who have amazing sex together.”

“Yeah,” he said, trailing off, lost in thought, “it is pretty ideal, isn’t it?”

“Speaking of,” you purred. You stood up, moving toward him. He leaned back in his chair and you took the opportunity to straddle him as he watched you with those blue eyes. You loved the way his breathing picked up when you took control, and lately, you were all about control. You had gotten past your initial feelings of possibly growing to like the man. Now, you realized that you liked the way he made you feel. You didn’t know him well enough to develop stronger feelings, and this was empowering to you. You had spent a lot of time playing the role of a ruthless flirt, a dominant woman; now, you actually got the chance to be that woman. You knew that if this situation were anything different, you would revert back to what you really were. Right now, you really didn’t want that.

You sat on his lap, enjoying the feeling of his rough hands making their way under your shirt so that he could feel your skin. Your breath hitched when he pulled you closer to him, able to feel him against your core.

“Why don’t you give me what I really came here for?” You said, leaning in to kiss his neck.

“I can’t argue with that,” he breathed out. His hands moved down, gripping onto your thighs as he pulled you harder against him. You reached down between the two of you; undoing his pants as you let yourself kiss his lips. You were almost frantic now, working quickly at removing his shirt as he in turn fumbled with your clothes.

“I need you,” you whispered against his mouth, already turned on and the man hadn’t even touched you yet.

“Let’s go to bed.”

You shook your head at him, suddenly aware that the two of you were able to do this without consequence. This meant that you could be as uninhibited and crazy as you wanted to be.

“Take me right here,” you demanded. You watched the smirk spread across his face, hands gripping you tighter as excitement filled his eyes at your request. If nothing else, the man was thoughtful and always willing to give you what you wanted.

* * *

“Just so you know, I’ll be gone next weekend,” Rob said as he began to get dressed. He watched you as you retrieved your own clothing, slipping them on with shaky hands as you waited for your body to come down from the amazing high.

“Okay.”

“We’re playing some shows out of state.”

“Alright.”

“I’m only telling you because the last time I was gone doing shows, you were a little upset.”

“No I wasn’t,” you laughed.

“Well, you were upset that I didn’t talk to you for a couple of weeks.”

“I was upset because we slept together and I wanted to keep doing it, but I thought you used me.”

“Look, I’m just letting you know I’ll be gone. So you don’t get mad again.”

“I don’t care what you do,” you replied, “that’s the whole point of all of this.”

“Okay,” he chuckled, “I was just saying.”

“Rob, you do realize that you don’t have to tell me details about your life, right?”

“I know, I really just thought I should tell you.”

“Can I be clear about something?” You asked. You decided to tread lightly since you really didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He seemed to be sharing a lot more than what you were comfortable with tonight, but you wanted to establish boundaries. “This is not a relationship.”

“I know that,” he replied, looking confused.

“You don’t owe me explanations about anything.”

“I was just trying to be thoughtful.”

“Well stop,” you replied with a grin, “you don’t have to be thoughtful. That’s the beauty of it all.”

“Okay, then I’ll call you when I get back,” he said, “If I feel like it.”

“That’s more like it,” you laughed. You made your way toward him, leaning in for a long and heated kiss. “I’ll see you around.”

“Goodnight bartender,” he replied. You grinned at the nickname that used to annoy you, sort of please with it now, especially since it kept him from using your real name. The fact that he knew your name sort of ruined the excitement of all of this for you, it almost felt too intimate when he said it while you were in bed together. You noticed that he had began to use it less now; probably just as unexcited about the situation now that he had it.

You left his house that night, not once looking back. You wanted to. You wanted to take him in again, memorize every tiny detail about him since you knew you wouldn’t see him for a while; but you forced yourself not to. It wasn’t worth allowing yourself to grow attached, and you had been doing a decent job of avoiding it altogether. As long as he could keep this situation what it was, you were sure you could continue to do the same.

* * *

The following weeks were uneventful mostly. You sat around at home when you weren’t working, still very much alone even though Tyler insisted on keeping tabs on you. Most of the annoyance from him was the way he blew up your phone, asking where you were when you didn’t even have a clue as to where he was. You were growing tired of the whole situation. Never had he ever behaved this way with you before, but then again, you had never cheated on him before. You continued attempting to be an annoyance to him as well; asking who he was with and what he was doing when he did call you. Of course, you never got answers; he didn’t think that these rules applied to him.

You spent most nights alone, not even bothering to leave your apartment since you had no reason to other than to go to work. You even avoided hanging out with Bri since it wasn’t worth it to you to hear Tyler bitch about you being out.

It sort of worked out in your favor when you learned that even though Rob was away, it was still fairly easy to continue your affair over the phone.

Rob had called you late one night and managed to avoid you getting pissed off that he was breaking rules since Tyler wasn’t home anyway. You double checked the room in your daze after just being woken up by your phone ringing, deciding that it was safe to answer.

“Rob?” You mumbled, rubbing your eyes as you tried to adjust them to the light from the lamp that you had turned on.

“Hey bartender,” you heard him slur. You knew immediately that he was drunk, probably just getting in from a night out with the guys.

“Are you going to start calling me in the middle of the night every time you get drunk?”

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, “are you alone?”

“Yeah, it’s okay. It’s just me here.”

“Fuck, I miss you,” he said after a short pause, “I was thinking about you, and I had to hear your voice.”

“Rob, it’s 3 am and you sound wasted.”

“I am kinda drunk, but I’m fine.”

“Where are you?” You asked, cringing at how much you sounded like your own boyfriend right now. You didn’t want to come off as needing to know, you mostly just wanted to know that he was okay.

“I’m in my room, on my bed,” he explained, “wishing you were here.”

“Stop it,” you argued.

“I mean, I’m wishing you were here so you could touch me. It’s not a good idea to go weeks without being with you.”

“You’re fine.”

“I’d be better if you talked to me.”

“About what?”

“Anything,” he moaned suddenly. You perked up then, curious as to what he was doing that sounded so pleasant. “I could get off just by the sound of you breathing.”

“Wait- What?” You asked. Your heart was racing now and you suddenly felt yourself getting really turned on by what he was insinuating. “Are you touching yourself?”

“Maybe?” He replied, voice low.

“You’re not allowed to touch yourself,” you warned him, almost surprised with how assertive you sounded, “that’s my job.”

“Please, I want you.”

“Well, you can’t have me right now. But, I’ll let you cum as long as you’re thinking about me.”

You heard him moan again and your grin widened, excited that you had this effect over him even over the phone. This was an unusual situation. First of all, you had never had phone sex with anyone before; secondly, you had never seen or heard Rob quite like this. Usually, the two of you constantly fought for dominance in whatever little game it was that you were playing. Right now, the man was pretty drunk and practically begging to get off just by the sound of your voice. The thought of it intrigued you and you decided to play along. You lowered your voice, talking to him for a while as you eventually coaxed his release from him; listening as he groaned over the phone, muttering your name as he did so. It wasn’t the same as when the two of you were actually together; but it was definitely new and exciting.

“Thank you baby,” he said finally, his voice low and broken as he tried to regain himself.

“You’re welcome,” you giggled, “now go to sleep. I have a feeling you’re going to regret this in the morning.”

“What could I possibly regret about any of this?”

“You drunk dialed me so you could jack off while on the phone with me,” you said, “it might be cringey when you realize it later.”

“It’s not a drunk dial,” he insisted with a chuckle, “I really do miss you.”

“Okay, it’s time for you to pass out before you say something else you’ll regret.”

You listened to him laugh for a moment before you ended the call, not wanting to say goodbye and not wanting to wait for him to say anything else. You had a feeling that, given his intoxicated state, he may say some things that he might not want to say and things that you didn’t want to hear.

While the phone call had been really hot, you sort of felt bad that he had been so drunk and desperate. You stopped feeling so bad when you realized that the whole thing had mostly left you frustrated as you laid back down in your bed alone. You had been so focused on listening to Rob, trying to imagine how he looked in that moment, you had completely forgotten about yourself. It didn’t really matter now. You looked at the clock, noticing that it was nearly 4 am; the usual time that Tyler stumbled in. You decided against relieving your own frustrations now that you were thinking about Tyler walking through that door at any minute. Besides, you knew that nothing you could do to yourself would ever feel as good as what Rob could do to you.


	8. Nothing Gets Me Drunk Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader has had enough of her boyfriend. She didn’t expect for him to show up at her work, and she certainly didn’t expect Rob to intervene. Actually, there’s a lot about tonight that she wasn’t expecting.

You weren’t even sure when Rob returned from his little tour. Not only were you busy at work, you also chose to ignore most of his phone calls and text messages since Tyler seemed to be hanging around a lot. It was almost uncomfortable at home. Tyler hadn’t been out and about in a few days like he usually was. The last thing you needed was for him to consider going through your phone and you knew the best way to avoid that was to avoid Rob.

Today, you were getting ready for your shift, Tyler hanging back on the bed while you did your makeup in the bathroom. He was watching you, which shouldn’t have felt as uncomfortable as it did. He was your boyfriend after all, but you had come to terms with the fact that the two of you simply didn’t have a normal relationship. If anything, it had become more of a companionship in which neither of you saw each other, but neither of you were going to let the other go for some reason. Him, being home and paying attention to you, was not normal.

“How late are you working?” He asked, his eyes never leaving you.

“Just depends on how busy we are,” you replied, “it’s a Friday night, so it might be a late one.”

“I expect you to be home by two at the latest.”

“Really?” You asked, a hint of sarcasm in your voice, “that’s not going to happen. It’s Friday.”

“Then you’ll call me every hour.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tyler.”

“I’m not being stupid,” he began. He sat up now, legs hanging over the edge of the bed as he leaned over to study you. “I told you that I wasn’t an idiot. I know you’re still seeing whoever it is that you’ve been seeing.”

You felt your heart stop for a moment, immediately regaining yourself so not to give yourself away that easily.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been home with you when I’m not working.”

“For now,” he said, “once I’m out of the house, I know you’re not here.”

“What?” you said with a smile, trying to turn it into a joke now, “you have spies watching me?”

Tyler didn’t reply, he only stared at you harder. You met his eyes, realizing that he was giving you that look to let you know that he knew what you were up to.

“You have people watching me,” you stated. You felt the anger rise up in your chest. You wanted to hit him, wanted to yell at him now that you realized.

“Just some neighbors who let me know when you come and go.”

“You are out of your fucking mind,” you spat. You threw your lipstick onto the counter, leaving the bathroom to stand in front of him.

“Am I?” He asked. “Am I crazy to think that you’re still not messing around?”

“Why does it even matter anymore? You’re always out with that same skank, hardly ever home. Why do you even care what I do?”

“Because you’re mine!” He shouted. It made you jump; Tyler wasn’t the type to yell. All these years you’d been together and he never gave you a reason to be afraid of him. But, right now, him yelling at you and telling you that he had people watching you, it was slightly terrifying. Although he had startled you and had you a bit freaked out, you were not a pushover to that extent. You had never questioned him when you knew what he was doing. You had let it go for so long. This double standard of you not being allowed that same luxury was enough to piss you off.

“You know,” you began, “I don’t like this whole… laying claim to me thing that you’re doing. I’m not yours, I haven’t been for a long time.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, that I’m not doing this anymore. It was fucked up enough when it was just you cheating; it’s a little more fucked up when it’s both of us.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I am,” you replied proudly, “I am going to work right now and tomorrow, I am leaving.”

“No you’re not,” he stated simply, “you’ve got nowhere to go. You think your fuck buddy is gonna take you in? Because I can tell you, that’s all you are to him.”

“We’re not talking about him. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, hell, I’ve been doing just that for a long time.”

“”Hmm,” he hummed. He leaned back, lying on the bed with his hands behind his head, that stupid smirk on his face. “You’ll be back. When you realize he doesn’t want you, you’ll come back.”

“I’ll be back to get my stuff,” you explained, “but that’s about it.”

You grabbed your jacket and purse, and headed for the door. Your heart was racing as you walked out, half expecting him to come after you or yell at you. Based on his behavior lately, you almost felt unsafe with him now. He didn’t come after you though, and you breathed a little easier even though the fact that he didn’t chase you had you even more on edge the more you thought about it. He was being strangely uncaring, which only meant that he was up to something.

* * *

The first couple hours of work were rough. You mostly felt in a daze as you replayed earlier in your mind. You were uncomfortable with your discussion with Tyler and how strangely he had behaved.

“Hello, Lola, are you in there?” You blinked a few times, barely noticing that Briana was waving a hand wildly in front of your face as you were lost in thought.

“Sorry,” you muttered, going back to focusing on the drinks you were supposed to be making.

“What’s going on with you?” She asked. “You have never been this slow and messed up this many orders ever.”

“I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Spill,” she said.

“I think I broke up with Tyler,” you said, questioning whether or not you had done that.

“What?” Briana asked, her eyes growing wide, a huge grin forming on her face. She looked almost giddy at the thought of it.

“I mean, I told him I was done and I was leaving. I said I’d get my stuff tomorrow and be gone.”

“This is amazing!”

“Well, it would be amazing if I actually had a plan… someplace to go…”

“Hello,” she smiled, “I need a roommate.”

“No you don’t,” you chuckled.

“I don’t, but if it’s you and it gets you away from that asshole, I’ve got an extra room.”

“You’re married,” you argued, “I’m sure your husband would love that.”

“I’m just saying, you can stay until you figure shit out.”

“Thanks.” You thought about telling her about the conversation from earlier. You wanted her insight on Tyler’s behavior, the way he said that you basically belonged to him, but you figured there would be a better time to discuss that later. For now, you decided that it would be better to push all of that aside and concentrate on work.

“So, does this mean you’re completely free for the singer?” She asked after a while.

“I haven’t talked to him in awhile,” you said.

“Really? I thought that was getting really hot and heavy.”

“It was,” you sighed, “but I’ve been ignoring him since Tyler was keeping a watchful eye over me for a few days. I haven’t seen him since the band left for their tour.”

“No better time than now to call him back.”

“I don’t know,” you argued, “all of that got me into a lot of trouble, maybe it’s over now too.”

“Seriously? He’s a babe and you are so into him.”

“We were just fooling around.”

“Whatever,” she mumbled, “you keep telling yourself that.”

* * *

You were sort of surprised when Rob wandered into the bar later that night. This time, he was there with all the guys. You worried that he might blow you off again since you had been ignoring him, but he went right to you at the bar, that smile on his face that made your heart beat wildly.

“Bartender,” he said softly as he sat in front of you, the other guys finding seats near him. The guys said hi and immediately turned to carry on their own conversations as Rob stayed focused on you.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite customer,” you purred. You leaned toward him placing your chin in your hand as you looked at him. He looked really good, and you realized that you hadn’t seen him in such a long time. Your mind immediately went to the night that he had called you and you grinned, still sort of embarrassed for the man.

“I had to come see you,” he began as you moved to bring the guys beer, “I needed to vent to my local bartender.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

“So, there’s this girl,” Rob started, watching you very seriously now.

“Ohh, do tell,” you teased as you leaned in toward him again.

“She’s really great and I thought that we really hit it off, but she’s been ignoring my calls and my texts lately.”

“Sounds like a bitch,” you grinned.

“Nah, she’s not a bitch. But, I have to wonder… is she just not that into me anymore?”

“Hmm,” you began, “maybe her boyfriend was keeping tabs on her and she just figured it was better to not give him a reason to believe anything was going on still.”

“He sounds like a dick.”

“Yeah, I think he is,” you said, playing along with the conversation still.

“I just want your advice, because I trust it so much.”

“Shoot.”

“So, I see her tonight,” he stopped briefly, looking you up and down, “and she looks so fucking good, like, I just want to take her right there where she is. It’s been a while, you have to understand.”

“Oh? Is she just a really good lay?”

“She’s amazing. I never stop thinking about her.” You felt yourself blush at his words and the way he looked at you when he said it.

“Sounds like a keeper.”

“Maybe. Except she’s not really mine. But I do get to take her home sometimes.”

“Hmm,” you hummed again, smiling wider at him.

“Anyway, do you think it’s worth it for me to try to take her home with me again, or do you think she’s just not interested anymore?”

“I think…” you said coyly, “I think you’re overthinking it.”

“Am I though?”

“Yeah Rob, you really are,” you replied. You slid into normal conversation mode, now seeing that the man was a bit hurt that you had been blowing him off. “Seriously, my boyfriend has been hanging around a lot. I just didn’t want to give him a reason to be suspicious.”

“Oh, okay,” he said shyly. He picked at the label of his beer, averting his gaze from you almost embarrassed now.

“I didn’t know if you were back yet.”

“You would have known I was back if you at least answered a text.”

“I’m sorry,” you said honestly, wondering what you were even apologizing for. It’s not like you had to check in with him.

“Are you busy after work?” He asked, now looking up to meet your eyes. He smiled warmly, those blue eyes staring into you. You knew he was your weakness, but you still maintained that you couldn’t allow that.

“Are you trying to take me home?”

“If you’ll let me.”

“I don’t know, I mean, we could just talk over the phone…” you trailed off, grinning at your joke. You didn’t want to embarrass him even more, but that whole thing was too good to let go of. You only hoped he would think so too.

“Oh god,” he groaned, placing his face in his hand. You could see his shoulders shake and you hoped he was laughing. When he finally looked back up at you, you could see that he had been laughing, and you breathed a sigh of relief that you hadn’t overstepped. “I was hoping you’d forget about that.”

“How could I forget?” You exclaimed. “That was… really fucking hot and so flattering.”

“I was drunk,” he defended himself, “and I really was missing you.”

“I’m pretty sure one of the rules for, whatever it is that we’ve been doing, is to not ever miss each other.”

“I couldn’t help it, I just wanted you. I figured hearing your voice was the next best thing.”

“Was it?”

“It really was.”

“I’m so fucking turned on right now,” you said quietly so that he would be the only one to hear you.

“I guess I’d better take care of you later.”

“You’d better,” you replied, winking at him as you walked away. There were other customers, and while Briana would have handled it all on her own if it meant you could stand there and flirt with Rob, you wouldn’t do that to her again. Besides, the man was really getting to you; and you knew you needed to walk away before you decided to take him to the back to let him fuck you. Being away from him for this long had been difficult, and seeing him tonight only made you relive all the times you had been with him. You wanted nothing more than to be with him again, but even you knew that you had to wait.

* * *

The rest of the night was going well. You were back into work mode, no longer in a fog over everything that was bothering you. You and Briana took care of a busy bar and you still had time to stop and flirt with Rob occasionally. You couldn’t help but to feel excited that he was going to take you home when the bar closed. It had been too long, and you desperately needed him right now. Your good mood turned sour though when you turned back to the bar after cashing out a customer, only to see Tyler sitting there.

Your heart dropped, your stomach turned, you all but froze when you finally registered that it was, in fact, him. You willed yourself to move, dropping of the ticket for the customer to sign and you glanced over to Bri quickly. Her eyes met yours and you realized that she had seen him too. She gave you a sympathetic look, nodding to let you know that she would go over to him.

It might not have been so nerve-wracking if he hadn’t chose to sit just a seat over from where Rob was still sitting. You very suddenly began to panic. Why? You weren’t really sure. You had basically broken up with Tyler. He wasn’t your concern anymore. But, you wondered why he was here in the first place. Tyler never showed up at your work, ever. This was a first, and given the way that he had talked to you earlier, you were really nervous that he decided to show up now. You let Bri wait on him, and also decided it was best to let her handle Rob for now. Although none of it mattered now, you knew it was best not to let Tyler know who it was that you had been sleeping with.

You watched Bri from the corner of your eye as you helped another customer, curious as to what was going on. When she headed your direction to grab a beer, she leaned in to whisper in your ear.

“He said he wants to talk to you.”

You shook your head; too surprised to speak, maybe to afraid to speak. “I can’t. I’m working. He shouldn’t be here.”

“Want me to get Matt?” She asked.

You shook your head again, grabbing the beer from her that she had just picked up. You didn’t want to go to him, but you knew that if you wanted to avoid a scene, it was best if you just went to hear what he had to say. You walked toward him, carrying the beer, more nervous than you had ever felt with him before.

“What are you doing here?” You hissed as you put the drink down in front of him.

“Hey, you said no boyfriends at your place of work,” he explained, “I’m not your boyfriend anymore, am I?”

“No, you’re not. But you also shouldn’t be here.”

“Hey, I just came to pick up on the bartenders,” he began. His words slurred slightly and you caught on to the fact that he had probably been drinking for a while, “I’ve heard that one of them is easy.” The last sentence was a lot louder than you would have liked.

“Stop it,” you argued.

“What? I just heard that Lola likes to fuck her customers. Well, I’m just a customer,” he glared at you, his words had become even louder. You could feel the stares of the other patrons now, your face turning red out of embarrassment and mostly anger. You wanted to look over at Rob, just to see what he was thinking right now. You decided not to, still not willing to give him away.

“I think it’s time for you to go sir,” you said politely. You reached over, grabbing onto the beer that you had just placed in front of him. He was already wasted, and you wanted to alleviate the situation as much as you could. Before you could move, Tyler reached out as well, gripping onto your arm roughly. You dropped the beer, watching it spill across the bar as his movement startled you. Now, you became afraid. He had a tight grip on you and he looked at you angrily as he pulled you toward him, your waist being pressed against the bar as he continued to pull at you.

“Okay,” you called out, “that’s enough! You need to leave!”

“Come on,” he said, “you let everyone else have a go, why not me?”

“Stop!” You shouted louder now.

You tried shouting loud enough so that Matt could hear you, looking around to see if you could find him. Whenever a customer got too friendly or out of line, these words were all you needed to shout in order for him to come running.

You saw him from across the room; sure enough he was moving quickly toward you as you continued trying to pull away from Tyler. You were afraid, and you wanted out of this situation quickly.

All at once, everything happened. You watched as Matt headed toward you, you saw Briana approaching you from the corner of your eye, and just before anyone got to you, Tylers grip loosened and finally let you go. You turned back to him quickly; now seeing that Rob had moved quicker than anyone else. He had grabbed Tyler, his fists gripped tightly in Tyler’s shirt, pulling him away from you as he backed him up away from the bar. You could only see the look of anger on Rob’s face as he pinned Tyler against the wall. Tyler looked equally pissed off. The two men stared at each other, sizing each other up now.

“She asked you to stop,” You heard Rob growl.

You saw Tyler shove Rob, trying to get him to back off. But, Rob’s grip never loosened and he slammed Tyler back against the wall. You rolled your eyes, heart still racing, knowing exactly what was about to happen.

“Fuck,” you muttered as you headed away from the bar.

“Lola!” Bri called after you, “Just let it go!”

“You know I can’t!” you yelled as you ran toward Rob and Tyler.

Before you could even get to them, Matt had made it there first. Not to mention Jason, Billy, Mike, and Stephen. You couldn’t see much as you stepped behind the crowd that had gathered. All you knew is that you definitely saw punches being thrown and most of the guys had moved in to break it up. It didn’t last long, and the crowd started to dissipate quickly, mostly groaning over the fact that it had been stopped. If there’s one thing that drunk guys love more than drunk women in a bar, it’s a drunken fight.

You eventually made your way to the guys. Jason was holding Rob back and you were still shocked by the look of anger on his face. He had definitely been hit; his lip was bleeding and you could see the faint beginnings of a black eye starting to form. Matt had a hold of Tyler, who honestly looked worse. You figured that Rob had gotten some pretty good shots in and he was having a hard time standing. You assumed that was mostly because he was wasted to begin with.

“Both of you out before I call the police!” Matt shouted. He began to drag Tyler to the door. The guys grabbed a hold of Rob and started for the door as well.

“Wait!” you called out to Matt, “this guy is fine,” you explained, pointing to Rob. “This other jerk grabbed me and he was only helping.”

“Lola, you know how Kim is about fighting in her bar,” Matt argued, “I have to kick them both out. I really don’t want to call the cops tonight.”

“Okay, fine,” you muttered. You glanced at Rob, now feeling bad that he had gotten hurt. You headed back to the bar, giving Bri a look.

“You’re leaving?”

“Is that okay?” you asked. “Matt’s kicking Rob out and he’s hurt, I can’t just ignore that he got hurt by Tyler.”

“Go,” Bri said with a smile, “I got this. Just take care of him.”

“I’m just gonna get him home safely,” you said as she handed you your stuff.

“Sure you are,” she replied.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” you said breathlessly as you put on your jacket, “I still need a place to crash.”

Briana nodded as you rushed for the door.

Once outside, the situation was still a mess. Matt was still holding Tyler back, or, mostly holding him up at this point. Jason and the guys still had Rob. You had foolishly expected what had happened inside to be the end of it. Now, you walked out on the two men yelling at each other and Matt still threatening to call the cops. One of Tyler’s friends you recognized from having met once before had stepped to Tyler’s side. He told Matt that he was going to take him home, “We don’t want any trouble,” the man explained.

“Then get him the fuck out of here now,” Matt said as he angrily headed back for the bar. The man did as he was told, grabbing Tyler to drag him off.

“You always think I’m so stupid,” you heard Tyler say as he was pulled away, “I know who it is now.”

You swallowed hard, knowing that he was well aware of who you had been fucking around with. It doesn’t matter anymore. You told yourself. He’s not your boyfriend anymore.

“What did he mean by that?” Rob asked calmly. The guys had let him go and he swiped the back of his hand against his lip, wincing as he wiped blood away.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You screamed. You didn’t want to get angry. But the whole thing had pissed you off. The fact that there had been a fight that was caused by you had you on edge, mostly because you knew you’d hear about this from Kim soon.

“I was defending your honor,” he replied, looking hurt that you were yelling at him, “he shouldn’t have grabbed you like that.”

“I had it under control!” You said.

“Yeah, that was really controlled,” he began, “that asshole was hurting you.”

“Stuff like that comes with the job,” you explained, “I know how to handle it. What you did is not the way to handle it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, “I was just trying to help.”

“I don’t need your help.” Your eyes darted between the other men who were still standing there, each of them looking really uncomfortable as you yelled at Rob. “Guys, I’ve got this. I’ll make sure he gets home, okay?”

“Sure, bartender,” Billy said carefully, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. Thank you guys for helping to break that up before it got worse.”

“You sure you want to take over?” Stephen asked.

“It’s fine. I’m not done yelling at him.”

“Alright, see you two later then,” Stephen continued. You and Rob watched as the guys left, still standing in front of the bar. You waited until they were gone before you continued.

“What did that guy mean by what he said?” Rob asked again. You sighed heavily before turning your attention back to him.

“That guy,” you began, “was my boyfriend.”

“Shit,” Rob mumbled, “I just got in a fight with your boyfriend? Does he always go around grabbing you like that?”

“No, he doesn’t. And technically, he’s my ex as of earlier today.”

“Really?” Rob raised a brow, flinching as the facial movement sent a wave of pain through his face.

“I guess he’s a little pissed that I dumped him.”

“I’m sorry,” Rob apologized again, “I really didn’t want to cause trouble. I just saw him grab you and you were yelling for him to stop… I just fucking lost it.”

“It’s okay,” you said, “I’m sure I’ll just get a talking to by my boss, hopefully she doesn’t fire my ass since this is not the first time I’ve had assholes assault me at work.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he said softly. You felt yourself smile softly as the way your name sounded on his lips right now. “I’ll just get a cab, I don’t want to bug you anymore.”

“Walk with me,” you said, grabbing his arm to lead him toward your car.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll drive you home. Besides, someone said he was going to take care of me tonight.”

“I did, didn’t I?” He grinned wide, groaning at the pain from moving his lips.

“I bet that feels nice,” you said, pointing to his face, “I’m going to say it was totally worth it.”

“Hey, it was worth it if it meant I was getting you out of a bad situation.”

“Just for the record, he’s never acted like that with me before. He was drunk and angry.”

“And apparently, he knows who I am now,” Rob replied.

“Ah, yes. You’re in trouble,” you joked. You didn’t really take Tyler’s threats seriously. The man talked a big game, but he was pretty harmless. You figured he’d let all his anger out tonight and leave you alone from now own. After all, he really didn’t care about you. This whole thing was mostly about his ego and the idea of someone else moving in on what he thought was his. He had also received quite the beating tonight. You knew that since Rob had kicked his ass pretty good this one time, he was most likely going to avoid running into him again.

“Is he going to track me down all the time now and try to fight me?” Rob asked carefully. He almost looked serious, and honestly, you never knew what Tyler was up to, but you felt that even you weren’t worth this much trouble to him.

“Probably not. You got him worse than he got you. Hopefully you damaged his ego enough that he’ll pretend you don’t exist.”

Rob chuckled, still obviously in pain every time you made him laugh or smile.

“Get in,” you said as you made it to your car, “I’ll take care of you when we get to your place.”

Rob’s eyes widened, “Oh really?”

“Well, maybe after you take care of me.”

* * *

Back at Rob’s place, you headed for the kitchen and began to rummage through his freezer. You couldn’t find any ice, but you returned to him as he had sat down on his couch, now poking at the tender skin just below his eye where a bruise was forming.

“Here,” you said, tossing him a bag of frozen vegetables, “this is all I could find, but it should help.”

He placed the bag over his eye, “Fuck, that really hurts.”

“Well, that’s what you get,” you laughed as you sat next to him. You felt like you should keep some distance between the two of you, but you really wanted to be close to him. You wouldn’t admit it, but you had missed him a lot. Rob removed the bag, setting it down next to him as he turned to you. Before you could protest, he had leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You saw him wince again, but he continued to kiss you. You closed your eyes, letting him continue. You could taste the bitterness on his lips from the cut that he had, but you didn’t care. You tried not to kiss back to hard, no matter how much you wanted to, he was already hurt and you didn’t want to hurt him more.

“You said you’d take care of me,” he muttered as he pulled away.

“I did, but I wasn’t sure if you were up for it.”

“I’m always up for it,” he said, “let me fuck you. It’s been too long.”

He stood up, grabbing your hand as he hurriedly pulled you toward his room. Once you were at the door, he was all over you. He pulled your shirt off of you, letting it fall to the ground and he made quick work of your bra. He then he tugged at your pants, to which you obediently pulled them down, along with your panties, letting them fall to the floor as well. He pressed his mouth hard against yours, letting his tongue move against yours in a heated kiss. It was as if the pain he was in didn’t matter anymore. You helped him undress as he pressed you back onto the bed, immediately moving in between your legs. He kissed you again, moving down to your neck where he sucked and licked at your skin. You moaned, already wet for him and he hadn’t even touched you yet.

Despite everything that had happened to night, you desperately wanted him to fuck you. The entire time he had been gone, all you thought about was how good he made you feel. Right now, all you wanted was for him to get you off.

You bucked your hips against him, encouraging him to finally push himself into you. You sighed as he filled you up, hands reaching around to grip onto his back. He waited a moment, kissing you on the mouth again before he began to move.

It started off almost frantic, the way he thrust into you, the same way the two of you always moved together. With you, there was never time to waste, and you made sure you each got what you wanted, and you did so quickly.

You gasped against his neck as he continued to fuck you, still amazed at how he filled you up and hit all the right spots. You heard him groan as he moved to look at you. The eye contact that he often tried to keep always did make you uncomfortable, and this time was no different. You moved your hands to the back of his head, fisting your hands into his hair as you pulled him toward you to kiss him again. It always was the best way to avoid eye contact.

You really wanted this right now, and you wanted instant release, the same as you always did. You knew Rob always aimed to please, and you were confident that he would give you what you wanted.

This time though, it felt different. You quickly realized that he had changed his pace. He was pressing into you now, slowly and deeply. It was no longer as desperate as it usually was. You turned toward him, trying to figure out what was going on as he continued to move slowly against you. You moaned as his eyes met yours, able to feel him deeper than you ever had before.

“Rob,” you gasped. You were suddenly overcome with how amazing this felt right now. He always felt good, but this, this was different. This time, there was no immediacy in getting off. He was no longer biting your neck, leaving marks for you to have to cover later. His fingers weren’t digging into your hips as he pulled you against him with each thrust. This was a lot more gentle, and a lot less rushed. He let his eyes meet yours again, and no matter how much you wanted to, you found that you couldn’t turn away from him.

You grasped into his back again, pulling at him to urge him to move faster. You wanted him, but you wanted him the way you had always had him. Instead of picking up on your cues, he seemed to ignore you. He reached for your hands, pulling them away from him as he pressed them down against the bed next to you. He laced his fingers with yours, leaning in to kiss you softly as he continued to move against you. You could feel your breathing become ragged, the heat beginning to pool in your abdomen.

“Oh god,” you muttered as you broke your lips from his. He was still fucking into you slowly, almost too slowly.

You very suddenly realized that this was not like the other times. He was making love to you right now, and the idea of that scared you.

“Please, Rob…” you moaned. You wanted it to go back to the way it had been, when you fucked each other just to get off.

“Please, what?” He breathed out. He leaned his face toward yours again, letting his lips ghost yours.

“Please, just fuck me,” you pleaded. His blue eyes stared into yours, mouth agape as he moaned with each thrust.

“I got you baby,” he said softly before kissing you again. He didn’t adjust his pace, in fact, he just continued to thrust into you slowly. You could feel the heat growing, and you knew you were close. The last thing you wanted right now was to cum while he was making love to you. You might have been pissed off at him for pulling this if you hadn’t felt so gone right now. You threw your head back against the bed, fingers digging into his back as he kept his steady rhythm. You moaned loudly, right there at the edge as he then began to finally move faster.

He buried his face against your neck, kissing at the skin there.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned, hips moving harder against you.

Your climax that had been building finally broke. You cried out, digging your nails into him as you pulled him against you. Just as you came, so did he. His movements stuttered and you could feel his own release inside of you. You both continued to move against each other, moaning and gasping as your release seemed to go on for much longer than usual.

When he finally stopped moving, you took a moment to wrap your head around what had just happened. This had definitely been different. It was slow and passionate, definitely too intimate. Either way, he had made you cum harder than you ever had before. You watched him as he laid on you, still inside you as you both came down. You ran a hand through his dark curls as he collapsed on top of you.

“Holy shit,” he mumbled, “that was amazing.” He began to kiss you chest as he laid there, moving so that he could focus on your breast. You gasped as his mouth found your nipple, your entire body overly sensitive now.

You didn’t speak. You let him praise your body with his mouth until he finally moved off of you. He laid next to you, draping an arm over you as he closed his eyes, a pleased smile on his lips.

“You are so good, baby,” he continued. You still didn’t speak, unsure of what to even say at this point. Instead, you laid there next to him, both of you exhausted now. You watched him as he continued to smile, eyes still closed. You considered telling him that whatever had just happened, shouldn’t have happened. The two of you were, and always had been, just fooling around. For some reason, this whole night had felt different. You wanted to remind him of what this was supposed to be. But, the way he looked right now; so happy and relaxed despite the injuries to his face, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that he needed to leave this what it was.

As usual, you waited until he fell asleep, making sure that he was snoring softly before you moved yourself from under his arm. You didn’t know how to call him out on how he had made tonight a lot more intimate than you wanted it to be, but you figured that when he woke up the next morning to find that you were gone; that would be enough to remind him of what this really was.


	9. Whiskey Bent and Hellbound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even what seems to be a good thing can’t stay good for too long. Reader thought they were on the same page, so why is Rob being such an ass?

“So, I think we need to talk about what happened last night,” Kim began as she sat across from you at the table. She had called you in early for a chat, something that you expected anyway since you knew Matt would tell her about the fight that had happened.

“Okay, what’s up?” You asked, trying to appear as if you didn’t think it was a big deal.

“Lola, you know I can’t have things like that happening here. It was bad enough the last time you had some crazy fuck hanging out here. I can’t keep you if this is a repeat of that.”

“Kim, I promise, what happened is nowhere near the same thing.”

“Then explain.” She sat quietly, hands folded in front of her as she waited for you to convince her.

“My ex came in here trying to cause trouble for me. The other guy is just a regular, his band plays here all the time. He just stepped in to stand up for me is all. It really isn’t anything to worry about and it won’t happen again.”

“So, I need to 86 both of them?”

“No, not both of them,” you replied, “Rob, the one in the band, he’s a good guy. He’s never given me trouble.”

“His band does bring in most of my business.”

“They’re really good. This place is packed when they play.”

“Okay, but the other guy is done. He’s not allowed here, Matt knows this.”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I don’t know how you manage to attract the attention of creeps, Lola, you’re a sweet girl. I don’t mean to mom you, but you really need to consider the company you keep,’ Kim warned.

“I know. I should’ve been done with him a long time ago, but I guess I’m a glutton for pain.”

“I think we’re done here. See you for your shift tonight?”

“Of course, I’ll be here. Thanks for not firing me.”

“Who am I kidding? You’re my best bartender and a customer favorite. I couldn’t fire you even if I wanted to,” she said with a grin.

“Thank you Kim,” you said again, grateful that she wasn’t tearing you a new one like had expected her to. She was a nice woman who always treated you well, but even you knew better than to bring trouble into her bar.

After your meeting with Kim, you went back to your apartment, not at all surprised that Tyler wasn’t home. This made it easier to collect your things in a few boxes and bags. You had been very serious about leaving, fed up now with how stagnant the relationship was and how he still felt it necessary to keep tabs on you even thought he was obviously interested in someone else. You had let it go on for so long, and found yourself feeling restless now that you had met Rob and finally had a little excitement in your own life.

You had easily packed up your stuff, since you didn’t own much to begin with, and took Briana up on her offer for you to stay in her spare room for a while. It wasn’t ideal, but it would have to do for now.

The strange part about all of this so far was trying to get ready for work tonight while sharing a bathroom with Bri who was also working tonight.

“You wearing that?” Bri asked as she put on her lipstick.

“What’s wrong with this?” Looking down at your outfit. It was what you usually wore to work. Enough to be comfortable, yet low-cut enough to convince men to tip you more.

“Your band is playing tonight,” she reminded you. You frowned, knowing that it meant you’d see Rob again. While you very much enjoyed him, you couldn’t help but feel a little guilty every time you snuck out of his bed in the middle of the night. Not that the two of you were anything other than what you were, but a part of you felt like the man might be catching feelings, especially based on how he had behaved last night.

Briana moved to show you her shirt, the Louden Swain one that Rob had given to each of you. You had both decided to wear them on the nights the band played, to show your support for the most popular band to play in the bar.

“Yeah, I don’t think I have mine,” you mumbled. You really didn’t know where it was currently, and it didn’t help that you had literally thrown everything you owned into boxes and suitcases as quickly as possible in order to get away from Tyler.

“Your man is going to be disappointed,” she replied. “By the way, how is is face?”

She was referring to the fact that he had been involved in a bar brawl with your ex last night and walked away from it with a bloody lip and the beginnings of a black eye. Another thing for you to feel guilty about. Not only was the man a great lay, he had also quite literally defended your honor last night. And you repaid him by getting what you wanted from him and disappearing.

“His face will be okay, he’s still really hot. And, he’s not my man.” You corrected her.

“He will be, now that you’re single.”

“Bri, you do realize that he and I are just fooling around right? I have no intention of being in a relationship right now, especially not with him. But, he’s fun.”

“Girl,” Briana said, shaking her head, “you are getting yourself in way too deep if all you want from him is a fling.”

“I know what I’m doing,” you replied.

“Yeah, but obviously you don’t see the way he looks at you. It’s going to go real bad real fast if you keep it up.”

“How about you let me worry about that? He knows what this is, and we’ve both agreed to keep it what it is.”

Briana shrugged, not interested in arguing with you anymore on the topic. If there was one thing that she knew about you, it was that you were stubborn.

* * *

Later at the bar, you and Bri were already busy with the customers who came early for the show. The band, accompanied by a few other people that you hadn’t seen before, wandered in just before their set to prepare. You watched Rob, unable to look away. You hoped that he wasn’t upset again by the way you had left. He didn’t really acknowledge you, and you had to laugh to yourself at the idea that he just might be a little hurt.

Jason was the one who made his way to the bar to get drinks for the group, as he usually did while the band set up.

“Jason,” Briana greeted him, “the usual I assume?”

“Yeah, and a few more beers for our friends.”

“You got it.” Briana moved to get the order ready and you smiled at Jason who was watching you work now.

“Who are your new friends?” you asked curiously as you dropped off drinks to someone near Jason.

“Oh, one of them is Billy’s wife, one belongs to me, and the other one… is here with Rob,” he paused just before mentioning Rob to you, probably unsure if he should even mention the fact that he had brought someone to the show.

“Oh?” You asked, “Rob brought a date?”

“Uh, something like that.” Jason seemed uncomfortable. It was as if he didn’t want to outright say that Rob had a date tonight, but he also seemed to not want to lie to you.

“Good for him,” you replied with a smile. It didn’t phase you. At least, that’s what you told yourself at first.

“Yeah, I mean- I wasn’t sure if I should even say anything. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you…”

“Nothing’s going on,” you said, “why would anything be going on?”

“I mean, I know you two are kinda- hooking up or whatever.”

“Yeah, we were.”

“Are you okay with that?” He asked, pointing over to Rob who was now talking to the girl he showed up with. She was cute, and very flirty even from where you were standing. She was laughing at what appeared to be an extremely funny joke that Rob had told, gripping onto his arm as she spoke with him.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know,” Jason replied, “I honestly thought you two had a thing going on. I was pretty surprised when he invited her along actually. It’s going to mess up his ‘flirting with the bartender’ game he has going on.”

“You know, I’m surprised he got a date given how messed up his face is after the other night. Oh, and the fact that he’s so awkward.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No,” you chuckled, “he’s not my boyfriend. We were just messing around.”

“Oh, okay, that’s good.”

“Yup,” you said as you placed his drink order in front of him, “have fun.”

* * *

You listened to the band as you worked, taking note of how depressing their entire set seemed to be. They weren’t really playing songs that you had become familiar with tonight, instead, they seemed to be on a ‘let’s play every heartbreaking, depressing song we can think of’ kick. Regardless, Rob was still a great performer and you found yourself entranced by the sound of his voice and the way he put so much emotion into the lyrics.

After the show, the band sat at the bar and you focused on helping them, bringing them more drinks and engaging in small talk with them, well, aside from Rob who mostly appeared to be interested in the woman he had brought. You wanted to deny that you were the jealous type, but seeing him with her had you feeling a way that you really didn’t want to feel. Even more, you were sort of irritated that he had even brought her here. You were sure he had done it on purpose, maybe trying to get a reaction out of you. You often felt as if he took this whole thing between the two of you a lot more seriously than you did.

He wasn’t yours. That was your agreement. There was no relationship and he had every right to hang out with other women. But, the fact that he had literally been with you less than 24 hours ago and was now here with this woman, left you feeling pretty gross. You hadn’t considered the fact that he could be fooling around with other women this whole time, probably because you had only been with him and you assumed that your frequent trysts were enough for him.

Any interest that he had ever shown you was no longer there tonight. You basically didn’t exist if you weren’t bringing him and his date drinks. So, you placed your focus on the rest of the guys; laughing and joking with them and doing what you could to ignore Rob.

“Bartender,” you heard Rob’s voice call out as you were in the middle of listening to Stephen tell a story about their last tour. You were engaged in it and felt slightly annoyed as Rob insisted you wait on him.

“Yes?” you asked politely as you approached him.

“We’ve been sitting here for a while with empty drinks.”

“Next time, just ask,” you reminded him. You went to retrieve two more beers, shaking your head as you did so.

“I shouldn’t have to ask. It’s your job to pay attention to your customers,” he responded rudely. You stopped before handing the drinks over, prepared to tell him what an ass he was being, but you thought better of it.

“I’m sorry I was distracted,” you replied, “I’ll pay attention from now on.”

You started to walk back to where Stephen was sitting, still telling his story and you hoped you hadn’t missed too much of it.

“Maybe if you weren’t so busy trying to hook up with every single guy in the bar, you wouldn’t be so distracted.” Rob said it quietly, but just loud enough for you to hear. He took a drink of his beer as he stared at you, waiting for your reaction.

“Excuse me?” You responded, walking back toward him.

“You heard me,” he replied. You swear you saw him swallow hard, almost nervous now that he realized you had heard him.

“Repeat that,’ you said firmly, not wanting to believe that you had just heard what you had heard.

“I said,” he drew out the words, “you’re always all over every man in this bar. Now you’re hitting on my friend.”

“Stephen?”

Rob nodded. You couldn’t figure out what was going on. He kept a blank expression, and you honestly couldn’t read him or the situation right now.

“What are you doing?” You asked finally.

“What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.”

“Why are you being such an asshole? One night you’re ‘defending my honor’, getting your face smashed in by a guy who’s giving me a hard time; the next night, you’re talking to me as if I’m just some nobody that you’re not sleeping with.”

“Yeah, about that, I don’t think that’s working out. It was fun while it lasted, don’t get me wrong. You’re a good lay. But, I think I’ve got a little more respect for myself than to just keep fucking around with a random bartender just because she’s easy.”

He stared at you and you could see the hurt in his eyes, you could hear the bitterness in his tone. Regardless of whether or not you had hurt his feelings, he was way out of line. You felt your blood boil at the harshness of his words. He was being cruel, and you didn’t understand why.

So, this is what he really thought of you? You had at least hoped the two of you were friends, after all, you didn’t behave this way with just anyone. You had grown to trust the man and maybe even like him a little. You assumed with the way that he usually spoke to you and pursued you, that maybe he respected you a little too. You felt like an idiot now as you realized that he had gotten what he wanted from you and was ready to drop you before you could even think about it.

It would have been a good time to walk away from him, save yourself from the sting of his words and the look in his eyes. Right now, you had never felt so angry. You weren’t angry that he had brought some other women here tonight, you were pissed at the way he was disrespecting you. So, you did the only thing you could think to do in that moment, something you had always wanted to do to assholes who treated you like shit while you were at work but had never had the guts to do before.

You reached for his beer that was still full and sitting in front of him, grasping it tightly in your hand as you stared him down. You hesitated for a moment, wondering if you would get into trouble for causing another scene in Kim’s bar. You decided it would be worth it. Rob watched intently as you leaned across the bar closer to him; so close that you could have kissed him. you  lifted his drink up and immediately poured it’s contents over his head. You half expected him to freak out, you sort of wanted him to; but he sat there, in a state of shock as the cold beer drenched his hair, running down his face and onto his shirt. He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw as he sat there, almost allowing you to do this.

You could feel eyes on you now; from Briana, the band, their friends, strangers who were just trying to enjoy their drinks. You briefly felt regret over your action, but seeing him sitting there, soaked in beer made that regret disappear rather quickly. It didn’t help to make his words hurt any less, but it certainly made you feel a lot better.

You gently placed the empty beer bottle back in front of him as he looked at you with no expression. You leaned in again, dangerously close to his face now.

“Get the fuck out of this bar,” you said sternly. You could feel your eyes well up with tears. You had no intention of letting him get to you, but you were hurt and despite having just gotten your revenge, you couldn’t help but to still be pissed.

“What is wrong with you?” The woman that he was with shouted. You watched as she scrambled for napkins, trying to towel Rob off as the man continued to stare you down. The other guys; Jason, Billy, Stephen, and Mike watched the scene unfold and just stared, mouths agape and unable to react.

“I suggest you get your friend out of here before I fuck up the rest of his face,” you said to no one in particular, your voice shaky as you tried to control your anger. All of the guys moved rather quickly, getting their things and grabbing Rob to practically yank him off the bar stool. It was as if he were frozen there; unable or unwilling to move. His eyes never left you as his friends made quick work of dragging him out. Just as they were out the door, you felt hands grip onto your arm and you turned quickly, coming face to face with Briana.

“Y/N,” she said, giving you a sympathetic look, “go back to the house, please.”

You nodded, for some reason unable to talk. You couldn’t be sure if you were in shock over the way he had spoken to you or by your own actions. Either way, you felt your stomach tighten and you had to force back tears.

Matt, who had also stood back and watched the whole thing happened, came around the bar, putting an arm around your shoulder as you got your things. He led you from behind the bar, and just as he had always done until recently, he walked you to your car, making sure you got there safely.

You unlocked your car, replaying the whole scene in your head, wondering why you had reacted that way. You had definitely been treated worse, been called worse, by many other men. None of those moments had ever gotten to you the way that Rob had.

“Lola,” Matt began, “I won’t say anything to Kim. No one was hurt, there was no fight, she doesn’t need to know.”

“Matt, I poured a beer on a guy from a band that plays here all the time. Why did I do that?”

“Because he was out of line. You stood up for yourself.”

“I’m going to get fired,” you mumbled, well aware that Rob might be the kind of guy to complain about you to your boss over the fact that you had humiliated him, “I’m constantly a so close to getting fired, and I’m one step closer now.”

“I’m not going to say anything, neither will Bri.”

“Thank you,” you replied.

“Go home, get some rest, and don’t believe any of what he said to you.”

“If only you knew, Matt.” You laughed lightly, knowing that Rob was right in a way. You had put yourself in this position. You trusted someone who was only with you for one thing. You should’ve known how he really thought of you. You should have realized that this could all go badly.

Matt pulled you in for a hug and you thanked him before getting in your car. You watched him return to the bar before you let yourself cry.


	10. Sin for a Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rob feels the need to apologize in his own way, but the Reader has something else in mind.

You spent the next week or so still pissed off and upset over the way Rob had treated you. You weren’t sure what you had done exactly for him to behave that way, but you had hoped that you pouring a beer on him and kicking him out of the bar that night would have been enough to let him know that you were done.

He didn’t show his face back at the bar all week, and you had surprisingly had to ignore a couple of phone calls from him. You didn’t know why he was bothering you still, certainly he couldn’t think that he could call you for a hook up after what he had said. You ignored him, no longer interested in him if he thought it was okay to treat you that way.

You were at work on a Wednesday. Wednesdays were always slow, but there were the usuals. Tonight, you found yourself holding back on your usual flirting and friendliness, obviously still feeling bad about what Rob had said. It was just you and Matt and a handful of customers, and the night was going by slowly and quietly.

You were in the middle of chatting with a couple at the bar when you noticed Jason walk in. you smiled to yourself, hoping he hadn’t come to complain about the way you had acted with his friend. You had nothing against him or any of the other guys, they were still some of your favorite customers and were always so polite to you.

“Jason,” you said as you walked toward him, “wasn’t sure if I’d see you back here.”

“It’s my favorite bar, why would I stay away?”

“Well, I assumed after that whole fiasco last week, you’d all want to avoid this place.”

You handed him his beer of choice without him even having to ask. You knew him, just as you knew the rest of the guys.

“That’s actually why I’m here.”

“Of course it is,” you mumbled, no longer smiling at his friendly face, “make it quick and just remember that I have security here.”

“Look, Rob got what he deserved. He was out of line. I’ve never heard him talk like that to anyone, ever.”

“I guess I just bring out the best in people,” you said sarcastically.

“He’s been trying to call you.”

“He called twice, and I ignored his calls.”

“I think he’s trying to apologize.”

“Whatever, he has nothing to apologize for.”

“Yeah, he does. He knows he was being a dick. He’s not that guy. I’m not sure why he acted that way with you… bringing that girl here, talking to you like that.”

“It’s because he thinks I’m a slut,” you reminded him, “and, I mean, with good reason. That’s what I get for thinking that I could fuck around with someone I don’t even know.”

“He doesn’t think of you like that.”

“Well he sure has an interesting way of showing how much he respects me.”

“You know,” Jason began, “I think maybe he likes you too much.”

“Wow, that makes me feel so much better,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “What a guy. He likes me so much that he comes into my work and calls me a whore in front of everyone. So sweet.”

Jason sat quietly, uncomfortable over what you had to say. You really hoped that Rob hadn’t sent him in here to apologize for him, that would have been slightly pathetic.

“He wants to know if he’s kicked out of here for good. He hasn’t come by because you told him to leave. He wants to talk to you, but doesn’t want to show up if he’s not allowed.”

“I’d rather him not be here, but it’s not my place to kick anyone out.”

“So, he can come by, even when you’re working.”

“You should probably tell your friend not to,” you warned, “unless he enjoys having beer dumped on him.”

“I’ll relay the message,” Jason smiled. He quickly chugged his beer, placing some cash on the bar before walking out. You stood there, slightly confused and hoping that Rob might think better of showing his face here again while you were working.

* * *

Rob saved his appearance for the following night. Seeing him walk into the bar had you seething immediately. You knew he hadn’t been officially kicked out, you couldn’t make that happen just because you had slept with him and he had hurt your feelings. Again, Briana wasn’t here to take over, even though you really didn’t want to deal with him. He sat at the bar, alone this time. You glanced toward Matt who was already making a move toward you. You shooed him away, knowing that Rob wouldn’t cause a scene again.

You very slowly made your way to him, heart racing now upon seeing him again.

“What do you want?” You asked.

“Uh, the usual,” he relied softly.

You grabbed a beer for him, opening it and placing it down in front of him. You thought you saw him flinch, probably afraid that you might pour it on him. Without another word, you turned from him, intent on putting your focus elsewhere.

“Can we talk,” you heard him ask.

You turned back to face him again, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Yeah, there is. Because I was a massive jerk to you.”

“Oh, you’re finally realizing this?”

“I knew I was being a jerk the minute I said what I said. Are you okay?”

“What do you care? You think I’m a whore.”

“I never said that,” he argued.

“Not directly.”

“I wouldn’t have said all of that if you weren’t acting like such a bitch,” he spat, very quickly biting his tongue as the words came out.

“Oh, now I’m a bitch?” You asked angrily.

“No, but you were acting like one. I was good to you, and you walked out on me. Again. I don’t like feeling like I’m being used.”

“Isn’t that what we were doing?” You replied, “Weren’t we just using each other?”

“I don’t like to think of it like that.”

“Then what? Why did you have to do that? Why did you bring someone in here, knowing damn well that you had been with me that same morning? Why did you feel it was necessary to talk to me like that?”

Rob shifted in his seat, avoiding your stare. “Can we just talk about this somewhere else? After you get off work?”

“You want privacy?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to do this here.”

“Maybe I wanted you to not call me a whore in front of the people I work with and my customers.” You stared harder at him, wishing you could dump another beer over his head. If anything, even that simple thing had made you feel better before.

“Please, I know I don’t deserve it, but will you at least hear me out.”

You considered what he had to say. He had mentioned how you had pissed him off by walking out on him again, something that you tended to do every time. Maybe you were a glutton for punishment, but the idea of not being with him again didn’t sit well with you. He was good to you, really good, despite his one moment of rudenesss last week. Maybe, you could hear him out, listen to his apology. Maybe you could reestablish what this relationship was so that he understood a little better. Maybe you could go back to having the best sex of your life without the complications. Any self-respecting woman probably wouldn’t give the guy another chance after what he had pulled, but you knew he was addicting. You couldn’t give him up that easily, you really didn’t want to.

‘Fine. You can wait until my shift is over. Then maybe I’ll listen.”

He offered you a small smile as you turned from him again, going back to ignoring him to focus on your other customers.

* * *

At the end of the night, you let Rob walk out with you; much to the dismay of Matt. You had to remind him that you didn’t need him to protect you all the time, and, although you may be stupid, you were an adult who made your own decisions.

You couldn’t go back to your current place, since you were still holed up at Bri’s house. So you drove Rob home and followed him inside so that he could say what he had to say.

Instead of saying anything, he gripped onto your waist as soon as you were inside, moving in to kiss you the same way he would have before. You wanted him to kiss you, you wanted so much more from him and you sort of hated yourself for it. You managed to turn away from him and he settled with kissing you on the cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, still gripping onto your waist as he pulled you closer to him.

“You were an asshole.”

“I know I was. I’m sorry. I just got so angry at the way you kept disappearing.”

“Saying you’re sorry doesn’t make me feel any better,” you argued.

“I don’t know what else I can do.”

You looked at him, now seeing regret plastered all over his face. He looked honestly upset with himself and the fact that he couldn’t think of a way to fix what he had done. You realized you could get a decent apology from him though, at the same time, getting what you really needed from him.

“Show me how sorry you are,” you said, surprising yourself with how demanding you sounded.

Rob caught on quickly, pulling you in even closer to him. He leaned in toward you, pausing suddenly.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked.

“Yes.”

He crashed his lips to yours, kissing you heatedly. He began to work his hand up your shirt where he immediately cupped your breast. You moaned into his mouth and he in turn pressed himself harder against you. You felt his cock against you, already hard, and you knew what you had to do.

“Just so we’re clear, you don’t get to fuck me,” you explained, still feeling very dominant. “You’re in trouble. You will get me off, but you don’t get to cum.”

He grinned at you, nodding his understanding. You felt the adrenaline rush through you. You loved being in control, and you felt that for the first time, you really were in control.

Rob pushed you back against the wall, kissing you again, tongue darting in your mouth as he teased your own tongue. You couldn’t help but moan again. No matter how much you wanted to be dominant, the man made it almost impossible sometimes. You felt his hands trace up the length of your thighs, lifting your skirt as he made his way to exactly where you needed him. He rubbed his fingers against your core for a moment before he promptly tugged at your panties, guiding them down your legs so that you could step out of them, his mouth never leaving yours. He teased you, now touching your clit before sliding two fingers inside of you. You broke the kiss, panting against his mouth as you relished in the sensation of having him touch you again.

You assumed that this would be his way of apologizing. And you were okay with that, no matter how much you wanted to feel him inside you again.

He kissed your mouth, working his way down your neck to your collarbone as he placed kisses along your skin. Your breathing picked up as he worked his fingers inside you, anxious now for your release. Then, he did something unexpected. He trailed his mouth down your chest, focusing on your skin there for a moment before dropping to his knees. Your breath caught as he looked up at you from his place on the floor, those blue eyes searching your own for approval. His rough hands ran along your thighs as he watched you and waited. You reached down, running a hand through his dark curls as you nodded for him to continue.

He took his time, now kissing along the insides of your thighs, his soft lips offset by the coarseness of his beard as it brushed against your sensitive skin. You moaned again, resting your head back against the wall as you closed your eyes, already lost in the moment. He carefully tugged on your leg, directing it up and over his shoulder as he lifted your skirt, holding it out of the way. That first contact of his mouth against you caused you to gasp. He slowly licked along your clit and you felt your knees buckle as he did so. You kept your eyes closed, mouth agape as you let out short gasps and moans, now feeling him begin to move his tongue against you harder.

When you felt that first sensation of him sucking at your clit, you cried out, looking down to see him, amazed at what he was doing to you right now. You were met by his own stare, those eyes looking up at you, his pupils blown as he watched you writhe against him. When he met your gaze, he worked faster, licking and sucking. You involuntarily reached down to card your hand through his hair again, this time gripping onto him as you tugged ever so gently, causing him to groan, which in turn caused a vibration through your core that had you gasping. You could hear him now, moaning as he continued to work, pleased with your taste.

You gripped harder onto his hair, pulling his face closer to you when you realized that the coil was building up within you quickly now. You let out another moan, “so good for me baby…” you managed to say, complimenting his skills that you didn’t know he had.

He moaned in response, tongue moving faster as he stopped to suck on your clit again.

“Oh, yes,” you responded, still watching him. You couldn’t get over how fucking hot it was to have him like this, those amazing eyes just staring up at you as you took control, looking toward you for approval. You began to move your hips against his mouth. “Jesus, Rob… do you know how fucking amazing you feel right now?”

He didn’t respond, he just continued to watch you. Your mouth fell open as another loud moan escaped your lips, eyes fluttering shut as the buildup continued. He must have read your cues, because before you could even realize it, he now had his fingers inside you as he continued to lick and suck. You felt your legs grow weak, your head spinning. He gripped onto your leg that was draped over his shoulder, trying to hold you still as much as he could as you were now basically riding his face.

“Please…” you gasped, letting him know that you needed to cum. He obliged, moving his fingers deeper into you, finding that sweet spot that caused your body to shake each time he touched it. “Oh fuck,” you moaned. He was still hitting that spot, still licking at and sucking your clit, still watching you. You couldn’t hold back any longer. You grasped onto him, your hands probably tugging at his hair a bit too hard, but you were so close and suddenly unable to control yourself.

He worked faster now upon realizing how close you were. You could feel his fingers deep within you, his mouth and tongue moving expertly against your core. You groaned, suddenly feeling the warmth at your core build up to it’s peak before finally breaking. You cried out as you came hard. You felt your head hit the wall as you threw it back, your legs nearly giving out as your body trembled. He kept his grip on your leg tight, holding you up as he worked you through your intense orgasm.

You started to come down now, breathing ragged, heartbeat slowing, and the trembling in your body winding down. You looked back down at him, surprised that he was still looking up at you, watching. He let his tongue lick up your slit one more time, causing you to gasp now that you were so sensitive. He pulled back, grinning at you, his mouth and beard glistening with your slick. You had never thought the man could look more attractive than he already was, but, right now, you were questioning that. You gave him a loopy smile as he guided your leg from his shoulder, putting it down so that he could stand. He pressed you against the wall, leaning in to kiss you. You let him, despite the fact that his beard was wet and you could taste yourself on his tongue. He kissed you for a long time, it was heated and needy, and you never wanted it to stop.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly when the kiss ended. “I didn’t mean what I said. I was drunk and jealous.”

“Jealous?” You asked in a breathy voice. You weren’t quite recovered, and you looked at him in a daze, unsure of what he was getting at.

“Yes, I was jealous that you were paying more attention to my friends.”

“You were the one who brought a date.”

“I only brought her to make you jealous. You ran out on me again and I was pissed.”

“We’re not supposed to get jealous,” you replied, “that’s not what this is.”

“Did it make you jealous?” He asked, “Seeing me with her.”

“A little,” you replied honestly. God knows you didn’t want to feel jealousy over what he chose to do when he wasn’t with you. You knew that this couldn’t work if either of you developed those types of feelings.

“See, we both get jealous. I just do stupid things when I’m jealous.”

“We really need to stop that,” you reminded him, “we’re just sleeping with each other, we’re not supposed to feel that way.”

“I can’t help it, bartender. I like you.”

“Mmmm,” you hummed softly, “I like you too. But you’re not about to be my boyfriend.”

He grinned, pleased with himself for some reason. “Are you sure you don’t want to return the favor,” he asked, changing the subject as he moved against you, his cock still hard against your leg. You smiled slyly at him.

“I would love to,” you teased, “but this is your punishment for basically calling me a whore, oh, and a bitch.”

Rob groaned, dropping his head into the crook of your neck where he began to kiss and lick. He knew he wasn’t getting the favor returned, at least not tonight. You only hoped that he understood why, and learned to not behave that way again. You pushed him away from you after a moment, finding your panties and putting them back on. You straightened out your clothes, trying to look a little more presentable.

“Will I see you again?” He asked hopefully with a grin.

“You keep making me feel like that every time you fuck up, you’ll definitely see me again.”

He watched you as you headed for the door, ready to walk away from him.

“Really?” He asked. He seemed so sure that you might change your mind, regardless of how much you said no. “You really won’t at least blow me?”

You chuckled softly, hand gripping the doorknob as you looked at him, “I’m serious Rob. You’re on your own tonight. How does it feel to be my little bitch?”

He smiled at you as you turned to walk out, leaving him there, still hard, and seemingly impressed with how you handled all of that.

You on the other hand, wondered if you were being stupid with all of this. You should have cut him loose the moment he disrespected you, but you never stopped thinking about him. The memory of seeing him at the bar with someone else had gotten to you, even if you wouldn’t fully admit how much it bothered you.

You realized just then that you were in trouble. You were addicted to him, unwilling to let him go even if he felt it necessary to piss you off. You had called it from the beginning. He was trouble and you were finding it impossible to stay away.


	11. She's Smoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader reestablishes exactly what she and Rob are, and he seems to understand. When she feels that he is still treating this as something more, she decides to draw the line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, this chapter didn't go over so well over on Tumblr. Yes, I made Rob a massive jerk, but it is an AU and I live for angst. I love making my characters act like jerks to each other. So, if the idea of Rob being an asshole bothers you, don't read it.

You were still upset with him. The fact that you were still seeing him didn’t change that. Even after his apology and the subsequent event that had him admitting his jealousy, you knew you might be getting in too deep with him. But, you couldn’t stop.

He and the band still showed up often at the bar and you were still happy to see them. Rob’s words and his behavior never left your mind though, so you did your best not to talk to him too much when he was there. You had both reevaluated what this was, and you remained very clear that you were only interested in sleeping with him. He seemed to agree to the terms, and you only hoped he could stick with them this time around.

Both of you had let the entire thing get way out of hand. He obviously thought this was maybe a bit more than what it should be; coming to your defense in some cases, and getting jealous in others. That’s not to say that maybe you had handled things a bit poorly as well. You admit, you had felt that twinge of jealousy upon seeing him with that random woman at the bar. You also caught yourself thinking of him on weeks when maybe he didn’t hit you up for fooling around as often as you wanted him to. So, you very clearly laid out the arrangements and expectations this time. 

It seemed to work out for a while. You did your thing, and he held back any indication that he might still be upset every time you ran out immediately after. You appear to have found a common ground. You only had a couple of incidents when you had to step in and remind him that he was out of line; once with a stranger at the bar who Rob felt you were ‘getting too friendly with,’ and another night when you went to watch his band play and he had possessively told some dude to fuck off when he asked you to dance. You knew he was starting to treat this as more than what it really was, and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings and risk losing out on the best sex you had ever had. So, you stuck with continuing to remind him that you were in control in the bedroom and that it was nothing more than just sex. You even went as far as telling him you had made a mistake giving him your name, and you no longer wanted to hear it coming from his lips. He was to call you by your moniker only; but he had decided that using ‘bartender’ was more to his liking.

You constantly played the ‘you hurt my feelings and you’re paying for it now’ card. You knew that it was in the past, but it was the only thing you could think of to keep getting what you wanted without leading him on further. Eventually, you felt that it might be sinking in a little better with him, so you gradually loosened up on your control the next time you saw him. 

“You are still very much in trouble for the way you spoke to me,” you had reminded him during this conversation.

“Y/N, it’s been weeks. Are we really not past this yet?” He asked in frustration. Maybe you had dragged it on for too long, but you still felt hurt, and you still very much enjoyed keeping him submissive, which he willingly did in order to make up for what he had done. You only worried that soon, he would get fed up with trying to please you and drop you when he got tired of you not forgiving him.

“My feelings are still hurt, every time I think about it,” you reminded him, “and you don’t get to call me by my name. You’ve forgotten our agreement.”

“Fuck, Y/N,” he groaned as you moved against him.

“What did I just say?” You stopped your movements, glaring down at him as you straddled him.

“I’m sorry… bartender,” he muttered, almost completely gone now. “Let me touch you, please.”

“There will be no touching,” you swatted his hand away as he carefully tried to sneak in just a touch of your body.

He nodded, biting his lip as he dropped his hand back to the bed. You continued to move, now just teasing him at this point. Before long, you were moaning and gasping as you watched him writhe beneath you, bucking his hips up, waiting impatiently for you to just do what he wanted you to do. He grasped onto the sheets, forcing himself to behave, trying all that he could to keep his hands off of you. He was well aware of the repercussions of not listening to your rules, as you had stopped things very quickly the one time he had disobeyed you. He knew better than to keep it up if he wanted to keep you coming back for more.

You drew out the teasing a bit longer until even you couldn’t take it anymore. Finally, you positioned yourself over him, grabbing a firm hold of his cock as you slowly slid down on top of him. You moaned at how well he filled you up, and you heard him moan in return, his mouth turning up into pleased grin now that he was getting what he needed.

You braced yourself, hands against his chest as you began to ride him.

You watched him as he groaned beneath you, gasping and muttering swears with each thrust of your hips against his. He fisted the sheets still, occasionally reaching up as if he were going to touch you. Even with how far gone he was, he knew better, and he’d bring his hands up to run them through his own hair as he watched you.

You enjoyed watching him get off, you had to admit. That look of absolute bliss that took over every time drove you on. At the same time, you still enjoyed the way he made you feel. While, currently, you were making it very obvious that this was all about you for the time being, you secretly made sure you pleased him as well. It hadn’t been that way at first. You had clearly stated that you still wanted him, still needed him to continue to do what it was that you knew only he could do. Most of the time, you’d get what you needed and leave. That had only recently changed when you realized that you needed more of him and the only way you would get that was to allow him to be with you in this way. Lately, he seemed to focus only on you, as if he knew he had screwed up and only wanted to win you back. So, you let him. And you made it very clear that you didn’t care about how he felt. You knew that the moment you considered his own pleasure before your own, it only meant that you were done punishing him.

Maybe tonight was that night. Maybe now you were done punishing him. You thought about this as you rode him, watching him come undone, still working so hard to obey you. Truthfully, you wanted him to touch you, you wanted him the way you used to have him when this had all started. So, as you felt yourself getting closer, seeing that he too might not be able to hold back for much longer; you leaned in slowly, pressing your lips to his as you slow your movements. It had been the first time in weeks that you had let him kiss you, and he did so eagerly, still keeping his hands to himself as he hungrily tasted your mouth, groaning louder as you moved gently against him.

“You may touch me now,” you whispered against his lips, finally breaking now that you realized how badly you wanted those hands on you. He didn’t hesitate. He grasped onto your hips, fingertips digging into your skin as if it had been forever since he could finally have control. He pulled your body up just slightly before bringing you down against him, at the same time thrusting up into you. You cried out, smiling and pleased with how eager he was. Then, he did something that you hadn’t necessarily given him permission to do, but it caught you off guard and you couldn’t even object.

He sat up quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist, still pulling you against him as he met you for another kiss. It was heated and almost too much for you to take. You moaned against his mouth, enjoying that you could finally taste him again. He quickly adjusted, nearly throwing you down against the bed. You landed with a startled gasp, trying to regain yourself until he promptly topped you, immediately thrusting into you. You hadn’t let him take this much control in weeks, and you really didn’t want to start; considering how exciting it had been to have him under your thumb this entire time. But, as he pulled your legs up to wrap around his waist, still thrusting into you deeper, you completely gave up your position of power. Again.

He had been given permission to touch you, and he certainly didn’t take that lightly. His hands were everywhere; running along your skin, squeezing your breasts, until he reached down between your bodies, letting his fingers work at your clit all while he was still fucking into you almost mercilessly. You couldn’t even bother to try reminding him who was supposed to be in control at this moment. Your senses became overwhelmed and you tossed your head back as you gripped onto his back, moaning and calling his name as you felt yourself begin to lose control.

“Fuck, Rob… you’re not supposed to-”  you gasped, losing your train of thought.

“I’m not supposed to what?” He breathed out. He looked right at you, meeting your eyes with that same sly look that he always gave you when he knew that he had you where he wanted you. He stopped his movements suddenly and you moaned at the loss of friction. You knew what he was doing and you cursed him under your breath, bucking your hips against him to encourage him to keep going.

“What was that?” he panted, studying you, “What did you say?”

“Please,” you responded, voice barely a whisper. You were angry that you were even saying it in the first place, but it was all you could say.

“I can’t hear you,” he replied as he leaned in to kiss you.

“Please,” you begged again, your voice now audible and noticeably irritated.

“Ask again, and I want to hear my name on those pretty lips of yours.”

“Rob… please, don’t stop,” you glared at him angrily upon realizing that your dominance had very quickly been taken from you, and you were mostly angry with yourself for giving up that power.

“Of course, baby girl,” he purred, still smiling slyly as he too realized that he had you. “I love hearing you beg for me.”

He began to move again, fucking into you at an almost excruciatingly slow pace. His eyes never left yours, and no matter how much you wanted to avoid his gaze, you couldn’t. You dropped your mouth open, gasping as he moved inside you, still gripping him tight. He leaned in again, taking your mouth with his gently. You let him kiss you, his tongue sliding against your own, his body still moving against yours. You knew exactly what he was doing, and the thought of it pissed you off no matter how fucking amazing it felt right now. You needed him to just do it, just get the two of you off as quickly as possible.

“Harder,” you pleaded with him. You tried to move yourself against him, cue him in on the fact that he needed to stop trying to move so slow.

“No,’ he responded, “I’m in control now, and I’m going to take my time with you.”

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration, or pleasure; it was all really the same at this point. You didn’t bother to protest anymore. The buildup was becoming too much. You knew you were close and you knew that it would be amazing. So, you let him continue to move at his agonizingly slow pace, feeling him deeper with each thrust.

You noticed that he was breathing harder, gasps escaping his lips as he finally began to move faster against you. He was close and you were right there on the edge as well. You gripped him tighter, pulling him against you as he moved a little faster now.

“Oh fuck, Y/N.” he muttered as you began to feel the buildup begin again. He had very expertly brought you to the brink, only to bring you back from it for a moment, and was now pushing you over the edge again. You loved and hated the way he was able to toy with you. You loved that he could make you feel this good. You also hated that he took what was supposed to be just sex, and turn it into an almost too intimate thing with you.

You did all you could to avoid his gaze the closer you got. You hated the way he looked at you right now, as if you were the most important thing in the world to him as he made love to you. Mostly, you hated how you were letting him do it.

Before long, you were pushed over the edge, your orgasm rushing through you as you cried out. He followed you, grunting and groaning against your neck, now repeating your real name as he too was lost in the feeling. You both took your time, coming down from your highs, and when you had finally come back from the intense feeling, you gently pushed him off of you. Even the weight of his body on yours seemed too intimate.

He plopped down next to you on the bed, breathing heavy, sweat glistening on his skin as he grinned at you.

“Fucking amazing, as always,” he said.

“Mmm,” you hummed, “I’m not going to argue with that.”

You laid there for a few minutes until you caught your breath. When you were sure your legs were no longer jelly and your head had stopped spinning, you climbed out of his bed and promptly began to search for your clothing, dressing quickly in an attempt to get out of there as soon as you could.

“You ever think about just staying the night?” He asked as he watched you.

“Why would I do that?” You asked as you pulled your shirt over your body.

“I don’t know. Isn’t it a pain in the ass to do… this, only to leave right after in the middle of the night?”

“I manage,” you replied.

“You can stay, you know? I’m not kicking you out.”

“I know. I don’t want to stay.”

“I’m a pretty decent bed partner,” he said.

“Oh, I know,” you cut in, smirking at him.

“I mean, you could sleep here. I don’t snore or anything.”

“I have never stayed the night, and I don’t intend to.”

“Ooh,” he teased, “why? You don’t want this to get too”intimate”?’ He brought up his hands, forming air quotes as he said the word, making a joke out of something that you took rather seriously.

“Exactly,” you said simply. “And, if you think you can keep pulling that crap like you just did, this is going to end sooner rather than later.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I mean,” you muttered. You had been very aware that he had turned this into something that you didn’t want again. He had made it too personal, the way he insisted in making eye contact and taking his time with you.

“Is this because I used your name? That was an accident, I was just in the moment.”

“It’s because you used my name, and you took over when you know I’m supposed to be in control,” you explained.

“Hey, you said I could touch you,” he chuckled, defending himself.

“I didn’t say you could take over.”

“You’re only mad because you let your guard down.”

“No, I didn’t. I only said you could touch me,” you argued.

“And I did. You give me permission to do something, I’m taking it.”

“I wasn’t done punishing you.”

“Yes, you were. Otherwise you wouldn’t have let me win.”

“It’s not a competition,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. You got your shoes on finally, and began to look for your things.

“Oh, you and me?” He began, “Everything’s a competition. You just get pissed when you lose your control.”

You stared at him, feeling a bit on edge at the way he argued with you. Ultimately, you both knew this wasn’t necessarily about who had the upper hand in any given moment. He avoided your gaze again, knowing damn well what you had meant.

“Look, I don’t give a shit about who’s in charge. It was fun to be the dominant one, if even for a moment. Don’t get me wrong, I love being in charge. But, that’s not what this about, and you know it.”

“What then?” He asked, “What the hell did I do, other than hurt your ego?”

“You blatantly broke the rules that we discussed when we decided to keep doing this.”

“To be fair, the rules were your idea, I just agreed to them so I could keep seeing you. Also, we’re adults, why does there even have to be rules?”

“Because this is supposed to be just sex!” you shouted. He pulled back, looking shocked at your outburst. “There are rules that we agreed to because you seem to have a hard time understanding what it is that I want from you.”

“I know what this is, Y/N. I’m not an idiot.’

“See, there it is,” you said angrily, shaking you head as you stood up.

“Oh my god!” he shouted back, “I said your name, what is the big deal? Why are you being like this?”

“This is not going to work if we don’t follow the rules that we set. Shit like this gets messy unless we’re both on the same page.”

“Well, I’m sick of your fucking rules,” he mumbled, now looking just as pissed off as you felt. “I used your real name, I’m so sorry, bartender. Don’t want to get too personal, do we?”

“Stop it.”

“No,” he spat, “you know what? You’re the one who did all the talking, all the deciding. I’m done with your stupid rules.”

“Fine, then we’re done with this.”

He raised a brow at you, trying to decide if he believed you. “All because I said your name?”

“I probably could’ve let that one slide,” you replied.

“Then what? This is because you were no longer calling the shots,” he stated, thinking that you were just pissed that he reclaimed his dominance.

“No.”

“What the hell is your problem then?”

“I didn’t say you could…” you trailed off, not even wanting to say the words yourself. You weren’t sure if it had been what he was going for, but you knew what that felt like. “I didn’t say you could make love to me,” you mumbled.

You half expected him to protest, tell you that he never meant it to seem like that. He said nothing. You glanced over to him as you sat on the side of his bed. He avoided your stare, moving to place his hands behind his head as he leaned back. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily as you continued to watch him.

“Seriously,” you continued, “what the fuck is that all about? We were having fun, and you had to go and fuck it up.”

“That’s not what it was, I’m sorry if you misread it.”

“I’m not an idiot Rob,” you responded. “This isn’t the first time you’ve taken it there.”

He shut up again, not even bothering to argue with you further. That’s when you knew that you were right. He stared at you, almost looking guilty.

“You caught me,” he said softly, offering you a defeated smile, “God forbid I might actually like you.”

You were now feeling uncomfortable at the way his demeanor changed so quickly. “Even I can figure out how to just sleep with someone without letting my feelings get in the way.”

“Right,” he sniggered, “I almost forgot that you were dead inside.”

“You are such an asshole,” you replied. You finally grabbed your jacket and purse, turning from him as you headed for the door.

“Really, you’re really leaving?” He called out to you.

“Yeah, this is too much,” you replied without turning to look at him again, “I can’t do this anymore. This is over.”

“Okay, fine,” he began. You could hear the slightest twinge of hurt in his voice, “Maybe call me sometime when you’re done being fucking crazy, maybe when you get over your fear of intimacy.”

“Just because I don’t want to be with you, doesn’t mean I have intimacy issues,” you replied. You tried to stop yourself from saying more, knowing that the man was pretty into you and feeling a bit hurt that you kept treating him like shit. But, the words didn’t stop. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I just don’t like you, that maybe I really am just using you?”

“Wow, that ex of yours…” Rob went on, trying to find anyway he could to press your buttons, “he really did a number on you, didn’t he?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re so fucking damaged, it’s not even funny,” Rob said bluntly. You felt your face heat up, tears welling up as you faced him. “This whole time I thought you were just trying to ignore the fact that you might like me a little, but you are actually that messed up.”

“Go fuck yourself,” you spat. Your anger had built up, seething now that he was calling you out on this.

“Hey, it would be a lot less drama for me.”

“You don’t know me, so stop acting like you do.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t know you. I don’t even think you do, Lola.” He used your moniker carefully. Making sure to drag it out so that you definitely took note of the fact that he used it, despite the way he had avoided it all this time. “It’s fitting though. Lola… a fake name for someone who doesn’t even like herself.”

“You’re wrong,” you argued. You knew you should just walk away, before this got any worse. But you kept at it, wanting to remind him that you were perfectly okay. You didn’t need his approval. “I like myself just fine, you’re just saying this crap because you’re not getting your way.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” he replied, still looking hurt. “Because, when the next guy comes along, I guarantee you’ll fuck that up too.”

“I can’t believe I let myself get involved with you. I should’ve stayed away the minute you called me a whore. Because, apparently, it’s okay for you to fuck around with someone, but I do it and I’m the damaged one.”

“No, you deny that you have actual feelings, that’s why I know you’re messed up.”

“I’m sorry that you want me to have feelings for you Rob. I don’t know what you’re looking for exactly, but it’s not me. I know what I want, and this…” you motioned between the two of you calmly, “this isn’t it.”

“Then, I guess you should go.”

You stared at him; his blue eyes watery, those lips turned down as he waited for you to walk out. You nodded slowly and turned away from him, walking away finally.

The whole thing was toxic really. You were not the type of person to sleep with someone that you didn’t have feelings for. The idea of it though had excited you. You figured Rob was the right person to test it out with. He was usually kind and attentive, and while you had said otherwise, you did actually like him.

It was the intimacy that was the issue here. He had blatantly called you out on it, and you tried to dodge it the best you could. You didn’t want anyone to know why you were so fucked up. You also didn’t want anyone to lay claim to you now that you were single.

You knew that he was right, about everything. You just didn’t need for him to know that he was right.

So, you walked away from it; knowing that he was growing too attached and you were beginning to develop feelings for him no matter how hard you tried to avoid it. It wasn’t what you wanted right now, and maybe it was best to end it before either of you got hurt.


	12. Gasoline and Matches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader should be done with Rob after the way he talked to her. But, she’s having a hard time trying to forget him. Maybe he was right about some things, and maybe Reader isn’t ready to let him go just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is an AU and I have said before how much I enjoy writing a-hole characters who are messed up individuals. The fun part is letting them be jerks to each other and then trying to find a way to fix them.

“You know, the sex is great,” you explained. You were sat with Briana, having lunch a couple of days after you and Rob’s argument. You had spent most of the time relaying the entire scenario to her; the way he had taken it in a different direction, you had called him out on his inability to keep it casual, and the inevitable blowout that ended with him calling you ‘damaged’. Briana was your best friend, and you valued her opinions more than anyone else’s. You hoped that talking to her about all this could help you decide what to do. “But, he just keeps pushing it. I go back for more because we have such a good time together, and without fail, he turns around and says really shitty things to me. I just- I don’t think we can keep doing this.”

“I’d be pissed if he talked to me like that too,” she said.

“I’m actually… not though,” you mumbled as you picked at your meal.

“Really?” She asked in disbelief. She studied your face for a moment, trying to decided if you had lost your mind. “You’re not pissed that this guy has repeatedly been an asshole to you and apparently can’t tell the difference between a casual relationship and an actual relationship?”

“No. Everything he said was true,” you replied, “He’s pretty spot on and he knows me better than he thinks he does.”

“So, what, you’re just incapable of expressing actual emotions?” She teased.

You looked at her, pursing your lips at the fact that she was also pretty spot on with her joke. “I don’t know. I mean, I liked the guy. I really did. And… maybe I know that I may have led him on without meaning to.”

“Oh Lola…” Bri began, shaking her head at you, “I encouraged that whole thing because he’s cute and seemed really nice. I thought you just needed to get laid.”

“I did,” you went on, “and it was great. I don’t know what happened honestly.”

“I mean, it was obvious to everyone else that he was into you as more than just a fling. I thought maybe you saw that.”

“I did, that’s the fucked up part. I noticed pretty early on that he might be more into me. And, I think that I may have led him to believe that I was more interested than I was.”

“You know, and I don’t mean to cross a line here, but I kind of also thought you were more into him.”

“What?”

“Come on, the way you were with him? You gave up your name to him, after the first time you slept with him. He has your phone number. No one has your phone number.” She treated it as if you had given out state secrets to the man, which made sense considering you were so secretive and cautious, you didn’t give out your phone number to just anyone. “You dropped everything to be with him; Tyler mostly. You ditched out on me a few times when he called and you gave up some of the best shifts at work. When that fight happened with Tyler, you went to him. I mean, maybe I’m reading it wrong, but in my general knowledge about fuck buddies, you’re not supposed to be that involved.”

It was different when someone on the outside actually said it out loud. You breathed in deeply, taking in her words for a moment.

“I tried to not like him, you know? I thought he was just some guy looking to get laid. So, I thought it could work. Because I didn’t want to like him. I just wanted to be in control of something for once.”

“So you do like him?”

“I don’t know. Like, I’m pretty torn up over the way he talked to me, mostly because I know he was right. I still can’t stop thinking about him.”

“So, you want to know if you’re completely crazy for still being into the guy after the way he talked to you?”

“Yeah, if anyone understands crazy, it’s you,” you joked.

Briana smiled softly at you, “All I do know is that, despite all the drama, you’ve been really happy lately. When he shows up at the bar, you’re a different person.”

“We don’t even know each other,” you pointed out, “like, I literally scold him for sharing too much information with me.”

“Because you started this whole thing knowing that you just wanted someone to fool around with.”

“Yes, and he knew that by the way, rules were established and reestablished.”

Briana rolled her eyes as you said it, “You and your rules.”

“What? My rules haven’t failed me ever.”

“Yeah, what was that? The one about you not giving away your name to random guys.”

“Okay, that one was my fault.” you admitted.

“And, thinking about having a fling in general, with a customer by the way.”

“Okay, there’s that one too…”

“I just- as a bystander looking in on all of this, I feel like you’re the one who let it go too far.” You looked at Briana, realizing that she meant what she said. You felt guilty now for the fact that it was true. You had obviously noticed the way Rob was with you, and you had kept the whole thing going despite the fact that you knew he was treating it as something else.

“So you think I led him on?” You asked.  
“You’re my best friend, Lola, and I stand by you no matter what usually. But, even you know that you did.”

“Did it give him the right to talk to me like that though?”

Briana shrugged, “I don’t know. Think about what it’s like for him. Obviously, he let himself get in too deep. He likes you, we all know that. Sometimes, we lash out on people we care about when we don’t get our way.”

“Obviously, these things can’t work out. Eventually, someone develops feeling, and it all goes to shit.”

“You should have noticed a long time ago that he was actually into you.”

“I did notice,” you replied, ”I also knew that I was into him. I mean, I’d be lying if I said I never felt jealous or ignored. It shouldn’t have been that way.”

“Oh Lola,” Briana sighed, “maybe you need to just forget about him, stay away from him. Someone is going to get hurt.”

“I think we’ve already gone down that rabbit hole,” you replied, “at least, I’m pretty sure he has.”

“What are you going to do?” She asked.

You chuckled, knowing damn well that you had no idea of what to do now. It would be for the best to just drop it, pretend it never happened, pretend that you never met him. Even though he had said some horrible things, he wasn’t exactly wrong. You were pretty damaged. You were also unable to stop thinking about him.

“I think he and I could be really bad for each other,” you responded with a soft laugh, “but I can’t go on pretending that I wasn’t just as terrible to him.”

“Well, I suppose you have some things to think about,” Briana replied.

You hadn’t heard from Rob in a few days, not since the fight. He never tried to call or text, he never even showed up at your work to bother you. You figured this was because he was either that pissed off that he now wanted to pretend you didn’t exist, or maybe he felt bad about how he had talked to you. You sort of hoped it was the latter.

Although you had come to the realization that you were just as guilty in this mess as he was, you also remained proud enough to not try to contact him, no matter how badly you wanted to. The truth was, you still couldn’t stop thinking about him. Sure, you’d replay the fight in your mind; you recalled how he had pointed out how damaged you were, how he knew you were so messed up that you hid behind a lie, how you managed to deny any semblance of actual feelings that you may have. But, you were so stuck in your ways, you were not about to be the one to try to fix whatever it was that the two of you had broken; that is, if there was something there at all in the first place.

“You’re right,” you said, “you’re always right.”

* * *

You went through the week, still thinking of him a lot. It all ate away at you constantly, and you hated that you had found yourself in this position. You were never meant to become so wrapped up in anyone. You had left your shitty relationship and focused solely on just having fun, you weren’t supposed to feel so upset when your fling managed to crash and burn.

You showed up at the bar a bit early, thanks to the mandatory staff meeting that Kim had called for. You sat next to Bri and Matt, looking around at the rest of the staff that you hardly ever worked with. Kim got right to the point.

“I’ve had a few bands that play here often show interest in doing residencies,” she began. Already, you knew exactly what she was getting at. It wasn’t common for her to go this route, but there happened to be a couple of bands that played here often enough and draw in a large enough crowd to where it would make sense. “So, starting this weekend, I have one band starting their residency. They’ll be playing twice a week for the next couple of months. If it goes well, I may add other bands who are interested.”

“What band?” Briana asked. You glanced over at her, and she gave you a knowing look.

“Louden Swain,” Kim replied. “They’re one of my biggest draws. They bring in a lot of business for us. So, I’m just going to ask you to welcome them, if you haven’t already. As usual, Lola and Bri will work on the nights they play, the two of you handle those crowds better than anyone I know. Also, let’s try to keep it professional around here.”

You could feel Kim stare right at you as she said the last sentence. You felt your face flush and did all you could to avoid her stare. Briana continued to look at you sympathetically. You hadn’t even decided how to handle the falling out with Rob, you also didn’t know what he was even thinking at this point, you sure as hell didn’t know how you were going to handle seeing him twice a week. It also didn’t help that every one of your co-workers and your boss were very aware that you had been engaged in some sort of relationship with him; and every other member of his band knew as well.

Kim left when she had finished her spiel, leaving you to continue to stare at Briana in an attempt to process what was going on.

“Do I have to quit?” You asked, only half joking.

“Ouch,’ she replied. “I did not see that coming.”

“Jesus, Bri. How am I supposed to work around him twice a week for the unforeseeable future?”

“Well, I figure if you both want to keep your gigs, you’ll figure out how to stop fighting with each other and get along.”

“Thanks mom,” you chuckled.

“I’m serious,” Bri added, “why can’t you just talk to him? Like, for real talk to him? Sit down and have an actual conversation about everything without letting the whole sleeping together thing get in the way.”

“I can’t control myself when I’m around him. I’m also bad at communicating.”

“Well, learn to,” She said sternly. ”You’re both so horrible to each other, despite the mind blowing sex you apparently have. You need to talk and figure out what it is that both of you really want from each other. Maybe that’s the only way you’re going to fix anything.”

* * *

As decided upon, you found yourself at work with Briana that first weekend. The band was there, setting up, and you took note of the way Rob completely ignored you. He had done this before; threw a fit when you walked out on him in the middle of the night and then tried to act as if you didn’t exist. This time, you were a little pissed off given the fact that he had been the one to say some pretty shitty things to you, regardless of how true they were.

You tried not to watch him work while you should have been focusing on your own work, but you had come to terms with your attraction to him a long time ago. Even when you weren’t talking or had gone weeks without even seeing each other, you couldn’t stop looking at him or wondering what he might be thinking.

“So,” Briana began, startling you from your thoughts, “how weird is this going to be?”

“Well, I was sort of hoping we could both be adults and not make this weird at all.”

“I mean, he seems to be doing his part. I think this is the first time he’s ever walked in here and not immediately checked you out.”

You said nothing, just continued to work as you still fought the urge to look at him again.

The night went on; you and Briana working as usual. You listened to the band play, tonight being treated with some new songs that you hadn’t heard before. You tried to listen to Rob as he introduced the new songs; going on about the new album they had been working on, something that you knew nothing about. They played a handful of songs that he may have talked about ahead of time, it was honestly difficult to follow him given how busy you were getting drinks out to people.

“We’ve got one final song for you,” you heard him say finally. You took a second to have a break, turning your attention to the stage. “It will be on our new album, and I wrote it about how shitty it is to fall in love. This is called ‘ _Roll Me Over_ ’.”

You perked up at the introduction, sort of curious over the idea of it, and also sort of concerned at what he was getting at. The band went right into the song and you paid close attention now that the customers seemed to be focused on the stage.

_“Girl you come and say my name_

_You come and anything_

_Anything you say I melt for you_

_When you stare into my eyes,_

_You give me exercise_

_All the pain and lies, I follow you”_

You found yourself swaying to the music, impressed with the song already. You smiled when you thought about how talented these guys really were. You had never taken the time to get to know Rob well enough to know much about his music or his lyrics. To you, that would be getting to know him too well. The song went on and after about the third verse, you began to feel a bit uncomfortable. The lyrics sort of hit home and the way Rob sang the song and visibly put a lot of emotion into the performance, you may have thought you knew what this particular song was about. It wasn’t until he glanced up in your direction during the final chorus, making eye contact with you as you found it impossible to turn away, that you realized you were right.

You hoped no one else noticed that moment. The last thing in the world that you wanted was to be the subject of a song; whether it be a love song or a song about how effed up love is.

When the band had finished their set, the guys hung around the bar as they usually did. You let Briana take their table, knowing that you might not be as welcome right now. You put your focus on other customers, staying busy to the point where you had almost forgotten that the guys were even there. At one point, you approached a man at the bar, not really paying much attention until you glanced up at him to see that it was Rob. You felt your breath catch, your nerves suddenly going haywire as you realized you didn’t know what to do.

“Hey,” you said quietly, “can I get you something?”

“The usual, if that’s okay.” You nodded, sort of surprised by the softness in his voice. The last time you had spoken to each other; he had yelled and sounded so angry with you. This was different, and it made you uncomfortable. You handed him his beer, turning quickly to walk away, now realizing you maybe didn’t want to be face to face with him just yet.

“Bartender,” he said as you turned from him. You couldn’t help but grin at the way he remembered that your real name was off limits here. And since he was always so against using the name Lola, you found the used of the title of your profession adorable when he said it. “Are we- are we okay?”

You stopped in your tracks, not turning to face him just yet. All you could do was consider his question. You wanted things to be okay between you, but pretending that the fight that had happened didn’t actually happen was not the way you wanted this to go. You knew at this point that you either had to walk away from him or take Briana’s advice. Given the way you had been thinking of him and the way you had let that fight stick in your mind for so long, you decided it might be for the best to hear him out and hope he would hear you out as well.

“I don’t know,” you replied.

“I was an asshole,” he began. You then turned to face him, not sure if you really wanted to hear another apology, but sort of wanting to hear what he had to say. “I’ve been nothing but an asshole to you. I’ve never talked to anyone like that before, and I don’t know why I did that to you.”

You said nothing, only nodded at him to show that you were listening.

“I’m sorry,” he added.

You put a hand up to stop him then. “Please, stop apologizing.”

“I know,” he said, averting his eyes from you as he looked guilty of something, “all I do is treat you like shit and come back and apologize.”

“No, I mean, please just don’t do this here.”

He glanced back up to you, now looking hopeful at your words.

“Maybe we should talk,” you began. “I mean, really talk. Because you and I aren’t very good at it, and I think a lot of what we do to each other could be avoided if we just talked.”

“Okay,” he said. He smiled softly at you and you couldn’t help but take note of the way his eyes lit up at the thought of it. “I’d like that. I have a lot to say to you, and I have a lot to apologize for.”

“Look, I’m off as soon as you guys are done here. We can talk then.”

“I’d like that.” He lifted his beer, tipping it in your direction with that same soft smile before turning from you and heading back to his table.

It was strange how you managed to keep your cool with him after everything. You thought you’d be furious upon talking to him again, but in reality, you only felt better about things. Maybe it was a bad idea, or maybe it was the only way the two of you could ever manage to work together like this. Either way, you wanted to talk to him. You wanted to know why the two of you treated each other the way you did when you obviously worked so well together, in bed at least.

You considered how messed up the two of you were together. You did nothing but use each other and then treat each other terribly. One of you always tried to draw the line, and the other always managed to cross that line. He was trouble, hell, maybe you were trouble; and the two of you were bad for each other.

‘Gasoline and matches’, your mother would probably say. You decided just then that it didn’t matter. You couldn’t stay away from him, and you honestly didn’t want to.


	13. Stay a Little Longer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Rob are both aware that things between them aren’t working and will probably never work the way that they want them to. So, why can’t they stay away from each other?

At the end of your shift, you closed the bar up; Rob watching you as he waited around. You motioned to him letting him know that you were ready to leave and he followed you out to your car, both of you walking quietly. It was nice to have this moment with him again. Regardless of the fact that he had been a colossal dick, you had missed him. You told yourself that you had missed the fooling around, but just having him near you was enough to make you feel relaxed again. You both got into you car, as you usually did when you left the bar together.

“My place?” He asked as you pulled out of the parking lot.

“No,” you replied as you focused on driving, “we’ll go to my place. Bad things happen between us when I go home with you.”

“You know, if we go to your place, you can’t sneak out on me in the middle of the night,” he joked, smiling over at you. You tried not to smile in return, still feeling a bit ticked off over how he had treated you, but that smile and those blue eyes made it impossible for you to let your anger be known.

“We’re talking tonight,” you reminded him. “That’s it.”

“Okay, I get it. That’s cool.” He turned his attention from you, staring out the window as you drove the rest of the way to your place in silence. You had lived with Briana for a while, and only recently decided it was time to leave and get your own place. Luckily, you had managed to save up most of your tip money over the years in an account that Tyler never had access to. The money came in handy when it was time to get your apartment. It wasn’t anything fancy, and it wasn’t really your own; but it was enough for you.

You led Rob to your place, still walking in silence that was becoming almost uncomfortable at this point. You knew you both had a lot to say to each other, but it had to wait until you were at least in the privacy of your home.

“Hey, this is nice,” Rob said as he looked around your apartment. You chuckled, tossing your keys and purse onto a chair.

“Oh yeah, I’m living the high life.”

“Really,” he said, “it’s cozy. And, hey, at least you have your own place.”

“True. I haven’t lived on my own in a long time. It is nice to have it all to myself.”

“I can’t help but feel as if you’ve broken one of your rules tonight,” Rob mumbled as he wandered around, checking everything out.

“What?”

“You know, all those rules you have…” he trailed off, “I imagined that one of them might have been to not bring random men to your home.”

“You’re right,” you pointed out, “but, I also can’t help but feel like you’re no longer just some random guy.”

He glanced over to you, giving you a soft smile.

“Maybe we should talk?” He offered.

“Yeah, we should. I just don’t want this to turn into another fight.”

“I know. I just- I don’t want this to end the way it did. I was horrible to you, and there’s no excuse for it.”

“You can’t just apologize every time you treat me like crap and expect me to accept it.”

“I know, and I don’t expect you to. It’s still something that I need to do. Because you didn’t deserve for me to talk to you like that.”

“What? You called me out on some things that were absolutely true,” you said, “I’m really not as hurt as you might think I am. But, I also know that we are really bad for each other. All we do is try to have fun together, but someone always gets hurt. This isn’t ever going to work.”

“I’m not trying to talk you into giving me another shot with… whatever it was that we were. I know it didn’t work, and it won’t.”

“Then what do you want?” You asked. “Why are we here when we both know this was all a terrible idea?”

“I just- Look, I’m not making excuses for how I acted. But, I think you should know that maybe I was just letting myself get confused by it all. I understand what it is that you wanted, you were very clear about that, and maybe I shouldn’t have agreed to it knowing that maybe I felt a little differently.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“You told me your name,” he pointed out, “you insisted that you didn’t give out your name to anyone, especially guys you meet at work. I just- I don’t know, I felt like when you finally did decide to let me in on that secret, that maybe you didn’t think of me as just someone you were messing around with.”

“You thought I started to like you?”

“Well, you did tell me that you liked me at one point.”

“So, you’re saying that I led you on?”

“I’m saying that I misunderstood.”

“Even when I specifically told you what I expected… what I wanted?”

“Yes. You just- you kept coming back to me, even when I was a complete asshole. That night that I brought that girl to the bar, the way I talked to you, I knew what was coming. I know I was going to either get pummeled by your security or you were going to retaliate. When you dumped that beer on me, I let you do it because I knew I deserved it. The minute I said what I said, I knew it was over. But, you came back. And I tried to be so good for you. You had me under your thumb and I was happy to be there.”

“Yeah, but then you messed that up too.”

“Yeah, but you told me that you got jealous seeing me with her. I acted that way because I was jealous and you admitted that you were jealous too. What am I supposed to do with all of that?”

“I don’t know,” you replied, knowing full well that you had done your part in leading him on, even if it was unknowingly. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I shouldn’t have felt jealous at all. All I wanted was someone I could have fun with, and we had that, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. I thought you knew that.”

“I did. But, I like you. I couldn’t help that. I thought that you started to like me too at one point and I was upset with feeling like I was being jerked around.”

“I wasn’t trying to do that. You knew what that was. Maybe I’m not the only one with some serious issues.”

“Maybe you’re not wrong about that.”

“Honestly, I understand how maybe I let you believe that I wanted something else. And, maybe I started to feel something for you too. But, I can’t go there right now and I was an idiot for thinking we could keep doing this without any issues. Especially when I was well aware of the fact that you weren’t on the same page as I was. I knew that you were wanting something else, and I just kept pushing it. I’m sorry too.”

“You were right though,” he began, “We had a plan, which I agreed on, and I’m the one who complicated it all. It was for the best to end it and I don’t blame you for walking away. I just wanted to say this because I feel like it was never an option before; but I like you, I have for a while, and I didn’t want to be involved in whatever all of that was because it killed me to think that you were with me and when you left, you could be with someone else. I was jealous and I should have just backed out when I knew that I couldn’t handle that type of relationship. This doesn’t make up for me calling you names and telling you that you’re damaged. That was shitty of me, and I can’t fix any of that. But, I felt that you needed to know, and I really am sorry. I’m sorry I started to fall for you and I didn’t know how to handle it knowing that you couldn’t feel the same way I guess.”

“Will you please stop saying that you fell for me?”

“I thought we were being honest.”

“Yeah, but, you barely know me. You can’t fall for someone like that that you don’t know.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he laughed, “maybe I’m just realizing that I could have fallen a lot harder for you, if you had let me.”

“I couldn’t do that. I really tried hard to keep it what it was supposed to be.”

“I don’t mean to keep pushing it, but I have to know; if things had gone differently, if we had met somewhere else, if you had been single then; would we be having this discussion?”

“I don’t know.”

“Seriously, if you had run into me at a grocery store; because apparently that’s where you go to meet relationship material, and you were unattached at the time, would we be in this mess right now?”

“I think if things had been different, maybe we could have been a lot better off.”

“Circumstance is a bitch,” he chuckled.

“Why are you so caught up on this anyway?”

“Because I like to think that maybe you could have fallen for me,” he said softly, “if things had been a little different.”

“Mr. Rockstar over here,” you joked, “you could have any girl you want, why are you making such a big deal out of a bartender? I expected you to be moved on the last time I walked out on you.”

“You’re not just a bartender,” he replied. He stepped closer to you until he was inches from you. He brought his hand up to rest on your hips, fingertips finding their way beneath your top so that he could tease at your skin. He looked at you with the same fire in his eyes that he always did when he wanted you. Although you knew it could only end badly again, you let him touch you; your skin tingling with excitement that only he made you feel. “You’re my bartender.” He added, leaning in closer.

You felt his breath, hot against your mouth. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him, have him touch you, make you feel the way that only he could. But, you tried to restrain yourself this time.

“I belong to you, huh?”

“You don’t belong to anyone,” he corrected you, “which is why this is so frustrating for me.”

“Me being single and free to do whatever and whomever I want is frustrating?”

“It is when I want you so badly,” he whispered, “and I can’t have you.”

You knew you should stop this. You knew you needed to step away, not let the situation escalate. He had openly admitted to you that he felt very strongly for you, and there was no way this was going to go well for either of you.

“I’m sorry,” you replied honestly. “I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“I know.” He stared down at your lips, and you involuntarily licked them. “Maybe we should walk away from each other,” he said. You felt his thumb tease your hipbone and you sucked in a breath. “You said so yourself, we’re bad for each other.”

“Maybe,” you hummed. You reached up to touch him finally, letting your hands run down his chest. You had thought about touching him all night, even if you knew it was a bad idea. You thought about what to say, and the only words you could muster in that moment were the ones you really shouldn’t have said. ”But all the best things are bad for us.”

You ran a hand up his chest, snaking it around to the back of his head and fisting his hair. You pulled him toward you, letting your lips meet his. Immediately, you felt a surge of excitement, the same feeling you always had from being with him. You kissed him roughly, as if you had been starved for it. You parted your lips, letting his tongue into swirl against your own. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you in closer as he kissed you back. Just as it became a bit heated, he pulled away suddenly, stepping back to break contact with you completely.

“Y/N, I don’t think I can do this. Not the way you want it anyway.”

“What do you mean?”

“You want just the physical part of this, and I get it. I understand what you want. But, I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want more.”

“What do you want?” You asked.

“I want you. I want the same thing we’ve had this entire time, but I don’t want to sit around wondering where you are and what you’re doing. I don’t want to think about how jealous I am knowing that you could be doing the same things with someone else.”

“You’re calling me a slut again?”

“Not at all,” he replied, “but I don’t want to share you. I don’t want to even think it’s a possibility that I’d have to share you.”

“Hmm, sounds like you want a relationship.”

“So sue me,” he grinned. “At least I’m being honest now.”

“I can’t promise you that,” you said after a moment, “but I can promise you that I haven’t been with anyone else. I can’t imagine that there’s anyone out there who can make me feel the way that you do. Isn’t that enough for you?”

“You’re so fucking frustrating,” he replied before kissing you again. “So what? You’re only messing around with me, but I’m not supposed to take that as anything more?”

“What can I say? I don’t want a boyfriend, I don’t even want to have this kind of relationship; but you’re addicting,” you whispered as you ghosted your lips against his. “I want to hate you, but I don’t.”

“You have no idea how badly I want to hate you as well.”

The tension between the two of you had escalated by this point. During most of this conversation; you had your hands on each other, your lips meeting in heated kisses. At this moment, you were already working at his jeans without really realizing it. You took a moment to look away from his stare, gasping when you felt his hand against your breast . You had been so caught up in the discussion, you didn’t even realize you were both acting on the intensity of the moment. If nothing else, a little disagreement definitely brought out the best sex between the two of you.

Rob stepped back again, grabbing the hem of your shirt so that he could lift it off over your head. You let him, and he took over your job of removing his jeans; letting them fall at his feet as you reached for him, palming at him. He moaned at the contact and moved back in to kiss you again.

His lips left yours, trailing down your neck and chest, now placing kisses at your breast. You gripped a hand in his hair, letting your head fall back as you moaned at the sensation.

“This isn’t how tonight was supposed to go,” you muttered.

“I know,” he replied as he looked back up to you, “I was supposed to tell you to fuck off, but I ended up apologizing.”

“I was supposed to end this, for good.”

“You still can,” he said. He pressed his mouth against yours again and his hands went for your jeans, working expertly to undo them quickly.

“Oh god,” you mumbled as he worked his hand into your jeans, rubbing at your core gently. “I don’t think I can.”

You put your arms back around his shoulders, bracing yourself as your legs shook from the way his fingers worked inside of you. Your breathing picked up, and you closed your eyes as you felt the buildup come quickly.

“We should stop,” you said.

“You want me to stop?”

You shook your head immediately, knowing that it had been a stupid thought. This was already happening, and while it shouldn’t have happened again, you didn’t really want it to stop.

“I need you,” you whispered against his ear. Your body began to tingle, your breathing becoming more rapid the closer he brought you to your release. You wanted to cum, but you wanted to have him inside you again.

“You need me to what?” He teased.

“Take me to bed,” you replied.

“And?”

“Please, fuck me,” you breathed out. He removed his fingers from you, causing you to gasp at the sudden loss of contact.

“Are you sure you want to go there, Y/N?”

“I don’t know,” you mumbled, trying to consider if any of this was a good idea, “all of this has been such a mess. I don’t want to hurt you. But I also know that I want you.”

“I don’t want to keep hurting you either. I’ve been a jerk. I can’t promise you that I’m not going to let feelings get involved though.”

“Okay,” you replied, “so, where does that put us?”

Rob shrugged, chuckling at the strangeness of it all.

“I don’t even know with us anymore.”

“Well,” you said coyly. You moved in on him, wrapping your arms around his neck again as you pulled him in for another long, heated kiss. Your body was still tingling from the excitement of having him touch you. Maybe you shouldn’t go there, but you did want him. “Maybe we can fool around tonight and worry about it in the morning.”

You stared up at him, giving him your best ‘come hither’ eyes, knowing that he couldn’t resist. He bit his lip as he reached around you. You felt him begin to unhook your bra and you knew you had him. You also knew that you couldn’t resist him. What was supposed to be just a conversation about how fucked up the two of you had let things get, had seamlessly turned into the same situation that had gotten you in this mess to begin with. 

* * *

You laid there next to him, suddenly aware that he had been right about one thing. For the first time in this relationship, you weren’t going to walk out on him in the middle of the night. You cringed as you watched him sleep, knowing that you didn’t have it in you to wake him up and kick him out. You had been horrible to him enough as it was. This might end up being the first time you had ever spent the night with each other, even if you felt it wasn’t something that you wanted.

You liked the guy, you really did. If you didn’t like him, you certainly wouldn’t be messing around with him, especially not when you had been in a relationship. Rob definitely made you feel very differently than any man had ever made you feel. You knew you stuck to sleeping with him and only him because he made you feel amazing each time. Honestly, you used only him because you felt comfortable with him. Any other time a random dude hit on you; you would quickly shoot them down and even get Matt involved to keep the creeps away.

With Rob; there was a different kind of connection. You felt safe with him. Safe enough that you had let him walk you to your car after work after only knowing him for a short time. You felt safe enough to give him your name, your phone number, your trust. He was also annoyingly attentive, often sweet, and sometimes a massive jerk. All of these things kept bringing you back to him. You easily brushed off his outbursts and rudeness when you realized he was acting out of jealousy and irritation over not knowing exactly where the two of you stood. Maybe it wasn’t healthy, but you knew he didn’t mean any harm by it.

Not that you would openly admit any of it; but you did feel something for him. If you absolutely didn’t care about him even a little, you certainly wouldn’t be giving him these chances to make up for the way he spoke to you. If you didn’t like him, you wouldn’t be here right now, watching him sleep next to you in your bed.

You remembered how you had told him that he was addicting. No matter how much you should hate him, no matter how much you wanted to; you couldn’t.

You reached over to him as he slept, letting your hand run against his bare chest, fingertips lingering briefly as you watched him. This wasn’t ideal, having him sleep over, especially when you made it a point to leave right after sex at his place. But, you decided that you wouldn’t kick him out and you wouldn’t even leave the room to sleep somewhere else for the night. Your fear of intimacy was real. He had called you out on that. You hated that, right now, when you were still so adamant about keeping things strictly physical, you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to wake up to him every day.

He stirred as you were lost in thought, breaking you from your daze.

“Hey,” he mumbled, looking at you with sleep-filled eyes. “You’re still awake?”

“Having a hard time falling asleep,” you replied. You cautiously moved closer to him, resting your head against his chest as you continued to look up at him.

“Want me to leave?” He asked.

“It’s really late. And I’m the one that drove you here.”

“I can call a cab.”

You shook your head at him. “No, it’s okay. You can stay here. I just haven’t had anyone stay the night like this.”

He gave you a sleepy grin, reaching up to run a hand through your hair. “Whatever you need to make you feel comfortable, just tell me. I’m used to sleeping alone.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Don’t be,” he said, “this was as much my fault as it was yours.”

“I don’t know that I can let this happen again.”

“What?” he asked, raising a brow at you. “You mean the whole, ‘us fucking every time we talk’ thing?”

“Not that. The whole, ‘sleeping next to each other’ thing.”

He looked down at you, giving you a confused look.

“I mean, sleeping together is one thing,” you began, “but sleeping next to each other seems a lot more intimate.”

He studied you for a moment, smiling as if he understood what you meant, even if the thought of it sounded crazy even to you.

“Like I said, I can leave.”

You grabbed his hand that he had rested against his chest, suddenly feeling afraid of the idea of him leaving right now. If you continued to play this game; walk out on him each time or even kick him out if you were at your place, how long would you have him before he decided that it was really too much for him?

“Stay,” you urged. You glanced up again, making contact with those beautiful blue eyes that drew you in. “Just tonight.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, I’m not saying that this means I’ve changed my mind about what I want, I don’t know… just stay.”

He didn’t reply, he probably assumed it was best not to push the issue. He closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around your back, pulling you in closer as you nuzzled against his chest. This was certainly new. Even though your nerves began to go haywire, it still felt oddly comforting to have him there holding you. You steadied yourself, trying to talk yourself down from losing it and deciding to throw him out. You closed your eyes, letting yourself get comfortable against the heat of his skin. It’s not like you had to ever let this happen again, but you figured it was worth giving it a chance.


	14. I'm Not the One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Reader shouldn’t have let Rob stay the night. Maybe she’s the one complicating things. Everything is tested when Rob seems to be losing interest. It really shouldn’t bother her so much.

You woke up to the feeling of someone touching you. You felt warm lips against your neck, a hand running across your chest, the warmth of another body close to yours. You gasped, eyes shooting open when you realized you weren’t alone. As a reaction to the surprise, you pushed him away, startled when you realized it was Rob in bed with you. The daylight broke through the window of your room and you took a moment to gather yourself, trying to make sense of why he was here.

You had brought him home last night. You had talked and ended up in bed together. You were the one who told him to stay.

“I’m sorry,” he said, breaking you from your sleepy daze. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You took deep breaths, grounding yourself now that you remembered what had happened.

“It’s okay. I just forgot you were here.”

He reached over again to touch you, moving slowly so not to catch you off-guard again.

“Is this okay?” He asked groggily as he ran fingertips along your naked breast. He brushed against your nipple, causing you to gasp at the contact.

You nodded at him, “yeah, it’s okay.”

He took that as his cue to lean in, letting his lips meet yours in a slow kiss. His hand wandered, touching you and feeling you. You immediately felt yourself get worked up as he trailed his hand down between your legs. You moaned when his fingers found the spot that you wanted him most, your body writhing beneath the contact. He teased you briefly, watching you now as you let out soft moans and gasps as he fingered you. When he had you worked up enough, you grabbed onto his arm, pulling him toward you to let him know that you were ready.

Still in a sleep-filled haze, you laid there as he moved on top of you; his lips moved against yours lazily, his hand now running through your hair gently as he pushed into you.

“Oh god,” you whispered against his mouth. He began to thrust into you slowly, his hips rocking against yours in an excruciatingly slow pace. You watched him, turned on by how sleepy he looked as he fucked into you. His eyes were closed, mouth agape, letting out quiet moans as he moved against you.

You reached up, gripping onto the back of his neck to pull him in for another kiss. He obliged, panting against your mouth as you let out a soft hum of approval. You moved your hands down to grip his back, trying to quicken his pace even though it already felt amazing. When he realized what you were trying to do, he grabbed your hands, moving them away from his body and pinning them over your head against the bed. He looked at you, making eye contact as he held you there, still thrusting into you slowly. You didn’t object. Instead, you wrapped your legs around him, enjoying the feel of having him so deeply within you.

Maybe it the fact that you were still half-asleep, or maybe it was because this felt so fucking good; but you didn’t say anything, didn’t stop him even though this was the kind of sex you had tried to avoid with him. It was slow and intimate. Neither of you broke eye contact as he pushed into you. You knew you should tell him to not make this so intimate, but you couldn’t form the words, you didn’t want to.

Your head fell back as you let out a loud moan, already feeling the buildup of your climax. Rob groaned in return, moving in to kiss and nip at the skin on your neck. His hips began to move faster now, his hands grasping yours harder as he picked up pace.

“Rob,” you moaned as you felt the warmth in your core build up. You gave him a sleepy grin when he leaned up to look at you again. He let go of your hands, freeing himself up to reach down and grab your hips so that he could pull you toward him with each thrust. You cried out now that you could feel him deeper. You let your hands move beside you, gripping onto your bed sheets as your release built up gradually.

He kissed you again, still fucking into you, only now a bit faster and harder, still pulling your body toward him. You let go of the sheets, wrapping your arms around him and letting your fingertips dig into his back. You were writhing against him, moaning louder and breathing heavy. The buildup was so slow and when you finally felt like you were there, you lost all your senses, now begging him to push you over the edge.

“Please,” you begged, “Rob, please.” It was intense and you felt your eyes tear up as you tried to encourage him to finish. He said nothing, only groaned as he picked up his pace, still gripping your hip and pulling you toward him as he slammed into you. “Oh, fuck,” you moaned. You felt tears run down your face and you kept your head back, eyes closed, gasping as you remained right on the edge.

With just a few more thrusts into you, you lost it. You cried out, gripping harder onto his back as you came. You tightened your legs around him, leaning up to now to look at him, your eyes making contact again. You gasped and moaned as he worked you through your release; watching him as he came. He groaned, pressing his forehead against yours as his movements stuttered. You could hear him praise you under his breath, his thrusting slowing down. It took some time for you both to completely slow your movements, still moving against each other after you had both climaxed. Your chest hurt from breathing so hard, your throat sore as you only assumed that you had been very vocal.

He collapsed on top of you finally, head pressed into the crook of your neck as you ran your hand through his hair. You reached up with your free hand, wiping the tears from your face when you realized they were there. _Why were you crying?_ You felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing that he had seen that, more embarrassed that you had allowed this to get so intense. He leaned up just then, looking at you with a loopy grin as he watched you.

“Was it that good?” He asked. He reached up, running his thumb along your face to help you wipe away the tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, face flushing when you realized that he had in fact seen it.

“Don’t be,” he chuckled, “I’m flattered knowing that I was that good.”

“That was intense.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed, kissing you softly on the lips, “morning sex is always the best sex.”

“I had no idea.”

“You would if you stayed the night more often, or let me stay the night.”

You laughed at him, letting out a deep breath as you focused still on trying to come down. That had been the most intense sex the two of you had ever had, so much that you swear you felt actual emotions during it. You still felt sleepy, your body buzzing from your climax, and you closed your eyes,exhausted now that you were a mess and your body was worn out and relaxed. You laid there with a grin on your face, not even caring that he had just made love to you again. All you knew was that it had been amazing, and you really didn’t think anyone could ever make you feel the way that he did.

He had moved off of you, resting next to you with his arm draped over your body. He placed lazy kisses against your skin and you couldn’t wipe that ridiculous grin off your face.

“I might have to let you stay the night more often,” you said.

“I’d like that,” he smiled.

“What time is it?”

Rob reached for his phone, checking the time. “It’s almost eleven.”

“Ugh,” you groaned. You could easily fall back asleep again, but even you knew you had both slept in way too long. “I should get up.”

“Yeah,” Rob agreed, “shower and lunch?”

You stared at him, fully aware that he was asking you to have lunch with him, which would sort of be a date. You considered asking him to leave, still not wanting to lead him on and still not wanting to make this day any more intimate than it had already been. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask him to go, not with those gorgeous blue eyes staring into yours and that adorable smile greeting you right after the best sex you have ever had.

“Sure,” you said cautiously, wondering if you were making a mistake at agreeing to his offer, “but only if you shower with me.”

He grinned at you, nodding eagerly. You laughed as you pulled yourself from him, getting up and heading to the bathroom with him right behind you. This was all so much more than you wanted. You internally kicked yourself for doing this, leading him on and not stopping things. You figured you didn’t have to tell him that you sort of enjoyed waking up with him, letting him make love to you like that. It had been so long since you had had a morning like this with anyone. It was scary for you, but also really nice. Maybe one nice day with him wouldn’t hurt anything, as long as you reminded him that it was nothing more.

* * *

You sat at the restaurant, having already ordered lunch and sipping on your iced tea as he sat across from you, staring at you with a smile on his face.

“This morning was nice,” you reminded him, still unable to get over how great it had been.

“It was. Thanks for not kicking me out right after.”

You shrugged, “Hey, I can be pretty decent sometimes, especially when you make me feel so good.”

“I have to ask,” he began, “what made you change your mind about the whole sleeping over thing?”

“Don’t read too much into it. I legitimately didn’t want to kick you out because you’re right, I’ve been pretty horrible to you. I’m trying to be nicer.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, I still don’t want a relationship, but I can’t turn you away.”

“You kinda like me.”

“Okay, I kinda like you. But, I mostly like sleeping with you. There are still no feelings involved.”

“Fair enough,” he said. “So, it would be a bad idea for me to try to get to know you better?”

“Depends on what you want to know.”

“I want to know about your ex,” he said bluntly, “I want to know what was going on there.”

“I think you know most of it. I left him because he got a little too involved suddenly.”

“So, even your own boyfriend isn’t allowed to get too attached?”

“I didn’t say that. But, yeah I guess so.”

“Elaborate.”

“Look, we had an unconventional relationship. It was good at first, and after a few years it went stale. He was fucking around with someone else, and I knew that.”

“Why stay with someone when he’s messing around and there’s nothing there anymore?”

“I don’t know, it was just normal for me. It was stable in the sense that we always were and I at least knew that I had someone. Even if I really didn’t.”

“And you just let him get away with it?”

“I didn’t really didn’t have a choice. When I did confront him at first, I had never seen him so angry. He told me it was my fault, and he was right. I let him get away with it because I was the one who stopped giving him any emotion. I let that relationship become what it was and he was at least kind enough to stay with me even if he didn’t love me anymore.”

“Sounds a little screwed up.”

“Have you met me?” you grinned.

“I didn’t mean you, I meant the way he treated you. Maybe he could have done something to fix things.”

“There wasn’t anything to fix anymore,” you said honestly, “when you and I started messing around, I really figured it was okay because he was doing the same thing. I was more shocked at his reaction to this than anything else. He was suddenly jealous, telling me that I was his. I just had to leave that.”

“I don’t regret hitting him,” Rob replied. “He treated you like shit.”

“Maybe that’s where all my damage comes from,” you said softly. “I kept myself in a really unhealthy situation and got myself into this huge mess. Don’t you think it’s better to go into things with no emotions? Isn’t it better to not get involved like that so you can avoid getting hurt or hurting someone else?”

“I don’t know,” Rob replied, “I think that sometimes you have to let yourself feel things, otherwise you’re going to end up alone and angry with yourself.”

You stared at him as your food arrived, sensing that he was still pissed at your lack of interest in anything more. He thanked the waitress, focusing on picking at his food now.

“I think it’s also okay to find things that make you feel good, and just keeping those things what they are. Attachment isn’t always a good thing. You get too attached, you let each other down and stay in an unhappy situation, not knowing how to leave it. You hurt each other over and over again, until you can’t find a way out anymore.”

“I get the feeling there’s more to that story.”

“I think I’ve shared enough.”

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to get too personal.”

“Do you still respect that?”

“I do. It’s frustrating, but I’m trying to be better about this.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Are you working tonight?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Of course.”

“We’ll be there tonight, it’s weird playing so many shows every week at the bar. Now you’ll never get rid of me.”

“What else have you got planned for today?”

“Well, I’m supposed to be at the studio an hour ago,” he held his phone up to you, “band’s already blowing my phone up because I’m late.”

“Naughty.”

“I told them I was busy with my bartender though. They seem to understand.”

“Well, I guess we better eat so you can get to work.”

“Yeah, the new album isn’t going to write itself.”

“That song, the one you played last night, that was new.”

He gave you a knowing look, “Oh… that one?”

“What was that one about? You sure couldn’t keep your eyes off of me when you sang it.”

“It was about you.”

“No it wasn’t,” you said in disbelief, shaking your head at him.

“Really, it was. I wrote it after that fight we had. I was pissed at you and needed to vent.”

“There was an awful lot of mention of ‘love’ in that song for it to be about me.”

“Well, sometimes you have to exaggerate as a writer, makes the song sound better.”

“I don’t know if I like the idea of being the woman behind a song.”

“That’s the great thing about being a musician. You get to let it all out in your music, call people out in the lyrics and there’s nothing they can do about it.” He grinned slyly, knowing that you were a little upset over being the subject of the song. It pleased him to know that he got to you and there was nothing you could do to stop it.

“Sounds needlessly brutal.”

“Did you like it?”

“It was a good song. It sounded really great. The lyrics could use some work.”

He chuckled at you, “Not a chance.”

“Fine, just don’t go around telling everyone I’m your muse.”

“Deal.”

“When will it be done? Your album I mean?”

“Soon actually. We’re just tying up some loose ends. We’ll do a record release party next month.”

“Really?”

“Do you ever pay attention at work?” He laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s on the schedule. I was there when Kim penciled it in.”

“Oh, I usually rely on Bri to clue me in. What does a record release party consist of anyway?”

“Well, we play a special show, all our new songs. We invite guests and sell a few tickets for fans. It will be at your bar, and we’ll just play music and party.”

“Sounds like fun,” you giggled.

“Yeah,” he replied quietly, “it will be fun for some of us.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly, “just… you’ll be working so it may not be a ton of fun for you.”

“I always have fun hanging out with you guys, even if I am supposed to be working.”

“Yeah, the guys sort of like you too.”

“I’m very likable.”

Rob swallowed hard, still meeting your gaze and giving you another smile.

“Eat,” he demanded, “I’ve got places to be.”

You did as he asked, the both of you finishing your lunch in silence.

* * *

You didn’t take Rob home with you again that night, nor did he take you home with him. He explained that he would be very busy the next week, working on the album, and he needed less distraction in his life and pushing you to the sidelines at this point would be getting his biggest distraction out of the way. You understood, still feeling grumpy over the fact that you would have to go without for a while.  

Mostly, you were surprised at the way he brushed you off after his show that night when you were certain you were taking him home again. He acted abnormally uninterested, insisting that it wasn’t a good idea right now.

“I just need to keep my head clear while we’re finishing this thing up,” he had said.

“Well, I can make you forget everything that’s bothering you,” you had flirted from across the bar as he drank.

He lowered his head, not willing to keep eye contact now. “No, you are the only thing in my life that has me a mess. I’m late for important things, I’m here; drinking all the time, I need to focus and you don’t help me focus.”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, “It’s my fault too, but I really need to just get this one thing done.”

“I get it,” you had said. Inside, you were a little hurt. It was always best not to ever show him that you were hurt or possibly missing him. So, instead of pushing it anymore, you easily dropped the conversation, letting him go for the next week no matter how often you wanted to call him.

He did a pretty decent job at ignoring you. You didn’t call, but you couldn’t help but to shoot him a text here and there, just to know that he was still around. He took a long time to respond to most of your texts, if he even responded at all.

You realized that you were beginning to act as attached and needy as he usually did. When the realization hit you, you took it as your cue to back off. You needed to focus on other things.

* * *

To take your mind off of not being with him, you took up extra shifts at the bar where needed and spent a lot of time hanging out with Bri, filling her in on what was going on with you and Rob. you were currently sitting on her couch, both of you drinking wine and feeling pretty good as you described the last hook up you had with him.

“You let him go that far again?”

“I know, I’m terrible. But it was so good, I couldn’t make him stop. Bri, I haven’t had anyone make me feel this good ever.”

“If I didn’t know you, I’d think you really liked the guy.”

“Of course I do.”

“No, I mean, I’d think you were in love with him or something.”

“Hardly,” you laughed, “I don’t love him. I’m just really good at getting what I want from him.”

“I already told you this was a bad idea,” she scolded you, “he’s going to get attached again and it’s going to end badly. Again.”

“Nope, we’re both on the same page now. In fact, it’s getting so much better. We haven’t talked for a few days, he’s not blowing up my phone. And, we’re okay with sleeping over.”

“You’re staying the night now?”

“Well, he stayed the night when I brought him back to my place last week.”

“Jesus, Lola,” Briana said, sounding obviously frustrated. “You can’t do that. Not to him, when you know he likes you more.”

“It’s fine, he understands and it was actually kinda nice.”

“Fuck buddies don’t sleep over. You’re digging this hole too deep.”

“No I’m not, I know what I’m doing?”

“Really? Because I was sure you had never done this before. I thought Lola didn’t mess around. I’m sorry that I assumed you didn’t know the first thing about keeping things strictly sex… oh wait, I assumed that because it’s true.”

“Stop it.”

“No, you’re going to end up right back where you started. He likes you, he’s already attached and you can’t make him stop feeling actual feelings for you. He may be good at hiding it now, but he’s so fucking into you… this is going to be such a mess. You’re going to hurt him. And I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt.”

“If he gets hurt again, that’s his own fault. And why would I get hurt?”

“Because, you won’t admit it, but you really like him.”

“No I don’t. Not like that.”

“Then why is it so hard for you to leave him alone? Why did you let him stay the night when one of your rules is to not even let customers know where you live? Why are you sitting here talking about him making love to you as if it’s not a big deal anymore?”

“I overshared.”

“No, that’s what we do, we overshare with each other. Now it’s just to the point where I’m worried about you. You know I’m all about you and Rob. I think you’d be fucking fantastic together, the sex already is apparently. But you’re too caught up in this sleeping together only thing. You need to either just end it, or not freak out when you fall for him, or admit that you already have.”

“I haven’t. And I won’t. You know I can’t do the whole relationship thing again.”

“Yeah, I know. You’ve got some issues with all of that.”

“Can you just… let me go on about how amazing things are without momming me and getting all worked up?”

“I will make no promises.”

“Fine, maybe I’ll just stop coming to you with everything.”

“Might be a better idea. Because I already hate myself for talking you into this whole thing.”

“I’m a big girl, I make my own decisions. You only nudged me in that direction.”

“I keep thinking that if I hadn’t said anything, you’d be better off. That poor guy would be better off.”

“We’re fine. Really. Everything is really good right now.”

“How long has it been since you even saw him last?”

“Fuck, a week at least. He’s actually ignoring me,” you grinned, feeling somewhat impressed that he was able to do so.

“He’s lost interest?”

“I hope not,” you said with a frown. You had to admit, the idea crossed your mind all the time.

“Well, you have to know it’s bound to happen,” Briana reminded you, “a guy like that isn’t going to stay a hook-up for too long. He’s got his pick of hot women willing to give him more.”

“Wow, do you think you could be a little more honest with me?”

“Seriously,” she began, “you keep denying you like him, but I’m no idiot. You will lose him eventually and I don’t want to hear about it when it happens.”

You rolled your eyes at her, “We both know that he can’t resist me, his favorite bartender.”

“I would have agreed in the beginning,” she said, “but, he’s resisted you for the last week.”

You bit your lip, listening to her tell you exactly what you had feared. For the past week; all the ignored messages and the fact that he wasn’t going out of his way to see you or talk to you had left you thinking the exact same thing. You couldn’t help but think he had lost interest in all of this, in you.

“It shouldn’t bother me as much as it does,” you said softly.

“You know, life is a lot easier when you’re honest with yourself and the people around you.”

“What?”

“Why can’t you just tell him you like him? Might make the guy feel better given how you treat him.”

“It’s complicated,” you said finally.

“Because you needlessly complicate things. You sit here, giving me two very different explanations about what you’re feeling. You can’t admit that you like him, because you’re trying to convince yourself that you don’t. This is really unhealthy.”

“Is it really so bad that I might like the guy, but I just want to have him without having an actual relationship?” As soon as you said it, you knew it sounded terrible. You really were using him and leading him on. You had been gradually letting your feelings get in the way; letting him think that you wanted more before you panicked and blamed him for this entire thing being a constant mess.

“Kinda,” Bri replied. “It’s pretty messed up when you know how he feels. And, apparently you feel something else that you’re not even willing to be honest about.”

“I just… I’m trying to keep myself from showing him that I feel anything. I don’t want a relationship. Regardless of whether or not I’m ignoring what I feel, I know I can’t do that again. I’m just trying to keep this what it is, and he’s doing great at not telling me that he’s into me anymore.”

“Fine. It’s not my place to tell you what to do. But, it already sounds like he’s sort of fed up with being jerked around. He’s going to drop you so fast, Lola.”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“I’m just sayin, he’s ignored you for this long. Maybe you don’t hurt him anymore and he realizes he deserves better than this.”

“Why are you being so mean?”

“I’m not trying to be mean. This all just really sucks. We’ve become good friends with these guys, Rob’s a decent guy and he treats you pretty great most of the time. I hate standing back and watching you ruin each other.”

“No one is ruined.”

“Not yet,” she said quietly, “I’m just waiting for the shit to really hit the fan, Eventually you’ll hate each other if you keep doing this. I already hated Tyler for the mess you two ended up in. I don’t want to have to hate Rob too.”

“Why would you ever hate him? You said so yourself, this is all my fault.”

“I’ll have to hate him when you get your heart broken.”

You pulled back, scowling at her, unsure of what she even meant. She rolled her eyes, waving a hand at you as she turned away. She didn’t want to elaborate or push it further. You assumed she mostly didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

“Uh, thanks for the wine,” you said softly. You stood up, putting on your jacket and gathering your things as she kept her back to you. “Thanks for the conversation… and, uh, listening I guess. I’m gonna go home.”

You left her house; neither of you saying another word to each other. You and Bri never had a discussion like this before. Unless you counted all the nights of bitching about Tyler that she had engaged in in the past. If Bri was anything, it was a really honest and great best friend. You didn’t want to listen to anymore. That’s not to say you didn’t know she had made a lot of good points.

You headed home, letting her words replay in your head. You sort of  felt betrayed; the way she seemed to constantly stick up for Rob when you were the one who was supposed to be her best friend. You also knew that you had been terrible through all of this, even if you didn’t want to be. You knew damn well Rob was interested in you as more than what you were at this point. You also knew that you definitely had feelings for him in way. You were just really good at pretending that you didn’t feel a damn thing.

Maybe Bri had been right. All of your teasing and leading Rob on may have finally caught up to you. The one thing that you thought you had locked down would certainly not stick around for too long; not when there were other options out there that were willing to give him what he really wanted. You knew you were nothing special. You were just a bartender that he happened to cross paths with. A girl who just happened to sleep with him, and somehow kept him coming back for more. He was a musician who had a very big fan following, he could literally have anyone he wanted and you knew that. Why he constantly chose you, even after all the shit you put him through, was beyond you. You just hadn’t stopped to think about the possibility that he could easily toss you aside and move on to the next girl.

When you reached your apartment complex, you sat in your car in the parking lot, holding your phone and letting your thumb hover over his name. This was ridiculous. You shouldn’t be concerned with what he was doing. You shouldn’t care about who he was with, where he was, why he was ignoring you. You were angry at the fact that you did care though. You cared about all of that.

“What the fuck are you doing, Y/N?” You said out loud to yourself.


	15. Too Good At Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader is a little thrown off with what’s going on between her and Rob. It doesn’t help that Rob might be the one leading her on now.

A week later, you found yourself at work; the dynamic between you and Bri was off and the fact that Louden Swain was playing that night put you in an awkward spot. Rob had ignored you up to this point, only acknowledging that you were present when they showed up to set up for their show. He had been behaving strangely in the past couple of weeks, and you tried hard to remember if you may have done something else to make him mad at you.

You were feeling a bit off tonight. Maybe it was the fact that Briana’s words were still replaying in your head, because you knew she was right as usual; or maybe it was that you couldn’t stop thinking about Rob, even if he was in the same room as you at this very moment. Truthfully, the fact that he was here had you an even bigger mess, because you didn’t know what was going on between you currently.

You tried to block out the sound of the band playing while you worked; for the first time ever, you messed up orders, forgot about some customers, and just generally sucked at your job. Briana took over most of the work, probably understanding that you were just not yourself tonight. The two of you didn’t really talk or joke like you usually did, but she was still your friend and made it a point to help you out when she saw that you felt overwhelmed.

After the set, most of the patrons cleared out; leaving only a few stray drinkers behind as well as the band. You breathed a little easier now that things had slowed down. You had never felt so out of place at work and you hated that you felt as if you didn’t belong here.

The band took their usual places at their favorite table, Briana offering to handle them so that you could pull yourself together. You focused on the few people who sat at the bar, finding it a bit easier to keep track of what they needed now. You smiled when you saw Rob sit in front of you suddenly. You may have been a little worried about what was going on between you two, but it was comforting to see his face.

“Hello, stranger,” you grinned, trying hard to ease the tension that you knew was there.

“Hey, bartender,” he smiled back. “It’s been a little while.”

“It has. I was beginning to think I’d never see you again.”

“Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind.”

“Sounds like it,” you replied, “wanna drink about it?”

“Definitely.”

You retrieved a bottle of his favorite beer, placing it in front of him. You watched him take a long drink before he placed it back down, not making eye contact as he focused on picking at the label.

“What’s going on?” You asked as you leaned against the bar. You studied him, hoping that it really was just about all the work he had been doing and not about you.

“Nothing,” he replied quickly. He met your gaze and you felt something like a flutter in your chest just seeing those eyes for the first time in weeks.

“Alright. That’s cool, you don’t have to vent to me.”

“Finishing up an album is just exhausting,” he explained.

“For a minute there, I thought you were pissed at me again.”

“It’s… it’s not about you.”

You cocked your head at him, not fully convinced. “You sure about that? Did I do something? Because you’ve done a great job at ignoring me the past two weeks.”

“I told you I’d be busy working,” he gave you a curious look, probably wondering why you even cared at this point.

“I know,” you waved a hand at him, “needed to get rid of distractions. Did it help? Not having me around I mean.”

“It did.”

“Good, I hope you’re almost done though. I miss you.” You cringed as you said it, fully aware of how desperate you sounded. You hadn’t stopped thinking about him, and you had to force yourself not to call him every day for a hook-up. You convinced yourself that you really just needed to get laid, but the truth was that you did miss having him around. You missed the banter, the power play, and the way he always tried to get you to open up about yourself. No matter how much you acted as if you didn’t want to get to know him or for him to get to know you, you honestly missed it.

“Really?”

“Yeah, my bed has been a little lonely.”

He chuckled at you, taking another drink. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, we could go back to my place after work. Maybe I’ll let you stay the night again.”

He watched you for some time, almost as if he were considering your offer. Normally he would have jumped right at it, but the way he stayed quiet made you a little nervous.

“I don’t think so,” he said finally.

“Oh, okay,” you replied, trying not to look hurt at the way he shot you down.

”We’re leaving early and I shouldn’t stay out all night.”

“Leaving?”

“Yeah, just a short tour is all.”

“You guys are touring?” You felt a bit caught off guard. At no point had he ever mentioned another tour coming up, you just assumed the residency was the only thing going on at the moment considering they were working on an album.

“Just for a week, a few shows, nothing big.”

“Oh, you didn’t tell me this.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, looking just as confused as you felt by your words. “Bartender, I thought you didn’t care what I did.The last time I told you about us touring, you told me to not tell you about us touring.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I even said that. We don’t have to explain ourselves to each other.”

He let out a frustrated sigh, “Hey, you’re gonna have to clear things up with me here. Am I supposed to tell you things? Is that where we are? Or, am I supposed to just show up when you want me to, give you what you want, and leave so that we don’t have to pretend that we like each other?”

“I didn’t mean that you had to tell me anything. I made a mistake.”

“Dammit, bartender… “ he muttered. He ran his hands down his face, still looking frustrated. “If I didn’t like you so much, I’d be gone. This whole thing is so fucked up.”

Before you could reply to him, the guys had caught his attention, flagging him down from the table they were sat at. He looked back to you as he picked up his beer, standing so he could join his friends.

“Look, I’m not done with this album, and not seeing you has been really good for me. I need some more time.”

“Okay. But I get the feeling that whatever we were doing is pretty much over, Rob. You should tell me if it is.”

“I don’t want it to be,” he said, “I just, have some things to think about.”

“Yeah, take all the time you need.”

“I’ll call you… eventually… maybe.”

“Goodbye, Rob.” The words sounded blunt as you said them. You were a little upset now that you felt you were being led on. Before, he had wanted you so badly and never turned you down. Now, he couldn’t decide if he even wanted to see you again. For the first time, you felt really small. You felt exactly what he must have been feeling through all of this.

“See you later, Lola,” he let your moniker slip past his tongue slowly. You breath caught as he said it. He never used that name, he acted as if it were a joke in the past. For some reason, hearing him using it right now felt like he was purposely trying to upset you. You hadn’t considered how it might feel for you to be on the other side, but right now, as you watched him walk away from you after that; you understood completely how shitty it felt to be the one that the other person didn’t care about.

* * *

“I’ll walk you out,” Rob offered when you had clocked out for the night. You made sure Briana was okay for you to leave before you looked at Rob, really confused as to why he was offering given the exchange you had had earlier.

“Sure,” you replied. You glanced over to Matt who noticed Rob walking with you and he knew he was okay to stay.

You walked to your car, Rob close by. Once you had it unlocked, you turned to face Rob.

“You sure you don’t need a ride?”

“I’m good, Jason is DD tonight and he hasn’t left me behind yet.”

“Okay, thanks for walking me out I guess.” You opened your door, nervously stalling when it came to actually getting in. Something was off between the two of you, and you couldn’t place exactly what it was. Before you could will yourself to get in, you felt Rob grip your arm. He turned your body to face him again, pressing you back against the side of your car as he moved in closer.

His lips found yours and you melted into him, suddenly very content now that you had some sort of contact with him. You wrapped your arms round his neck, pulling him in closer. It wasn’t the usual kiss you’d engage in. He wasn’t feeling you up or grinding against you in a heated attempt to sleep with you. It was slow and gentle. You parted your lips for him, letting his tongue slip through to meet your tongue. You let it happen, unsure of what this was exactly, but knowing that you needed him somehow.

When he pulled away from you, he rested his forehead against yours, steadying his breathing.

“You sure you don’t want to come with me?” You asked. You felt him squeeze your hips, saw him close his eyes as he bit his lip.

“I’m sure,” he looked up to meet your gaze. He looked sad, and you hated to see him look like this. You grasped onto his face, running your fingers against his beard, waiting for something. Anything. You couldn’t be sure, but you sort of felt like whatever it was that the two of you were doing, was going to be over soon.

“Okay, let me know when you get back then.”

“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t,” he teased.

* * *

You were at home, warm in your bed, and fast asleep when your phone rang. You grumpily glanced over to your alarm clock. 2:16 am. You groaned, reaching for your phone, pissed that someone was waking you up. You focused your eyes on the screen, your breath catching when you saw Rob’s name. Immediately, you thought the worst. He had been out all night drinking, adamant on not going home with you. You assumed something had happened.

“Rob!” you breathed out. “Are you okay?”

“You’re worried about me?” he chuckled.

“I am when you call me at two in the morning.”

“I’m fine,” he said, “I’m actually outside your door. Didn’t want to knock.”

“Oh Jesus, give me a minute.”

You hung up, hurriedly climbing out of bed, still dazed since you had literally been pulled from a deep sleep. You stumbled to the front door, unlocking and opening it to see that Rob was, in fact, standing right there.

“What are you doing?” You mumbled.

“Sure, I’d love to come in,” he joked.

You stepped aside, allowing him to stumble in.

“How did you get here?”

“Jason dropped me off,” he replied. “For some reason, he was really insistent about not bringing me here.”

“You should have just left with me.”

“I know. I’m here now.”

“Why?”

He stepped toward you, gripping his hands on your waist as he pulled you in.

“I just want what’s mine,” he mumbled. He kissed you then, this time a lot more eager and needy. You could taste the alcohol on his mouth, realizing now that he might be a little drunk. You didn’t resist or turn him down though. You let him take your mouth with his, just as needy as he was. His hands immediately moved beneath your shirt, gripping at your skin. You sucked in a breath when he pulled his mouth away.

“What’s yours?” you asked.

“You. You are mine.”

You noticed the look in his eyes; desperate and almost angry. He pulled your shirt over your head, tossing it aside and yanked at your shorts, letting them drop to the floor. He stepped back and began to remove his jeans while you watched. The living room was now scattered with clothing that he had removed in a frenzy. Without another word, he grabbed you, pulling you toward your bedroom. Once inside, he pushed you down against your bed, climbing on top of you. He kissed you hard again, teasing your clit with his fingers for just a moment before pushing into you. He groaned out loud, stilling himself only briefly before he started to move.

This was different, and surprisingly still hot. There was no foreplay like usual, and you couldn’t help but feel as if he was angry about something. He thrust into you mercilessly, moving harder and faster than he had the tendency to do. Regardless, it still felt so good, and you had been starved for this for weeks. You let out a moan, throwing your head back as he fucked you.

This is what you had wanted from him the entire time. For him to just show up, take what you both wanted without any discussion about it, and hopefully leave at the end with no feelings in tact.

* * *

“What was that all about?” You asked, still trying to catch your breath as he moved off of you.

“What? I thought this is what we did. Why do you look so surprised?”

“I’m not, I just- that was different.”

“It’s just sex. Isn’t that what you wanted?” You watched him get out of bed, leaving the room for a moment before returning with his clothes. He immediately began to get dressed.

“You can stay,” you said, “I’m not kicking you out.”

“I don’t get you,” he began, “I really just don’t get any of this.”

“What?”

“You and the way you change your mind constantly. You’re either leaving in the middle of the night, kicking me out after we fuck, or maybe you let me stay the night. You let me make love to you and sometimes you flip out about it, or maybe you really enjoy it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how you can’t make up your fucking mind, Y/N!”

You pulled back, shocked by his outburst.

“You tell me not to tell you what I’m doing, and then you get upset when I don’t tell you what I’m doing. You ignore me for a week, and it’s fine. But if I ignore you, you’re texting me or asking me what’s going on the next time I see you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, stop being sorry. You wonder why I get too involved and freak out over all of this. This is why. I’m confused. I know you tell me that we’re just fucking around, no feelings are involved. But sometimes I just don’t know.”

“I’ve told you what I want out of this. If you’re confused, it’s your fault.”

“No it’s not,” he shook his head, “it’s your fault. You keep leading me on and changing your mind. You’re fucking me up.”

“I’m not meaning to.”

“I can’t do this. I have too much going on, and you’re just throwing me off. I’m such a fucking mess over this.”

“Okay, maybe we need to just take a break from this.”

“We did!” He shouted. “I literally avoided you for two weeks because I needed a break from this. And I see you again, and you act like you care about me and what I’m doing.”

“I do care. I care a lot. If you think I’m in this without any feelings whatsoever, you’re wrong. They’re just not the feelings that you want them to be.”

“You care because if I lose interest, you’ve lost your hook up.”

“No,” you replied, “I care because I still like to think that we’re at least friends.”

He said nothing, only stared at you from where he was standing.

“I do care about you Rob. I’m really worried that this is going right back to what it was again. I told you what this was, and you understood that. Nothing is going to change my mind. If you feel that I’ve led you on again, I’m sorry. That’s not on me.”

“I thought I could keep doing this. But I can’t. I am still so into you-” His voice cracked as he paced your room, “I’m not this guy. I can’t be with someone and not feel anything for them.”

“I know,” you said, “I see that now.”

“What do I do?” He asked. He searched you for an answer, looking desperate for something.

“I think that we both need to just step away from this. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

“That’s the problem. I don’t want to give this up. I keep thinking that I can get past the way I feel, just so I don’t have to give you up.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry.”

“I’m just- I’m stressed. I’ve got a lot going on, things have come up. I shouldn’t be here when I’m trying to sort my life out.”

“Maybe you should go.”

“Yeah, I should. I think I need some more time.”

“I think that this just needs to end. Maybe if we stop this now, we can still be friends. Because, I think that if we keep going, this is going to get worse. You’re going to hate me more and there’ll be nothing left.”

“I have to ask,” he added as he headed for the door, “just to double check… there’s nothing here right? You still just absolutely feel nothing at all for me?”

“We’re friends,” you replied softly, “that’s it. I don’t think of you as anything more.”

“Okay,” he chuckled, “I don’t know why I keep checking. I’m reading into everything too much I guess.”

“You always have.”

“I just- I really like you. I try not to, because you don’t want me to. But I can’t help it.” He stepped back into the room and sat down on the edge of your bed, staring down at the floor.

“You don’t even know me.”

“Yeah, I do actually. I know you well enough to know that I’m fucking crazy about you.”

You felt your heart drop as he said it, his own voice cracking now that he was actually saying it out loud. You knew, of course, you had always known. It was a very different feeling to hear him say it while you were trying to end this. You realized now what you had been doing to him.

“But, you don’t know me Rob. You know absolutely nothing about me.”

“I think I know you pretty well. I know your name…”

“You know my first name,” you corrected him.

“I know about your ex, how shitty that situation was. I know that you’re strictly a bartender. I know where you live, what kind of car you drive, I know who your best friend is.”

“That’s it. That’s all you know,” you pointed out.

“I like to think that I still know you pretty well,” he argued. He readjusted himself so that he was almost facing you, watching you and waiting for you to do something. Give in? Admit that you wanted more? You weren’t sure, but you knew this had gone on for too long. You knew he had been unable to keep to his word about what this was.

“You don’t know me half as well as I know you.”

He chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I know your full name,” you began. “Your middle name too. I also know where you live. I have a vague understanding of your last relationship. I know your birthday, because I was working when the guys threw the party. I know your sister’s name, because you told me even when I didn’t want to know. I know that you can cook a mean lasagna, and that you keep exactly seven bottles of wine in your house even though you know nothing about wine, hell, you don’t even drink it. I know that you like to take things slow in bed, you enjoy taking your time. Which is why tonight was quite the surprise.”

“Well, I know that you’re a screamer and you like it rough.”

“Stop,” you said, rolling your eyes as his half-ass attempt to win this one.

“I also know that you like to pretend that you have no emotions, but you did cry once after we made love.”

You laughed in response, nodding your head in agreement. He wasn’t wrong. “I know your favorite drink. Sierra Nevada, you have one every time you’re at the bar. In fact, I get one for you before you even have to ask. If we’re taking shots, you’re a whiskey guy. And I know that you really love Pearl Jam. I don’t know exactly how I know that one, but I do.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, that I can know so much more about you and still not have feelings for you, not romantic ones anyway. And you know nothing about me, and you still can’t just keep this what it is.”

He looked away, almost guilty over how he was behaving.

“I said this needed to end for a reason. This is the reason,” you continued.” We can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep doing this.”

“I’m gonna go now,” he responded as he stood up. You could tell that he felt defeated now, no longer able to come up with a comeback, probably fully aware that you were right.

“Bye, Rob. I’ll see when I see you.”

“Yeah, a couple of weeks. Record release.”

“Okay. I’ll see you then.”

He stalled slightly, stopping at your door as you watched him from the bed. He didn’t turn to you, but he maybe considered it.

“Goodbye, Rob,” you said finally, trying to encourage him to walk away. You saw his shoulders shake, as if he were laughing at your words.

“Yeah,” he replied, still not facing you, “you’re pretty good at goodbyes, aren’t you?”

You hated to watch him leave. You almost stopped him. You thought about talking him into staying, maybe even telling him that you had both been wrong about what you felt through all of this. But you knew better. You knew this had to end.


	16. Drunk Girls Don't Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Briana isn’t so sure she knows her best friend anymore, Reader agrees. The sudden appearance of Tyler takes her back down a road that she never wanted to revisit; and even though the run in makes her realize she needs to stop ruining Rob’s life, she still can’t stay away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got dark pretty quickly, I have the tendency to do that in my fics. But, you get some backstory on the Reader that might be useful.
> 
> Also, I promise it’s not going to stay this angsty for the entire ride, which is coming to an end very soon.

You went back to your usual self. Rob was away for the week, touring somewhere that you didn’t care to know about. You decided to go back to not caring. You wouldn’t admit it to him or even to Briana, who was supposed to be your best friend; but you had been extremely hurt by the way things had ended. All you could do was think about what it was like to watch him walk away, knowing that you had to let him go. He deserved something better than this.

You managed to go back to your life before Rob. You worked and tried again to put your focus elsewhere. Things between you and Briana slowly went back to normal. Maybe the two of you also just needed some time.

“How are things?” She asked. You were at another bar together, having drinks and catching up. She had suggested that you have a girls night and went on to apologize for how she talked to you. You, of course, didn’t accept the apology; knowing full well that she was right, as usual.

“Things are… weird,” you admitted. “You were right. He’s lost interest in me. We don’t talk, he doesn’t show up at my work to bug me, it’s just- different.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I guess you decided to not let him in on how you’re feeling about him.”

“I said there weren’t feelings involved, and I mean it.”

“But, you’re still looking pretty down about it.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll miss him.”

“So, nothing is going on? No booty calls, no phone calls, nothing?”

“He showed up at my place right before they left. That’s the last I’ve heard from him.”

“The night that he didn’t go home with you?”

“Yeah, showed up at two a.m. He fucked me and left.”

“Ouch. Isn’t that how you wanted it though?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“That’s really all that happened?”

“Well, he got upset again. Said I was leading him on again and he was a mess over all of this.”

“I told you…” she began.

“I know. So I just ended it. I told him it was over.”

Briana studied you, unsure of whether you had actually done that.

“I’m just so tired of hurting him. I don’t mean to do it, but I see it all the time. I’ve been so fucking selfish, and I’m just done with it. I’m done with hurting someone who actually cares about me just because I can’t fucking feel anything.”

You felt the tears well up in your eyes and you reached up to wipe the tears away before anyone else could see.

“I really am just ruined. He can sit there and tell me how much he adores me, and I just keep telling him that I’m not that girl.”

“Why do you think you can’t feel anything?”

“Because I don’t. I spent so much time with a man who fucked around behind my back, and you know what? I didn’t even care. I was with him for years and I didn’t even care that he was cheating on me. I didn’t care that I started doing the same thing to him, and I didn’t care about how he might feel about it. That relationship ruined me, a lot of things ruined me. Now, I just don’t fucking care.”

“Well, it looks like you care a whole lot, Lola,” Bri stated. She reached over, thumbing a tear from your face with a sympathetic smile.”Regardless of whether or not you care about him the way he cares about you, you still care. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have let him go. You would have kept having your fun, not worrying about what you were doing to him.”

“I feel so terrible about everything.”

“Maybe because you kinda like the guy?”

“I can’t. But, I can at least end things and let him move on to find what he wants.”

“Yeah, but what if that’s you?”

“It’s not,” you laughed, “I am so not what a guy like that really wants.”

“You don’t really get to decide that,” she pointed out.

“You know me better than anyone,” you reminded her, “you were there for all of it. You understand, even if you tell me I’m horrible for the way I react and treat people. You understand why I can’t be that girl.”

“I just thought you’d gotten past a lot of it.”

“Some people don’t change. I certainly don’t. That’s why I wanted to keep it simply what it was, you know? I didn’t want to drag anyone down with me. I just wanted something… I’m not sure what I wanted exactly, but I wanted it.”

“Someday, Lola, you’re going to have to forgive yourself. You have to let it all go and stop thinking that it was your fault, and that you’re so broken because of it. I understand you’re scared. I get that. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for you. But, Tyler didn’t help at all; which is why I grew to hate him so much. And, I think you’re afraid of this thing with Rob eventually going in that direction given the circumstances. But, you don’t need to be. Not everyone is out to hurt you.”

“See, you can sit here and tell me this until you’re blue in the face. It doesn’t change the way I think.”

“I know,” she replied, “which is why I don’t intervene often. But, we’re all friends. He’s a decent guy, I’ve told you that. You’re a decent person too if you allow yourself to be.”

You scoffed at her, knowing damn well that you were anything but decent.

“You are,” she argued, “if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be so torn up over a guy you were just sleeping with.”

“I hate to end things, because I want him so badly. Like, I can’t not go to him. I’m too weak when it comes to him. His feelings are the last thing on my mind when I want him. Am I still a decent person?”

“You’re just a very confused person,” she laughed. “You know what you want, but you’re afraid of it, so you take what you can thinking that there are no ramifications with the way you do it.”

You gave her a confused look, not sure what she was getting at.

“You like him,” she explained, “it’s not just about the sex anymore. I don’t think it ever was about that. No matter how you try to twist the truth, you keep going back and you keep reeling him in because you want him. You just don’t want to want him.”

“I thought you knew me better than that,” you joked.

“I thought I knew you at one point,” she agreed, “this is a whole new Lola that I’m not used to.”

“Because you knew me back when I was strictly a relationship girl,” you laughed, “a lot has changed.”

She frowned at you, maybe upset over the fact that you had changed so much. “I still feel like a lot of it is my fault.”

“We are who we are,” you pointed out, “no one forces us to do anything. It’s not your fault.”

* * *

You hadn’t really expected it; but seeing Tyler’s car parked in the lot when you got home one night wasn’t really too much of a surprise. He had left you alone for the most part, and you assumed that the fact that he had gotten pummeled by Rob at the bar the last time you saw him was enough to hurt his ego and convince him to leave you alone. But, here he was, and you really weren’t in the mood to see him again. You were livid that he was here, showing up at a point in time that was already a mess for you.

You sighed heavily before willing yourself out of your car. Just as you got out, Tyler did the same upon seeing you.

“What do you want?” You called out. You grabbed your bag, locking the doors as you began to walk toward him.

“I just wanted to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you spat.

“Look, we ended on a bad note. I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine. How did you find out where I live?”

“I have my ways.”

“Yeah, I almost forgot you were a borderline stalker.”

“I just want to talk. I was really shitty to you, and I think you deserve an apology.”

“I get these apologies a lot lately, so nice of you.”

“Let me talk,” he said sternly. It was almost angry and you backed away for a moment, unsure of what he wanted and how this could go. He had behaved in a lot of ways that you didn’t expect from him, and you really didn’t know what he was capable of. “Please,” he added, his voice a bit softer now.

You hesitated briefly. You never had a reason to be afraid of him. He had been a constant in your life for a few years, and even though he may have been a shitty boyfriend, you had been an equally shitty girlfriend. Given how lonely and sad you had been feeling over everything with Rob, you thought it might be nice to have someone to talk to at least. Especially since Briana was no longer interested in talking to you. You knew it was a bad idea. He had turned into someone entirely different at the end of everything. He had become the exact thing you had been hiding from for so long. Regardless, you sort of knew that it had been your own behavior that had pushed him there.

You nodded your head, motioning for him to follow you inside.

“Got yourself a nice set up here.” He was trying to make small talk, but you weren’t buying into it.

“It’s a shit apartment in a shit part of town,” you corrected him.

“Still, you seem to be doing okay.”

“What do you want?”

“I miss you,” he blurted out.

“No you don’t. Tyler, we’re done. We had been over for a long time. You had your thing going on with that other woman, and I had something going on with someone else. There was no us to even miss.”

“That was pretty shitty of me. Cheating on you like that for so long.”

“Yeah, it was never an issue until I got caught doing exactly what you were doing.”

“I did get jealous over that. It’s hard to know your girlfriend is sleeping with someone else.”

“Whatever. It’s only a bad thing when I’m doing it. But, you’re a saint.”

“I got away with it because you didn’t care,” he replied, “You maybe called me out on it once. When I realized you didn’t care, I kept doing it because I knew I could get away with it.”

“Yeah, I don’t care. We were a mess, and I just stopped caring.”

“No, you were a mess.”

“Surprisingly, you’re not the only one who thinks so.”

“I was there for you through a lot. It’s not my fault you stopped caring.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Remember that whole thing with that guy? Before we started dating?”

“How could I forget?” You answered, rolling your eyes.

“Are you going down the same path with this new guy.”

“No,” you said bluntly, “for one, he doesn’t stalk me or threaten me. He’s actually a nice guy.”

“Are you in a relationship with him?”

You took a deep breath, now on edge at the way Tyler seemed to think this was an appropriate conversation given how things had ended.

“It’s not your business, but no. I know better than to have actual relationships with men I meet at the bar. I mean, look how the last two turned out.”

“I’m sorry. I got a little crazy.”

“You got a lot crazy,” you corrected him.

“I’m trying to look out for you. I was always trying to look out for you.”

“No, you’re trying to control me. I have to admit, I did not see all of that coming from you. It really was a shock when it did happen. You shouldn’t be so surprised that I walked away from you when you turned into that.”

“I was just like the other guy, huh?” He mused. He turned from you, putting his focus elsewhere as he spoke. “Trust me, I surprised myself when I realized how I had acted.”

You felt yourself grow angry as he brought it up. It had been a stupid situation that you could have easily avoided. It was your fault and you still hated yourself for how it had went.

_You had just started bartending. It was just a job that helped you get through school. You were there part time, learning from Briana. You had also just started getting to know Tyler at the time. You were friends and nothing more, in fact, you had very quickly found yourself the interest of a different customer who showed up often._

_He was a nice man, at first; and you made the rookie mistake of letting him get to know too much about you. You were young and flattered that an older, good-looking man with a good job and money showed you interest. Back then, you had no problem with people knowing your real name; and you had given it to him the second he talked you up. He always sat on your end of the bar; chatting, telling you how pretty you were, and tipping really well._

_One night, he asked you out. You were hesitant to say the least. You had taken much of your training from Bri who was always insistent that it was never a good idea to see regulars outside of work. But, he was nice and handsome, and again, you were young and flattered. You agreed to his offer; and one date turned into a few dates, until you found yourself in a much more physical relationship with the man. You didn’t consider the fact that he wanted more from you at first, but eventually, it turned into a relationship. He called you his girlfriend and he bought you gifts, you had been really spoiled by him; and it was nice for a while to have someone who seemed to love you._

_In the meantime, you and Tyler had another thing going on. You were growing closer and spending more time together. You really liked him despite the fact that he was usually broke and sort of reclusive in that you didn’t know much about him. But you remained friends, because you were already in a relationship._

_The guy you were dating didn’t like the idea of you having a male friend very much. When he had found out, that love that he said he had for you turned into something else entirely. Before you knew it, he was blowing up your phone constantly, visiting you at work every night, and in some instances; waiting for you outside of your apartment in the middle of the night. You may have been young and somewhat naive, but even you knew he was bad news. It didn’t take long for you to break up with him, thinking that all of that could be erased and forgotten._

_The real problems began when he nearly got you fired; coming into the bar one night, already wasted and starting a fight with Matt, who he was convinced you were also sleeping with. He had been kicked out promptly, and your job was in limbo when Kim pulled you aside one day to let you know that the man was calling the bar constantly, leaving threatening messages. Before you knew it, you had a stalker._

_He knew where you lived, he had your phone number, he knew the people you associated yourself with. He made your life hell for a long time. It wasn’t until the night that he waited for you outside the bar that things got even more scary. You and Tyler were already officially dating by then. You had closed up one night, not yet to the point where you felt you needed constant security, so Matt wasn’t even in the equation as your personal security. You walked out back, alone, when you noticed him waiting for you by your car. You tried to remain brave, not wanting to let him know that he was getting to you._

_Words had been exchanged, mostly by him telling you that he loved you and wanted you back. You had reminded him that you were done with him, you didn’t need this in your life. For the first time in your life, you were afraid in that moment. Afraid at how angry he looked, afraid at the way he yelled at you, afraid when he grabbed you by the arm and shoved you against your car. In the midst of your fear and need to run away, he had threatened you, reminding you that you were nothing, and letting you know that he knew everything about you._

_You walked away from that incident fairly unscathed, mostly humiliated that you were in this position. Then, it all just seemed to die down for a while. You focused on your relationship with Tyler; which was going really well. The guy didn’t show up for a long time, didn’t call you, or wait for you outside of your home or your work. You assumed it had ended and he had moved on._

_It wasn’t until a few months later, after you had moved in with Tyler and felt almost normal again that you realized you had been wrong._

“Do you remember that night?” Tyler asked, breaking you from your thoughts. “That night when everything went to literal shit?”

You nodded. Of course you remembered. It was constantly at the back of your mind, even after all this time.

_You had been at work. It was a slow night. You and Briana were working, Matt hanging out to make sure everything went smoothly. Tyler was there, having drinks and chatting with you._

_You hadn’t seen or heard from the guy in a long time, but he showed up. You felt your breath catch when you saw him, heart racing when you recalled the last run in you had with him. You remembered looking toward Matt, who saw him before you did. He had been kicked out previously, and was not welcome there. But he strutted in as if he could do what he wanted. Matt immediately approached him, reminding him that he couldn’t be there. Strangely, he left without a fight, apologizing and going on about how he had forgotten. He left without incident, but that didn’t stop you from being on edge for most of the night._

_Hours later, you had all but forgotten about it. You were busy having fun. When you left work for the night, Tyler walking you out so that you could go home together; he was there again. This time, waiting for you outside of your new apartment. You didn’t know how he had found you, all you knew was that this might not end. There had been a fight; which was mostly you getting hit and Tyler jumping in to protect you. It had been a mess. A restraining order was put in place and you had become someone that you never expected yourself to be._

_You no longer trusted anyone, even Tyler to a point. You learned very quickly not to get to know customers. You and Briana joked as you came up with your new moniker together, laughing despite the fact that you knew it was all very serious. Kim had considered firing you, not wanting any more drama in her bar. And who could blame her? Luckily, you were a decent enough bartender that she gave you another chance. You hadn’t let her down again until very recently._

_You stayed with Tyler, even though you slipped into a mode of just not caring about him anymore. He tried, he really did. He was attentive and sweet, but you had become so cold and distant; it really wasn’t a surprise that he found what he wanted somewhere else. You had pushed him away, and stayed in the relationship because it was comfortable. You figured he stuck around because he felt bad for you._

“Yeah, I remember. I also remember how you turned into the exact thing I was trying to avoid.”

“I know. I got crazy when I found out about this new guy. But, it was because I was worried about you.”

“You did the same things that got us into the mess to begin with. I don’t need that in my life again.”

“I’m not here to ask you to take me back. I do miss you, I really do love you. I also know that I scared you, and I never wanted to be that guy.”

“Thanks, but I don’t need your apology. I need you to leave me alone. Please.”

“I don’t know what it is about you that turned me into that.”

“I guess I’ve just really got a way with men, don’t I?” You joked. “Look, I don’t feel sorry for you. You threatened me, you assaulted me. You’re lucky if I don’t call the cops right now.”

“I’m leaving. I just wanted to apologize, seriously.”

“Go,” you demanded.

“You know,” he began as he started to walk away, “you’re the one who is a mess. I thought if I played the jealous boyfriend, I could get you to stay. It seems to be what you look for in men.”

“You’re insane.”

“Well, you’ve had two men in one time-frame who are fucking insane? What’s the common factor in all of that?”

“You’re not here to apologize, you’re here to hurt me.”

“I’m leaving. You do a damn fine job of hurting yourself anyway.”

It had been a strange run in. You didn’t know what he meant to accomplish by seeing you again; all you did know was that his apology had been half-assed and cruel to a point. In all the time that you had known him, you never expected him to turn into what he ended up turning into in the end. But, then again, you also hadn’t expected it from the other guy either. It seemed as if he had popped up to remind you that you were damaged beyond repair, incapable of feeling and loving. Maybe he came back to remind you that you only ever ruined people who got too close to you and that you were pretty much to blame for the way everything ended in any case.

* * *

You were upset and pissed off at the strange discussion with Tyler. Mostly, you were busy replaying it all in your mind. You had let yourself cry, confused as to how you even ended up here at this point. After a bottle of wine and a little bit of self-loathing, you figured why not round the night out with one more mistake. You called Rob, unsure if he would even answer at this point. Like most things in your life, this whole thing had ended as well. Regardless of the nagging voice in the back of your head that kept telling you to leave him alone, avoid ruining him the way you ruined everyone and everything else in your life; you couldn’t stay away. You had tried to give him up so many times, and you constantly failed.

You hoped that maybe he would be the one to show a little more self-restraint in this case; but, you were pleasantly surprised when he did answer his phone.

“Come over,” you begged when he answered, not even knowing if he was around at this point. You had lost track of the days while trying to not think about him. 

 

“What? Why?”

 

“I just want you. Are you in town?”

 

“Yeah, I am. You’re drunk,” he pointed out. You tried to pull yourself together, hoping that you being a bit tipsy wouldn’t mess this up for you.

“So what if I am?”

“Well, you very rarely call me for a hook up when you’re drunk… and you’re the one who ended this. What happened?”

“My ex came by,” you explained, trying not to slur your words.

“Are you okay?” He asked, now sounding a little worried.

“I’m fine. I’m just upset and I need you.”

“Did he hurt you?”

You smiled, thinking to yourself; _“If you consider him telling me the truth and reminding me that I’m the reason every man in my life turns into a crazy person, then yes, he hurt me.”_

“No,” you responded out loud. “I’m just really sad.”

He paused for a moment, probably considering if it was a good idea on his part to come over. You waited quietly, feeling tears build up.

“Okay, I’ll be over in a few.”

“Thank you.”

It had been easy to convince him. Despite everything, you knew he did care about you. You at least knew there would be moments when he would come running, even if he insisted he was taking a break from you or you insisted that it was over. You were both a mess it seemed. Neither of you could give the other up, and you knew damn well that this could only really end with someone getting really hurt. You figured you’d take advantage of his feelings for you though, at least tonight. You didn’t want to be that girl, but he was comforting at least. He was the only comfort you had in your life at this point.

* * *

When he did show up, you wasted no time. He let you kiss him; drunk and sloppy as you cried. He took you to bed and made love to you, even if you were so far gone you might not remember it in the morning. It had been nice, even if you had encouraged him to not make it so intimate. You watched him as he moved against you; feeling even worse about yourself as you realized you were still using him. He was still here, willing to give you what you wanted, and you consistently took it without regard to his feelings.

You knew this was bad. This would not end well. He hadn’t turned into what the last two men in your life had turned into, not yet anyway. The thought of it scared you. You had broken so many of your rules for him. He knew you, even if you remained insistent that he didn’t. You had let him in; giving him your name, your phone number, the knowledge about some details you hadn’t shared with anyone else since the last fiasco. Your walls had crumbled the second you met him, and they just continued to do so.

You constantly wondered if letting him in would result in the same things, which was the main reason why you were so adamant about not letting him in any further. There could be no relationship here. You knew that if there was, it could only end the same way. Your feelings were no longer worth considering at this point. Even if you did like him a little more than you let on; he would only hate you when he found out about your past and the reason why you were so damaged.

Afterwards, you remembered that he said he had something to tell you. Something had happened that he thought you should know about. You told him to tell you, but he decided against it given how upset you were.

“What are we doing?” You asked him.

“I don’t even know any more,” he replied. “You keep telling me it’s over, and I keep saying I can’t do this; and here we are. Again.”

“I don’t want to do this to you.”

“I’m falling in love with you,” he had said suddenly and softly as he laid next to you.

“Don’t say that,” you mumbled, trying to focus on him. His words had been like a knife. The second they slipped out, they cut you deeply. Mostly because they sounded so nice coming from him, but you still refused to accept them.

“I know, no feelings,” he replied, “I just thought you should know.”

He didn’t stay the night. You got what you needed from him, and this time, you told him to go. It was for the best. You had led him on enough by letting him stay a few times. You talked him into being with you, yet again, even though you had specifically ended things. You knew you had him wrapped around your finger. No matter how much you led him on and let him down, he would be there. For how much longer? You didn’t know, and you didn’t care to find out. You knew you were letting your guard down with him. You knew you were treating this as more, even when you knew you shouldn’t. You now knew how he really felt, and the idea of it ached. No one was meant to fall in love, and you honestly didn’t understand how he could fall in love with you.

“This has to stop,” you told yourself when he was gone.

You had said it plenty of times before. Every time you had told yourself that it had to end, you were the one who couldn’t keep it that way. He was addicting. He made you feel something that no one else ever had. You assumed you had the same effect on him, otherwise, he wouldn’t still be around after everything you had put him through.

For the first time, you cried yourself to sleep; not because you were still angry with Tyler or the other guy or with Rob. You were angry with yourself.


	17. Fire Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader knows that her walls are crumbling. Little by little, she’s giving Rob more than she wants to; and he’s not afraid to take what he can.

You kept your distance for a few days, and he did the same. You had been a mess that night, even more-so than usual. You were embarrassed by your behavior and the way you had cried in front of him again. All you really needed was some time to deal with Tyler having shown back up and dredging up some bad experiences. It only took a few days for you to be able to push down the way you were feeling and go back to what you had worked so hard to become.

The next time you saw Rob later on in the week, you pretended as if he never used the “L” word the last time you had been together. He seemed to be doing just the same, embarrassed maybe that he had opened up to you like that. You had been slightly drunk and emotional, so it was easy to act as if it had never happened. In a way, it helped to ease your mind to ignore it; mostly you wanted to ease his mind over the fact that he had said something that you didn’t want to hear.

Any indication that things might be rocky between the two of you after everything quickly faded away that night. He had shown up with a couple of the guys from the band, just to drink. You easily slipped back into the role of Lola, no easy feat considering you had gradually been letting yourself become too open with him. Tonight was easier though. You talked and laughed with the guys and Bri, flirting with Rob the same way that you had done in the past. He even seemed to be back to his old self. Maybe the two of you could remain friends, as long as you could find it in yourself to stay away from the relationship that you had formed with him.

“So, tell me bartender,” he began when the two of you had a moment alone. “What was the other night about anyway?”

“What do you mean? Are you still upset that I called you and you caved?”

“No, not at all. It’s my own fault for not staying away.”

“I’m sorry I kicked you out that time. I was having a rough night.”

“Yeah, that’s what I meant. What had you like that? I don’t usually see you so… vulnerable.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Come on Lola,” he pressed. There it was again. The made up name that he used to refuse to call you by. You hated the way it sounded coming from him and you could only assume it was his way of distancing himself from you. “You don’t cry, not like that anyway. I get that you may have had too much to drink, but I’ve seen you drunk. That was different.”

“I told you, my ex showed up. I was upset.”

“What did he do?”

“Nothing. We talked.”

“If he was just talking, why did you get so upset? I get the feeling that there was more to all of that.”

“I got upset because of what he had to say.”

Rob perked up a bit, interested in you continuing.

“It was nothing,” you insisted, “he just popped in to remind me of what a screw up I am. You know, bring up some bad memories in case I wasn’t feeling shitty enough already.”

“You never said that he was bad to you.”

“He wasn’t. He’s actually a nice guy; I mean… until the end. All of that wasn’t normal for him. We can argue that the fact he was cheating on me makes him a shitty person, but that just means I was just as bad.”

“What were the bad memories?”

“You’re very talkative tonight,” you laughed, hinting to him that he may be pressing too hard for details about you.

“Just making conversation.”

“The bad memories would refer to the entire reason why I had to set rules in my life; you know, the ones that you continuously talk me into breaking.”

“Sorry about that,” he chuckled.

“They’re the reason why you and I will never be more than what we are.” You said it quietly, studying his expression. He watched you, looking almost concerned. You were trying to subtly hint that your past was the reason behind your damage and the fact that you found it impossible to have feelings for anyone. You only hoped that you could tell him this without going into detail.

“I didn’t realize…”

“What?”

“You mentioned maybe once about someone you had trouble with. The reason you kept your life private.”

“Yeah.”

“And I just came right in and forced you to give it all up to me even though you had a reason for not letting people in.”

“You didn’t force me into anything.”

“What happened?”

“That’s a long story,” you said with a smile, “and I think I’ve given you enough.”

“Of course,” he laughed, “we’re getting too close again.”

* * *

As the night began to wind down, Briana insisted that you head home. You had worked a week straight to help Kim out, and mostly just to keep yourself busy. It was fairly early on a slow night, so you were excited to get out of there at a decent time.

“Wanna grab some food?” Rob asked. He stood from his spot at the bar as you gathered your belongings. You had been looking forward to just going home, being alone for the night; but he smiled at you and those blue eyes looked at you in adoration. Something you weren’t used to.

“I could eat,” you replied.

“There’s a place close by. We can walk if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” you replied. It seemed that even though you had been fighting constantly, he was at least willing to play nice tonight. He was being nice, not yelling at you and reminding you of what a jerk you were. Truthfully, you enjoyed his friendship and you wanted to remain on good terms. You didn’t think it was possible, not with the way you treated each other, but if he was willing to try, why shouldn’t you?

You walked the four blocks with him to a little restaurant; talking and laughing. It was nice to be with someone like this. You figured that, if you and Rob hadn’t gone down the road you chose in the beginning, he might be really enjoyable company. You liked to be around him. You enjoyed the way the two of you used to flirt back and forth; it had been exciting up until everything went downhill. It was your own fault though, and the idea that you could have possibly been something else with him was a painful thought.

You had ordered your late night meals, and Rob was in the middle of telling an entertaining story about something that had happened on the last tour. He relayed the event with excitement in his eyes, laughing hard, that amazing smile crossing his face. It had been a long time since you had seen him smile like this.

You in turn, laughed along with him, shaking your head as he retold the story. You realized that it had been a long time since you had laughed like this.

“It’s like the four of you are brothers who just get to hang out all the time, make music, and do really crazy shit,” you mused.

“Yeah, it really is. I have the best job in the world.”

“Well, you’re very good at it.”

“Thanks.”

“I mean it,” you began. “I see bands move through the bar constantly. I’m no music expert, but you guys are the only ones that I actually listen to outside of work.”

“Really? You have our albums?”

“I may have hit up your merch booth in the past. Don’t let it inflate your ego.”

“I’ll try not to.”

“How is the new stuff coming along?”

“It’s good,” he said as he breathed out heavily, obviously still feeling the stress. “It’s done actually.”

“Really? I had no idea.”

“Well, we haven’t exactly talked much lately. But, it’s done and I’m feeling really good about it.”

“Just in time for your record release party.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s next week.”

“I can’t wait.”

He gave you a knowing look, biting his bottom lip as he watched you.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothing, I just- I don’t know that you’ll like the album that much.”

“What do you mean, I already said I love your stuff.”

“I mean, you know we started working on this thing around the time I met you. This whole thing… it’s been a mess, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it has,” you admitted.

“Well, I write a lot about what I’m feeling, what I’m going through.”

“I already know you wrote a song about me, Rob. You told me. As long as no one else knows it’s about me, I can still think it’s a good song.”

“Yeah,” he trailed off for a moment, “yeah, definitely.”

“What else is new in your life?” You asked.

“Are you trying to get to know me?” He joked, leaning his elbows against the table as he gave you an incredulous look.

You chuckled at him, “I’m trying to be nice. Friendly even.”

“Nothing’s new,” he responded, “I’m still hung up on that girl I told you about though.”

You perked up then, unsure of the girl he was talking about. You figured you’d remember if he had told you about someone he was interested in recently.

“Oh? I don’t think I remember this discussion.”

“Yeah, you do,” he smiled softly.

When you finally realized that he was referring to you, you rolled your eyes at him, fake laughing to ease the sudden tension. He was certainly growing bolder. What used to be little hints about his feelings for you, had turned into outright declarations of how much he cared for you.

Before you could respond, your food arrived. You went right to eating, hoping that the discussion could end now that you had food in your mouth. Rob, however, didn’t want to drop it.

“Are we just going to pretend that what happened the other night, didn’t happen?”

You chewed slowly, avoiding eye contact. When you finally swallowed your food, you could only try to ignore what he was referring to. You hadn’t been hurt by his words that night. Scared? Maybe. Angry at yourself? Definitely.

“What do you mean? I told you I was upset, I’m not pretending that I wasn’t.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

You shook your head at him, pretending that you didn’t know what he meant.

“I told you that I was falling in love with you.”

You felt your heart sink again. Nothing would ever prepare you for those words. You had tried so hard to pretend it didn’t happen, for his sake.

“Well, now is a really good time to take it back,” you joked.

“I can’t.”

“We were having such a nice time tonight.” Your words were blunt, an attempt to let him know that he was overstepping again. You wanted so desperately to just ignore it, pretend it never happened.

“We can still have a nice time. I like being around you.”

“We are absolutely horrible to each other. Why would you confuse that with love?” you reminded him.

“I like to think we’re… passionate.”

You nearly choked on your food. “I don’t call that passion, I call that two a-holes who can’t get along.”

“Either way, I wasn’t lying.”

“Remember how I kicked you out right after you said it?” you asked. “I may have been a bit drunk, but I know what happened. That should be indication enough that you should just drop it.”

“What are you so afraid of, Lola?” He asked seriously.

You had visibly cringed. God, you hated hearing that name come from him. You didn’t know why. You had tried so hard for so long to remain that girl, especially when it came to him. In all actuality, you never were Lola with him, he never allowed it. You also never wanted him to catch on to the fact that you were afraid of him or of this whole situation. But there it was. The thing you were trying to ignore this whole time. You weren’t supposed to be afraid of anything. It was a large part of your made-up existence that you were the kind of girl who took no shit from anyone, could drink any man under the table, and was not afraid of a damn thing. Lola had at some point, taken over. You were her through and through. It made it easier to get by to be honest. Perhaps, somewhere along the way in this messed up situation that you had fallen into with Rob, Lola had started to disappear. Maybe you had let your guard down enough to where he knew that you were afraid of something. But you were still Lola enough to realize when it was necessary to keep lying to yourself, especially when you were afraid.

“I’m not afraid of anything,” you spat. “I’m pissed off that you keep doing this. You keep trying to push this when you know what it’s supposed to be.”

“Yeah, but why does it have to be just that?” He raised his voice slightly. You could tell he was getting worked up over your insistence that he was alone in his feelings. “Why can’t it be more?”

“Because it just isn’t!” You shouted. You caught yourself, ignoring the glares of the other people in the restaurant who had looked over at your outburst. “I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t feel the same way.”

“Then why do you break your rules for me? Why do I always feel like you’re letting your guard down just a little bit at a time?”

“You’re confused I guess. I’m so tired of going through this with you. Why can’t you just accept it, or let it go?”

“If you’re so tired of it, why can’t you just let it go?”

“I hate you,” you mumbled as you shoved more food in your mouth. You didn’t mean it. You never hated him. You were mostly angry that he was right.

“No you don’t,” he smiled.

“This is over. I’m done with this.”

“You keep saying that,” he reminded you, “but how long will it be until I get another phone call?”

“You’re just as bad, you know you need to stay away and you come running everytime I do call.”

“Well, we already know why I don’t stay away. We just don’t know why you can’t.”

You kept quiet for a moment, trying not to give yourself away any more than you had. All you could do was choose your words carefully; keep letting him down to save your own skin.

“You’re just a really good lay.”

“I’m flattered,” he chuckled, “but I don’t think that’s the only reason.”

You leaned back in your chair, smirking at him. He was bold tonight, that’s for sure.

“The rules are that we don’t get attached. We don’t develop feelings; and even if we did, we certainly don’t talk about them.”

“I’ve already told you that I am done with your rules,” he smiled.

“I’m not though.”

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I mean, you’ve broken most of them for me. Who’s to say that I can’t get you to break a few more?”

You held his gaze, both of you staring as if you were challenging each other. This side of Rob was a turn on; the way he stared you down almost hungrily. He was desperate to catch you in a lie at this point. All he wanted to hear was that you might feel a little something more for him than what you let on. You wanted him very badly in this moment and you weren’t sure why. He was testing you; and you liked it.

“Not a chance,” you replied. “But, you’re welcome to try.”

“Okay Lola, my place or yours?” He asked with a grin.

* * *

In true Y/N and Rob fashion, you had ended up at his place. Both of you had become so worked up over your late night dinner that he asked for the check before you even had the chance to finish your meals. You didn’t even bother to walk the four blocks back to the bar to get your car, and instead called a cab.

So, here you were, yet again; in his bed, touching and kissing, unable to keep yourselves away from each other. He kissed you hard, letting his tongue taste yours, his hands wandering. You knew you shouldn’t feel this way, but you felt like you were where you belonged.

“Lola,” he groaned as he broke the kiss, now focusing on the removal of your clothes.

“Stop calling me that,” you demanded. It had been pretty incessant the past few days. You didn’t know why he suddenly felt the urge to use your moniker, but you quickly found that you hated it. Anyone else in the world could call you Lola, hell, you expected them to; but when he did it, it sent your blood boiling. It wasn’t even an annoyance at this point; it literally angered you.

He gave you a sly grin, as if he knew damn well that it was getting to you. You didn’t know what he was playing at, but you knew he was doing this for a reason.

He pinned you down, moving in between your thighs and nuzzling his mouth against your neck.

“What do you want me to call you?” He asked as he nipped at your skin. You moaned, already losing it and he hadn’t even properly touched you. “Bartender?”

“I like that,” you responded.

“Or, Y/N?”

You moaned again, now writhing beneath him as he began to thrust his hips against you.

“Oh…” he began as he leaned up to look at you, a pleased smile on his face, “that’s the one.”

You nodded, speechless now as you waited for him to give you what you wanted.

* * *

“Stay,” he mumbled against your mouth as the two of you came down from your highs. This time hadn’t been like the last time. It was another instance of him taking his time, the way he liked to do; and you letting him even if it meant he was making love to you. You pretended that you hated the way he did this, but you had stopped objecting to these kinds of nights together a long time ago.

“I can’t,” you replied. You attempted to push him away from you so that you could dress quickly and get out of there, afraid that you had already made this more than what it should be. .

“Can’t? Or won’t?”

You paused, suddenly caught off-guard by the familiar question. “What?”

“There’s a big difference.”

“Haven’t we discussed that difference before?”

“We have,” he smiled, “you can’t stay because you think you shouldn’t? Or you can’t because you actually don’t want to?”

“I shouldn’t.” You don’t know how he had done it, but he brought you right back to the first night you had been with him. He had challenged you in the same exact way, and you knew he was doing it on purpose.

“I know you want to though.”

You thought about what to say next. The last time he had used this, you easily pointed out that you shouldn’t stay because you were in a relationship. This time, your reasoning was a lot more complicated. Last time, you had caved easily. You had given in to the way he made you feel, the possibility that you could have more with him than what you had with Tyler.

You relaxed against him, letting him wrap his arms around you as he kissed you softly on the lips before turning his attention to kissing along your collarbone; his beard rubbing against your skin, those lips sending waves of lightning through your body each time they made contact. You sighed, closing your eyes, figuring it didn’t hurt anything to maybe just enjoy the aftermath for once. You didn’t have to use the “L” word. But, you could let yourself feel loved for a moment.

“Don’t read too much into this,” you whispered as he continued to praise your body. “You tend to do that.”

* * *

The next morning, Rob took you out to breakfast after he woke you up earlier than you usually woke up. He didn’t make the move to give it another round; instead he cuddled you until you were practically forced out of bed just to avoid that type of interaction. You had showered and went out to a diner where you drank your weight in coffee as you tried to comprehend the fact that you were up before ten a.m.

“You are not a morning person,” he pointed out.

“You think?” You grumbled. “I work all night long and hardly ever get home before two in the morning. This whole, awake at seven shit is stupid.”

“Sorry, sometimes I just have to be up early.”

“Well, don’t drag me down with you.”

He chuckled at your grumpiness, watching quietly as you got to work on another cup of coffee. The waitress showed up finally, placing your breakfast on the table and checking to see if you needed anything else. You waved her off, not in the mood to talk; but she stood there for a moment, looking eagerly at Rob. It took him a minute to politely ask if she was okay, also wondering why she was just standing there.

“I’m sorry,” she smiled, “I know I’m working and I shouldn’t be doing this, but I just have to tell you that I’m a big fan.”

Rob smiled hard at her and you perked up. This was the first time that you had ever witnessed a fan encounter outside of the bar. It was already very different, and you were curious.

“Thank you,” he replied.

“I go to all your shows around the city, if I can. You’re so great and your music is so important to me.”

“You’re sweet. Are you going to the release party next weekend?”

“Of course I am,” she replied, looking as if she were about to cry, “I already have a ticket and I’m so excited.”

“Well, I will definitely see you there.”

She nodded nervously. “I know this is inappropriate, but… do you think I could get a picture? I might get fired if someone sees, but it would be worth it.”

Rob laughed, standing immediately as the girl pulled her phone out. She was grinning ear to ear, fumbling with the screen. You noticed her hands were shaking uncontrollably and you assumed that she was meeting someone that she really admired.

“Let me,” you said as you reached your hand out for her phone. She handed it over and you made sure to snap a bunch of pictures for her before handing it back.

“Thank you,” she said quickly before returning her attention to Rob, “I’ll leave you alone now. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem at all,” Rob replied as he returned to his seat.

“Let me know if you need anything else,” she said. She then turned back to you, still smiling, before addressing Rob again.”Your girlfriend is very pretty. I mean, I assumed she’s your girlfriend… I’m sorry.” She became anxious again, looking back to you as if she knew she overstepped. “You’re very lucky to be dating him, if you are I mean. Either way, you two are so cute together.” She shut up then, moving away from you quickly.

“That was interesting,” you stated when she was out of earshot.

“It doesn’t happen a lot, but I do have fans.”

“You were very nice to her,” you said. It had been an interesting change for you to see how he really reacted with his fans. That’s not to say that you expected him to be a jerk, but you hadn’t really taken the time to pay much attention to who he was outside of the bar or bedroom.

“Of course, I’m a nice guy. Plus, I wouldn’t be where I am without the fans. Everyone always says that, but it’s true.”

“Well, that was sweet. You really made her day”

“Yeah, and we have confirmation that you and I look so damn cute together.”

“Shut it, Rob.” You crumbled up a napkin, throwing it across the table and it hit him square in the face.

“Hey,” he said seriously, pointing a fork at you, “be nice. You’re very lucky to be dating me.”

* * *

After breakfast, Rob drove you to the bar so that you could pick up your car. He stayed in his seat, waiting for you to get out. He was up early today because he had work to do; and your plan was to get your car, drive home, and go back to bed.

“Thanks for breakfast,” you said as you reached for the door.

“Any time. There’s more where that came from, if you decide to stay over more often.”

“Not if you’re waking me up at seven a.m.”

“We should do this again,” he said, “hang out I mean. It doesn’t always have to be about sex.”

“I’m not going to date you,” you reminded him.

“Well, you kinda already did. Twice in the last twenty-four hours actually.”

“Oh yeah, dinner and breakfast,” you mused. “This is getting too serious.”

“It was nice though. We should have dinner again tonight. I can cook.”

He seemed so happy right now. It was different from how he usually carried himself when you were with him. He was smiling more and easier to talk to. That’s when you realized that you were falling back into your habit of leading him on. It wasn’t fair to him, and you knew that no matter how nice it had all been, it wasn’t going to continue.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You tried to be softer about it this time. All too often, you were yelling at each other, hurting each other; and you really just wanted to let him down gently, especially since he had told you he loved you. You knew what that was like. Loving someone who only let you down.

“Will I ever be able to convince you that this is a good idea?”

“I don’t think so,” you said. Even you were surprised by the sound of regret in your voice.

He looked away from you; his happy demeanor changing in an instant. You had fucked up again. You had let him take you out, treat you as if you were dating, you let him make love to you, and you had stayed the night again. You knew all along that you had been leading him on. You were doing it again. Your brief lapse in judgement had hurt him again, all because you wanted to feel something for just a moment.

“Alright, go. I have to be somewhere and I’m already late.”

“I’ll see you later?”

“I don’t know,” he choked out. “Things have come up. I don’t think I’ll see you until next weekend, and even then… I don’t know.”

“Okay,” you said softly, understanding completely that he wanted you to leave and he probably didn’t want to look at you for a while. “Hey, Rob?”

He glanced over to you, questioning you with a look.

“We’re friends, right?” The offer in itself was a big step for you. You never imagined having feelings for the man, and you had convinced yourself that even trying to be friends after everything was impossible. Still, you didn’t want to lose him completely. Someday, he would really be over all of this, and you’d probably regret it if you lost him forever. It wasn’t what he really wanted, but it was all that you felt you could offer.

“Sure,” he responded, forcing a small smile. You didn’t buy it. How could he want to stay friends with someone like you?

You said nothing else, there wasn’t anything that you could say at this point. You got out of his car, standing there as he drove away.

For a split second, you considered calling him right away; asking him to come back so that you could fix all of this. You gripped your phone in your pocket, forcing yourself not to call him; mostly because you knew that if you did call, he’d still come running. He didn’t need more of your uncertainty in his life. And you knew that you didn’t know how to fix anything anyway.

For the first time in a long time, you felt alone. You felt as if you had made a huge mistake; one that you repeated over and over again until you had finally driven away the one person who at least admitted to caring about you, regardless of how messed up you were.

In the end, you were both messed up in your own ways. You didn’t really understand his damage, but you figured yours was enough to deal with. Two people who viewed this relationship, or whatever it was, in two completely different ways, could never work. You had been there, twice actually; in relationships that began as something that seemed like love, and only ended in pain. You had convinced yourself, and even Briana, that you were avoiding love because you were afraid that he would turn into the exact thing that you had left too many times.

You knew, however, that you were only afraid of what you could do to him. Tyler had been right about one thing, the common denominator in everything that went wrong with the people around you, was you. You were no good in relationships and you were no good for him.


	18. Roll Me Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone reaches their breaking point. Reader may have reached hers; and she isn’t expecting this reaction from Rob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used Roll Me Over and Fair by Louden Swain in this chapter.

It was the night of Louden Swain’s record release party. The place was packed; a lot of familiar faces, and even more unfamiliar faces. You had done your part in avoiding Rob since you had let him down, yet again. He had basically brushed you off again anyway; telling you he had something come up and reverting back to ignoring you. You knew he was stressed and busy with the new album coming out, and even more stressed over you. You didn’t blame him. He had obviously put himself out there completely to you, and you were sure you hurt his ego.

Now, it was awkward since you were both here and unsure of how to even approach each other. You had promised yourself that it was over, and you wanted to mean it. Not because you were too worried about getting yourself into another shitty situation; but because you were worried about hurting him any more than you already had. You weren’t capable of love, you couldn’t even admit that you liked the guy. It was no longer an issue of the two of you being bad for each other. You knew you were the one who was bad for him. 

Rob mostly avoided you tonight, probably embarrassed over the way he had admitted his feelings for you, just for you to kick him out of your bed. He had taken you out on two dates apparently, and the two of you had had a really nice time, but you still couldn’t accept the fact that he had said he loved you. It was too much, and you really thought that he was losing his mind at this point. Still, you engaged in an actual conversation with him, maybe flirted with him, and certainly didn’t jump on the defense over the ‘couple’ talk at breakfast. You were being cruel, and he was being way too open.

You wanted to remain friends, and you tried to be friendly. There was a short conversation, some laughter, and some glances at each other before he headed off to set up for the show. There was also a woman in attendance that you felt you recognized who seemed to stay awfully close to Rob the entire time.

You didn’t have much time to study her, or to feel jealous. You were busy, and you knew you had to be focused tonight since it was a big deal for the guys, as well as for Kim. You tried to ignore everyone, and you tried to ignore the way your stomach twisted into knots just at the idea of him being with someone else. Lost in thought, and work, you looked up at one point to see Jason heading your way.

“Who’s your friend?” You asked flirtatiously as Jason approached the bar with the stranger. Despite the fact that you were a mess tonight, you slipped easily into your role of Lola.

“This is Rich,” Jason answered.

“Hi Rich. I love meeting new friends.”

“He’s the band manager.”

“Fancy. Sounds like an okay job.”

“Hey, I’m happy to work with talent like this,” Rich chuckled.

You reached a hand out to him which he took, “I’m Lola. It’s very nice to meet you.”

“No shit…” Rich replied, giving you an amused look, “THE Lola?”

You pulled your hand from his, now uncomfortable. “I didn’t realize I was famous.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” he continued.

“All good I hope. But, it’s more likely you haven’t heard good things.”

“Maybe a bit of both,” Rich laughed.

“I’m confused,” you admitted, turning to look at Jason.

“Hey, your name might have been dropped a few times in the studio,” Jason replied.

“I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“If it makes you feel better, it was either ‘Lola’ or ‘bartender’. None of us know your real name even if Rob said you had told him.”

“Well, I suppose I don’t have to punish him later then.”

“He was right,” Rich added, “you are a firecracker.”

“I’m very curious as to what was said about me though. I didn’t realize I was the talk of the band.”

“You were mostly the talk of Rob. The band didn’t have much to do with it. He is the lyricist after all.”

“I knew he wrote a song about me, just didn’t know everyone else knew it was about me.”

“Well, I didn’t really know much about that. All I do know is that you were mentioned during recording.”

“Jason? You two need a drink?” You asked, wanting to change the subject and change it quickly.

Jason ordered for him and Rich, leaving so that they could watch the show from somewhere closer. You were grateful for that, already feeling thrown off at the idea that Rob may have mentioned you outside of the bar. You certainly never talked about him to anyone other than Briana, and you had assumed he kept your existence fairly quiet as well. No one wants to throw it out there that they are sleeping around with someone.

* * *

You recognized her from somewhere. You couldn’t help but stare as you tried to work. It was really bothering you; not so much that you couldn’t place her, but mostly the fact that Rob had brought her here… you hated that they seemed so close. You also couldn’t help but notice the way she hung around Rob as the band set up. She was right there as Rob made his way to the bar, just minutes before they were due to play. They seemed to be in the middle of a conversation as they walked and their closeness left you feeling uncomfortable. She wasn’t the same woman that he had shown up with in an attempt to make you jealous. But, you knew that you had seen her before.

“Bartender,” Rob said casually. The woman he was with was close by and you figured he was trying not to seem interested in you.

“What’ll you have?”

“The usual.”

“Your friend there?” You nodded to the woman who had just joined him at the bar.

“I’ll have a vodka martini,” she replied.

“Of course you will,” you looked at Rob, giving him a playful smile. The woman still looked very familiar. She also seemed very professional and not at all like anyone else Rob hung out with. You focused on making her drink, grabbing Rob’s beer when you were done and delivering the drinks to them. The woman thanked you and turned her attention to talking to some other women behind her.

You tilted your head at Rob, raising your brows as if to ask about the girl he was with.

He didn’t indulge you; instead, he drank his beer while eyeing you with a sly grin. The two of you engaged in a silent conversation. You gathered that he was definitely here with her. He figured you wanted to know who she was, and he teased by basically saying he wouldn’t tell you.

“I like your shirt,” he said, still ignoring the fact that you were curious about the woman.

You leaned back, displaying your band tee that you were wearing for the first time.

“Well, it is your record release, I sort of had to wear it.”

“Looks good on you.”

“Hmm, I’ve been told that at least one fourth of the band looks good on me.” You didn’t mean to flirt. In fact, you knew you shouldn’t. The jealousy of knowing that he was here with someone else had taken over though. You didn’t want it to, but you couldn’t help it anymore. You suddenly felt that is was necessary to fight for what was yours, even if he really wasn’t. You didn’t know this woman, but she was stepping in on something that you still felt was yours. You had literally just been with Rob a week ago, and even if you felt that he was doing this again to make you jealous, you played along.

As soon as you said it, the woman turned back to the two of you. You had said it loud enough that you were sure she had heard. She gave you an unamused look before turning to Rob. You watched as she leaned in, awkwardly giving him a kiss on his cheek.

“I’m going to go sit at the table,” she said softly. “I’ll see you after the show.”

Rob nodded, leaving his head down as she walked away.

“Wow, you really do move quick,” you said. “I’m sorry if my joke was inappropriate. I don’t mean to mess up your game.”

“She’s my ex-girlfriend.” Rob said calmly as he looked up at you. “I mean, I know you don’t care, but I figured I should tell you anyway. I tried to tell you about her at one pointt, but I knew that was a bad idea.”

“Oh, I thought she looked familiar,” you replied, feeling a knot in your throat now. “I didn’t realize you were still seeing her.”

“I’m not. But, she got a hold of me a few weeks ago and said she wanted to talk.”

“You’ve been seeing your ex girlfriend for a few weeks? While you’ve been fucking me?” You felt yourself get angry without really knowing why.

“Okay, first of all, this is coming from a woman who literally had a boyfriend while she was sleeping with me?”

“Well, I think we can all agree that I’m pretty messed up. I just didn’t realize that you were too.”

“Secondly, I’m not sleeping with her. We’ve been talking. So stop pretending to be jealous for a minute.”

“I’m not jealous, I have nothing to be jealous about,” you lied.

“We’re talking, that’s it.”

“So, you’ve been talking?”

“Yeah. I don’t know…” he trailed off, looking away from you, “she wants to give us another shot.”

“Oh,” was all you managed to say. You swear you felt an ache in your chest as he explained. It didn’t make sense to feel this way, after all, you didn’t want him; not like that anyway.

“Bartender, since you and I are strictly fucking around, can I still pay you for advice?”

“I don’t know that I’d be much help in the way of this kind of advice, but I can give it a shot.”

“She left me, you know… before you and I started hooking up. I was pretty hurt over the whole thing. Kinda moved on from it since we had our thing going on. But, she’s back right now and I’m sort of confused at how to handle this. I don’t know if I should give her another chance?”

“It depends,” you replied, trying hard not to show that you were sort of freaking out over the conversation. “Why did she dump you in the first place?”

“That would be my fault,” he explained, “you know, the life of a musician. Traveling too much, late night shows, working every day. I wasn’t around enough.”

“What’s changed her mind?”

“She said she misses me. Says she made a mistake and she’s willing to be with me and just learn to get past the life I lead.”

“Sounds like a good woman.”

Rob nodded, giving you a soft smile.

“What are you asking me exactly?” You added.

“If you think it’s smart for me to give it another chance.”

“You know, when I said you could always ask me for my professional bartender advice, I didn’t mean that this was my specialty. Relationships are not something I know a lot about.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know if it would be weird to ask you about this. I just thought we were at least friendly enough that I could come to you with things like this.”

“We’re friends. Maybe really messed up friends,” you grinned, “I don’t know Rob, I guess… do what makes you happy. You love her?”

“I did, yeah. She hurt me, but I still care about her.”

“Then I guess you just need to decide if it’s worth giving it another chance. You’re a total relationship guy,” You laughed. “and she’s wanting to give you that again.”

“Yeah,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry. It was stupid of me to bring this up to you.”

“It’s okay,” you reached over, grabbing his hand. “I’m… surprisingly happy that you feel comfortable enough to come to me with this kind of stuff.”

“You know, if I decide to try things with her again; this thing,” he said, motioning between the two of you, “has to stop.”

“Of course it does,” you replied. You forced a smile, just now realizing that Briana had been right. This was never going to last, not when he would find what he wanted somewhere else.

“You’re okay with that?”

“I don’t suppose I’d have a choice. Besides, this thing was supposed to end on multiple occasions.”

“We weren’t going to keep doing this forever, you know.”

“I know,” you said, “all good things must come to an end. At least you’ll be getting what you really want.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t know.” You turned from him, avoiding his gaze when you thought you felt tears well up. You fought them back, determined not to show any emotion. “I guess someday I’ll get what I really want as well. When I figure out what that is.”

“I have a lot to think about, don’t I?” He squeezed your hand that was still holding his, searching you for something. You had a feeling that you knew what he was searching for.

“You do,” you replied, “Just… don’t make me a factor in that decision.”

“Yeah, I know.” His lips turned up briefly, as if he tried to smile but failed. You were sure the way you had denied his feelings for you was still fresh in his mind.

“So, think about what you really want. Just do what makes you happy.”

“I will. But, first I have a show.” He grabbed the shot that you had poured for him and downed it quickly before standing to head for the stage. “You watching?”

“I’ll watch the best I can,” you smiled as you motioned to the bar.

* * *

“Thanks for being here at our record release party. It means so much to us to have such a loyal fanbase. And we’re gonna play our new stuff, which you can now officially buy at our merch table.”

You leaned back against the bar, watching and listening in between helping customers. You really enjoyed their new stuff, and found yourself smiling at how great of a lyricist Rob really was. The band worked through most of the songs from the album, and you were impressed. Yes, you had indulged in their previous work; all of which you enjoyed. But, this was different in a way. You couldn’t help but feel as if most of these songs touched on whatever pain it was that Rob had been feeling in the last few months. Most of the songs were heartbreaking, some were fun, and all of them were great. You only hoped that you had remained just a small fraction of the inspiration behind the album. You at least knew one song was about you; and when you remembered that he was here with his ex, it sort of eased your mind slightly to think that the rest were about her.

Near the end of their set, Rob introduced the next song; which was strange because he offered no explanation for any of the other songs.

“This is one we’ve played once, before the album was even done. I wrote it about someone who kinda fucked me up. What we had was a little messed up, and maybe we were a little messed up, but I still loved her.”

You felt your breath catch, thinking for some reason that he was talking about you. Then, you remembered that his ex, or on again girlfriend, whatever she was; was sitting right up front, watching as well. It made more sense that he was talking about her. You certainly didn’t know details about their relationship, but you did know that he had loved her and had been very hurt when she left him. You steadied your breathing, turning to busy yourself with something else as you tried to fight back what might be tears. Why you were feeling so upset over all of this was beyond you. Yes, you cared about him, but not in the same way that he wanted you to.

Girl you come and say my name

You come and anything

Anything you say I melt for you

When you stare into my eyes,

You give me exercise

All the pain and lies, I follow you

You recognized the lyrics right away. It was the same song they had played the first night of their residency. It was the same song that he had said was about how shitty it was to fall in love. It was the song that he had blatantly told you he had written about you.

_You’re the choir and the church_

_I got thoughts that break away_

_They beg to stay_

_Like a heart attack_

_Right behind my back_

_Love is more than just a push_

_It’s a thrust_

_It’s a shove me down_

_Roll me over_

_When it’s over_

You turned your focus on him, knowing now that these songs were never about his ex. Everything he had written was about you. Everything from the way he talked about working on it, to the talk with Jason and Rich led you to this understanding. You were sure you had known all along, you just chose to ignore it. You didn’t want to be the girl behind the songs, especially not these ones. He looked toward you just then, and you made eye contact as he kept singing.

_They say that winter’s just begun_

_The clouds have shot the sun_

_It’s bleeding in a shade of overcast_

_But I got warmth inside my coat_

_I’m soiling all my oats_

_A cord is pulling steadily at my throat_

_You’re the executioner_

_I got thoughts that break away_

_They beg to stay_

_Like a heart attack_

_Right behind my back_

_Love is more than just a push_

_It’s a thrust_

_It’s a shove me down_

_Roll me over_

_When it’s over_

While he didn’t look away from you, you glanced around, trying to put your focus on something else now that you felt so uncomfortable. It wasn’t a happy song. It was painful to hear, and even more painful to know that you were the one to make him feel like this. You hated that he had let himself get to this point with you, and you kept telling yourself that it wasn’t your fault he had been so hurt.

Briana was watching you, giving you a sympathetic look as if to agree that it was sort of messed up for him to obviously put his attention on you during this song. You looked away from her, glancing back to Rob and you noticed his ex, turning back to see what had his attention. You felt yourself turn red when she spotted you, knowing damn well that the bartender she had caught flirting with him was the muse behind the song. She glared at you and you turned away again, only looking back to Rob every once in awhile.

_Girl you come and pull me in,_

_You come and tuck me in_

_Tuck me and say you’ll dream with me_

_You, you stay like apple pie,_

_You stain like Cali wine_

_Say the word and I will follow you_

_Your gates are open wide_

Your heart began to race at the way he never took his eyes off of you during the entire song. For the first time in a long time, you felt a knot in your throat, tears threatening to spill. You didn’t know why. The song had been emotional; obviously for him when you had seen the way he had sang it, and it was surprisingly emotional for you. You realized then that the man had gotten in way to deep with you, and he was visibly distraught that he couldn’t have you the way he wanted to.

“I’m nothing,” you mumbled, looking over to Bri, “I’m just a bartender who messed around with the guy. Why is he doing this?”

Briana shrugged as she watched you begin to cry. It was all too much. All at once, you understood exactly how he felt. You realized how he had been hurt and still kept coming back to you. He had willingly kept going back for more, knowing that you couldn’t give him what he wanted. It was a love note in his own way. Even having heard him clearly saying those words to you didn’t effect you the same way that this moment did.

You avoided his stare now, as well as the stares coming at you from other directions. You were sure his ex was pissed, and everyone else must be judging you.

_I got thoughts that break away_

_They beg to stay_

_Like a heart attack_

_Right behind my back_

_Love is more than just a push_

_It’s a thrust_

_It’s a shove me down_

_Roll me over_

_When it’s over_

_When it’s over_

Rob sang the final chorus, putting an intense amount of emotion into it.

“Lola,” Bri began, “are you okay?’

“No, I’m not okay!” You shouted, still crying. “Everyone is staring at me and he looks so hurt right now.”

“You knew someone was going to get hurt,” she replied firmly, “and you knew it would be him. He’s a fucking musician, of course he’s going to write about this shit.”

“I’m not supposed to care.”

“Then why do you?”

“Because his ex is here and she wants him back, and I keep pretending that it doesn’t bother me. Then he sings that fucking song and just stares at me the entire time.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t want this! I don’t want to hurt him, and I don’t want her to come back and mess everything up.”

“There’s nothing to mess up Lola, he’s not your boyfriend.”

“I know that!” You shouted at her. You were increasingly angry. Not at her, at yourself again. You hated that you didn’t know how to express what you felt, and it was difficult considering you were feeling so much right now.

“Then why? Why are you so upset over something that you don’t want, something that someone else wants back?”

“Because I love him.” You said it before you could stop yourself. You had kept holding onto that for so long, letting the words hide in the back of your mind, hoping they would just stay there. You weren’t supposed to fall in love, and you had done so well at keeping it hidden. You began to cry a little harder.

“Jesus, Lola,” Bri whispered.

“This is all so fucked up. I can’t feel this way about him, and I thought we could just keep doing this without having to admit anything. Then she comes back into the picture, and that’s what he wants. He wants a relationship, and she can give that to him. That song was a big ‘fuck you’ to me and I just… I can’t.”

The band had moved on to another song, and you were still standing behind the bar, sobbing and just hoping that no one had caught on. You were embarrassed and angry at yourself for getting yourself into this position. There was a reason why you neglected to involve actual emotions in this relationship. There was a reason why you encouraged Rob to do the same. Now, with just one song, everything had spilled out.

You kept your back to the crowd, letting Briana take over while you tried to compose yourself. They were playing a slower song, and in between sobs, you listened to the lyrics.

_Goddamn this affair_

_It’s taking me there_

_It’s taking away_

_A life of you_

_The vows gone astray_

_Just for the day_

_Heart so betrayed_

_Once tried and true_

_And you I can’t stand what you put me through_

_And you I can’t stand what you put me through_

Now it was too much for you. You were certain now that every word to every song was aimed at you and how heartless and unfeeling you were. You wiped your face with the back of your hand and walked quickly from behind the bar to find somewhere to hide. As you made your way to the front entrance, Matt stopped you.

“You okay Lola?”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, still unable to control your tears. “I just need some air.”

You pushed past him and darted for the exit.

Once outside, you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself. You could still hear the music, muffled now that you were safe outside. You focused on your breathing, eventually getting yourself to relax a little and to stop crying.

You leaned against the wall, seriously considering just getting into your car and leaving until you realized all of your stuff was still inside. The last thing you wanted to do was go back inside though. So, you leaned your head back and breathed in the chill of the night air for a long time. You didn’t even notice when the music from the band inside had ended.

After a while, you were startled from your own thoughts by a voice.

“Bartender?”

You lifted your head, opening your eyes to see Rob standing there. He let the door close behind him when you looked at him, stepping slowly toward you.

“Are you okay?”

You nodded, eyes still burning. “I’m okay.”

“I saw you got really upset. Then you just ran out during the last song.”

“I got a little emotional.”

“Look, I’m glad you’re still here, because I wanted to talk.”

“I couldn’t leave, my keys are inside and someone made it a little uncomfortable for me in there,” you pointed out as you wiped more tears from your face.

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Why? Why did you have to call me out like that?”

“I didn’t say your name.”

“No, but you stared at me the entire time. Everyone knew it was about me. The way your girlfriend looked at me…” you trailed off, words catching in your throat.

“Why did you get so upset anyway? It’s just a song. You knew I wrote it about you. You could have brushed it off, pretended it wasn’t you I was looking at.”

“I got upset because it was about me. A lot of those songs felt like they were directed at me.”

“They were,” he said. “I’ve been feeling a lot of different things since I met you, and I just- I write about it all. I’m sorry, but you made for a pretty good album.”

“Why me?”

Rob shrugged, “I fell in love with you. I told you that. I fell for you and I was stupid and I stuck around hoping that you’d feel the same way at some point. I thought you almost did for a second. But, all we ever got out of this was just hurting each other and not getting what either of us wanted.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I made you feel that way. I really am. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you more.”

“Really?” He asked. You looked up at him, seeing that he now looked upset. His eyes were wet with tears, and he pursed his lips at you, trying to hold back. “After everything, you can still stand there and say that there is still nothing here?”

“What?”

“You really can just be with someone for this long and not have any feelings whatsoever?”

“No,” you said softly. “That’s the problem.”

“What did I do?” He asked in frustration.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you.”

“Okay, I know that.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “I’m so fucking stupid. I’m throwing away the best sex I’ve ever had all because I can’t keep my feelings to myself. What if I just promised to shut the fuck up? If I promised to never tell you how I feel ever again, could we just go back to what we were?”

You shook your head at him, “No, we can’t. Rob, your girlfriend… she’s what you really want.”

“No,” he said as he narrowed his eyebrows at you, “she’s not what I want. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Then why did you even ask me if I thought it was smart for you to take her back? If you weren’t considering that it would be good for you, why ask?”

“I was just… trying to make you jealous.”

“Really? You still think that’s the way to handle all of this? You can’t get me to say what you want me to say, so you throw out the fact that you could easily be with someone else?”

“I’m an idiot, what can I say?”

“We can’t keep going like this,” you said softly.

He turned from you, running his hands down his face as he breathed out heavily. “God, I really fucked everything up.”

“No, you didn’t. I did.”

“I’m just, so into you. I just wanted to keep being with you even if it meant nothing to you, because I’m pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic, and we can’t go back to what we were,” you began.

“Yeah, I got that part. We’re done. You’re done.”

You held a hand up to him, indicating that he needed to shut up. “We can’t keep doing this because it’s too hard. I can’t keep doing this to you.”

Rob shook his head, showing that he thought he understood what you meant.

“I don’t think of you as ‘the guy I mess around with’ anymore.”

“Yeah, we’re friends,” he replied, “really fucked up friends.”

“No,” you said in return. You paused for a moment, considering whether you should say it. You had spent a lot of time ignoring how you felt, letting yourself ache over the feelings in an attempt to appear to be uncaring.

“Rob, I love you.” You felt the words fall effortlessly from your tongue. It was as if a weight had been lifted from you, and you were terrified at the same time. “It’s really fucking scary to say it out loud.”

“What did you say?” He asked in disbelief. It was as if he had heard exactly what you had said, but assumed he heard it wrong.

“I said I love you.” Again, it wasn’t easier to say it the second time. You immediately wanted to take it back; but, there was no turning back from this. You had finally reached your own breaking point, your walls were gone, mostly. You suddenly felt very vulnerable and afraid; feelings that you told yourself you would never let yourself feel again. But, here he was. He had been completely open and honest with you, and you had done nothing but lie to him for so long. You assumed it was a combination of things that broke you; the songs, his ex wanting him back, the fact that you couldn’t stand to lose him. So you caved. You finally gave in to what he wanted. Now, it was just a matter of what he chose to do with that.

For once, he was left speechless. He watched you, trying to make sense of what he was hearing. Surely, he had never expected you to say it, much less admit that you even liked him at this point. He said nothing; just looked at you in disbelief. You couldn’t really tell at this point if he was angry, or shocked, or thrilled that you had said it.

When he didn’t respond after what seemed like forever; the two of you just standing feet apart, staring at each other; him still in shock and you still crying; you panicked.

“I got so upset because you’ve been hurt by me, thinking that I don’t care about you,” you started to explain. “But I do care, I care so goddamn much that I hate myself for it because I wasn’t supposed to care. I love you and I’m just so afraid to love you.”

“Really?” He chuckled suddenly. You saw him roll his eyes at you, turning away from you as he continued to laugh. “You are a real piece of work, Lola.”

You felt your heart sink just then.

“I thought you’d find a point where you might consider that it’s fucked up to keep messing with someone like you do with me.” He turned back to face you, shaking his head as if he didn’t believe what he was hearing. “How dare you say something like that when you don’t mean it?”

“Rob,” you began, voice cracking again when you realized he didn’t believe you, “I’m sorry. I was horrible to you, I know that. I know it’s fucked up, but I only acted that way because I love you…”

“Stop it!” He cut you off again. His face was turning red with anger. You had seen him pissed off before, but right now, he was seething. “I am so sick of being led on. I let you do it though, and I sort of came to terms with the fact that you would never feel the same way. You made that crystal clear. Now, you’re just being a bitch.”

You decided against arguing. He was angry, and you understood. You couldn’t imagine what it was like for him right now to have the girl that he had fallen in love with, who adamantly told him over and over again that she just didn’t feel the same way about him, tell him that you loved him. Maybe this wasn’t how you expected him to react, but it made sense. You had toyed with him for so damn long, of course he didn’t believe you right now.

“You got jealous,” he added, “realizing that I’m not going to stick around forever, not for this. Don’t get me wrong, it’s flattering. But, you don’t get to say shit like that when you don’t mean it.”

“I do mean it,” you replied, “I understand why you think I don’t, but I do.”

He let out a frustrated sigh, walking toward the door to the bar. Before he disappeared inside, he turned back to you and you could see the hurt in his eyes again.

“Leave me alone,” he muttered. “I’m done with Lola and I’m done with you.”

You flinched as the door shut heavily behind him, breath catching. When it was quiet again, and you were alone; you let out a gasp just in time for the sobbing to begin again. You had fucked up so badly that he didn’t even believe you when you finally let yourself feel something for him.


	19. Right Where I Need to Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time has passed since the night when Reader confessed her feelings to Rob, only to be shot down. She has let go of a lot of things; her old job, her old life, and Lola. There’s still one thing she can’t let go of though.

You didn’t hear from Rob again. Not the following week, or the week after. The band hadn’t been playing at the bar and you learned from Bri that they were off touring again. They would be back though, and you began to wonder if you could even face Rob again. You had hurt him deeply, and he hated you enough to where he didn’t even believe anything that came out of your mouth. You had lied for so long, strung him along, and when it came time for you to finally confess all of your built up feelings; he didn’t believe you.

Kim had called you in for a meeting a couple of weeks after the entire disaster. You didn’t know what it could be about, but you knew it wasn’t good. The only time you met with her like this was when you were in trouble or on the verge of being fired.

“Lola, I’ve had some complaints come up about you.”

“From who?”

“I’m not going to specifically say, but one of the talent that plays here has come to me about some concerns.”

“Oh,” you said softly, knowing who she meant.

“I assume you know who.”

You nodded. You really didn’t consider that he might complain about you to your boss. It was a shitty situation and he was obviously lashing out in the one way he knew how.

“He feels that you’re unprofessional and that you interfere with the band’s performances. I didn’t ask for details, I don’t care, we just need to fix this.”

“Are you firing me?”

“No. I just need to come to some sort of decision on what to do with you. Maybe we can see about changing your shifts.”

“So, I’ll be working the crap shifts?”

“I don’t know what else to do. Their residency is contracted.”

“I understand. I really do. This just- this all sucks.”

“I don’t know what happened,” Kim explained. “I’ve heard rumors going around. It just sounds like you got yourself into another really bad situation.”

“I did.”

“The last time you had a bad situation, you put yourself in danger and you put me in a bind.”

“I know.”

“What else can I do Lola?”

You thought hard about your options. You understood that it would be best to be placed on a different shift, so to avoid Rob. You didn’t want for him to have to see you regularly after everything you had done to him, and you didn’t want to put Kim in a bind again. She had been good to you. She had given you countless chances to work here, and all you ever did was let her down. All you ever seemed to do was let everyone down.

“I’m going to find another job,” you blurted out. You couldn’t deny that the thought had been in the back of your mind for a long time. Especially when it became too difficult to be around Rob.

“I’m not firing you.”

“I know. I just- I need to do something else.”

“You’re good at what you do. I love having you here.”

“I’m not happy doing this anymore. I cause you nothing but trouble, and apparently, I’m bad for business.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m done letting people down. This- this isn’t for me anymore. I think it’s time for me to move on.”

“You’re going to go bartend somewhere else?”

“God no,” you chuckled, trying to hold back tears. “I’m over this. This job is the reason behind a lot of my problems.”

“You know,” Kim began, looking at you sympathetically, “you don’t have to give up what you’re good at just because a guy comes in here and messes up your life.”

“That’s just it, he didn’t mess up my life… I messed up his.”

“What can I do to keep you here?”

You smiled fondly at her, knowing that you were making the right decision. “Nothing.”

* * *

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Briana whined as you busied yourself with clean up. It had been a few days since your talk with Kim and you both decided that you would finish out your week and move on. Tonight, you finally decided to tell Bri that it was your last night at the bar.

“I know,” you smiled, “you’re the only thing I’ll miss about this place.”

You heard Matt clear his throat from across the bar. You glanced over to him, chuckling. “I’ll miss you too.”

“This is so unfair,” Bri pouted, “want me to kick his ass? Because I will. I’ll do it for you.”

“If anyone deserves an ass-kicking, it’s me,” you laughed. “Besides, it’s better this way. It really is.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I got a job at a really fancy place close to here. I’ll be waitressing, which is weird. But, it will be good, I’ll be making more there than I was here. Kim gave me a great recommendation and they seem to like me.”

“Can’t get away from the customer service industry, huh?”

“You know, it’s all about the tip money.”

“Except now you can’t flash a little skin and hit on guys for that tip money.”

“It’s probably a good thing,” you chuckled, “this job has given me nothing but trouble. Trouble finds me and I just let it go on for too long.”

“I really thought he was different,” she replied, “I’m so sorry I encouraged that.”

“Don’t be sorry. He was different. He’s a good guy. I just realized it too late.”

“He was so horrible to you.”

“I think I brought that on myself. I was worse to him.”

You had already given Briana the details of that entire thing. You crashed at her place one night, the two of you sharing a bottle of wine or two, and you finally letting it all out. You had cried until you felt you had no more tears to cry. A part of you thought that by finally saying those words to him, he would be happy. You thought he would kiss you and hold you and the two of you could go on, trying to find a way to make it work together. You really didn’t expect things to go the way that they had.

“Love…” she trailed off, “ain’t it a bitch?”

“That it is,” you replied.

The two of you finished closing up for the night, Matt hanging out to wait for you. Just as you left the bar, locking the door behind you, you handed your key over to Matt.

“Well, I’ll see the two of you later,” you said with a smile. It was stupid, but your heart hurt over this new ending. You knew you’d see your friends still, but nothing was ever going to be the same. You had given this place, these people, and this life a lot of years.

“You’ll come see us, right?” Matt asked. “I mean, on non-performance nights, you can come hang out, have some drinks.”

“Maybe.”

You hugged them goodbye and you each headed off in your directions. You knew you’d never come back to this place. Not as long as you knew this was still Rob’s place. Not only did the band play here all the time, but the guys had made the bar their own regular spot. There had been many nights of drinking and laughter that you had all shared here, but in the end, it wasn’t yours anymore.

When you were here, you were Lola. You were the mysterious firecracker who took no shit from anyone. Who you were in this place was never who you wanted to be. You had only become her out of necessity; a means of survival and to have some sort of control over your out-of-control life. Your moniker wasn’t created for fun; Lola didn’t exist just to tease men and leave them wondering.

You had reached the point where your walls finally crumbled. Everything that you had built up in order to keep yourself safe eventually had to fall down. You just didn’t expect that to happen because of a man that you insisted was only there for fun. Maybe he didn’t know you, not really; and maybe you barely knew him. But, you and Rob had created something that you hadn’t expected. When it came to you staying adamant in the idea that you were incapable of love, you never expected anyone to come along and change you like that.

When you were at this bar, you were Lola. Your boss called you that, your friend Matt called you that, your best friend called you that. You expected customers to call you that because that was all you had ever given anyone who tried to get to know you. Rob had been different. Even when you kept up appearances, he never called you Lola. Not unless he was trying to get to you anyway. He was one of the very few people who knew your real name, and you liked to think he was the only person who knew the real you. You had been good at staying in character, but even you had to admit, there were moments when Rob managed to see a different side of you.

Your old life was over now; and therefore, perhaps Lola was gone as well.

* * *

“You’ve got a five top,” your hostess, Amy, said as she approached you.

You had been at the restaurant for a couple of weeks by now, and you were fitting in nicely. You liked the people you worked with, and while you had been nervous about it, you quickly learned that you were really good at the job. Perhaps all those years of taking complicated drink orders had helped out.

“Thanks,” you replied. You stepped out from the back, following Amy and she pointed over to the table that she had just seated. It took you a split second to get a view of the customers, and you stopped dead in your tracks when you did see them.

“I- I can’t take that table,” you muttered. You felt your heart begin to race, hands sweaty from nervousness now.

“You have to, you’re the only waitress on shift right now.”

You shook your head slowly, still studying the men who were seated and talking among themselves. Out of all the restaurants in L.A., of all the places they could hang out, it had to be here.”

“You don’t understand,” you whispered, pulling Amy aside quickly, hoping that they hadn’t spotted you. “I CAN’T take this table.”

“Well, I can’t waitress,” she hissed, “which is why I’m just a hostess.”

“Oh god…” you mumbled, suddenly feeling ill.

“What’s wrong? You know them?” Amy glanced back, checking the men out. “They’re cute.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“So, is one of them an ex-boyfriend or something?”

“Or something,” you replied.

“Look, Y/N,” Amy began calmly. She placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to help you relax. “Whatever it is, don’t let him get to you. You could just act like you don’t even recognize him.”

“I can’t do this.”

“Well, someone has to,” she laughed, “and it ain’t gonna be me.”

With that, she walked away, leaving you to fend for yourself. You considered running. Walking right out the back door just to avoid seeing him again. Then again, this was a pretty great job, and you weren’t about to let down your new boss. You thought about Amy’s suggestion, pretending that you didn’t know him. You knew that wouldn’t work. Even when you were fooling around with him, he never failed to elicit the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. The man always made you nervous and excited. You knew that even after all this time, he still would. You missed him terribly and you constantly berated yourself over how you had messed everything up with him. To top it all off, he looked so good right now as he sat at that table, talking and laughing with the rest of the band and Jason.

A smaller part of you wanted to approach him. You hadn’t seen or heard from him in so long and you almost desperately wanted to look into those blue eyes again, to see that amazing smile again.

You swallowed your pride and mustered the last bit of courage that you had. You had to do this, no one else would. Also, you really wanted to hear him speak to you again, even if he was the one to act as if he didn’t know you.

You approached the table, your notepad and pen in hand. You stood there for a second, nerves going haywire as you waited for them to acknowledge you.

“Hey guys,” you mumbled, “can I start you off with something to drink.”

Almost as if it were planned, the five of them glanced up to you in unison. It was really nice to see their faces again and you couldn’t help but smile at them. After a brief moment and a few looks of shock, Jason was the first to break the tension by ordering a drink. Mike, Stephen, and Billy followed; each of them staring at you as if they were trying to decide if it were actually you. You jotted down their drink orders and finally focused on Rob.

He was still as good-looking as ever. You felt your breath catch as he made eye contact, those beautiful blues staring right at you.

“Hey,” he began, “bartender?”

You let out a nervous laugh. “Well, not bartender anymore.” You motioned to yourself, pointing out the new uniform that was required in a place like this.

“I mean…” he paused for a second, examining you before his eyes stopped right at your chest. You felt yourself blush, wondering if he was really checking out your boobs right now. Granted, the outfit sort of enhanced everything, but you didn’t really expect it from him. He reached a hand up to you, tapping his finger on your name badge with a soft smile. “Y/N.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me,” you smiled.

“I swear you look so familiar,” he replied.

“I can’t imagine why.”

“You sure you’re name isn’t Lola?” You certainly expected this. The way he was now grinning at you, not in a playful way, but in an unamused way.

“Oh, Lola…” you trailed off, breaking eye contact, “you know, she was kind of a mess. She did a lot of really stupid shit. I kinda had leave her behind.”

Rob nodded, smiling a little more now. He said nothing else other than placing his drink order with you.

You remained nervous through the entire thing. You brought drinks to them, took food orders, and brought them their food; all while slowly building up a panic inside. You were sure you would lose it completely, mostly because of the way they went right into ignoring you during their meal. Fortunately, you had a sudden small rush at this point and your focus was pulled from them to a few other tables of customers.

You lost yourself in your thoughts, mostly running on auto-pilot while you worked. You thought about all the things you could say to him, in hopes that they might be the right things and he could forgive you. You thought also thought about what you had put him through, and wondered if you could even really change just like that. While you were lost, you glanced over to their table only to see that they had left while you in the kitchen retrieving an order for one of your tables. You felt a knot in your chest when you realized that they were gone, that Rob was gone. You didn’t even get the chance to apologize or try to explain yourself to him.

You finished out your shift, feeling an immense sadness that you hadn’t felt in a long time. It had taken weeks for you to be sort of okay after the night of their record release party. That night, you had opened yourself up completely, confessing your feelings to Rob, only to have him completely deny you and break your heart. Seeing him again randomly like this had reopened those wounds. The worst part of it was that you still couldn’t fix anything.

* * *

You said goodnight to Amy and the other waitress who had come in for her shift. Grabbing your purse and coat, you walked out the main doors, ready to head home and get some sleep. You stepped out onto the sidewalk, staring down as you turned in the direction of the parking lot. You had made it a few steps before you heard a voice call out to you.

“Hey, bartender!”

You spun around quickly, recognizing that name, and mostly recognizing that voice. There on the bench right outside the restaurant sat Rob. You didn’t even notice him when you walked out, but he noticed you.

“Rob?”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled, “not bartender. You’re Y/N now.”

He stood up from the bench and walked toward you, stopping just a few feet in front of you.

“Yeah. There’s no bartender, no Lola… it’s just me.”

He smiled at you, probably taking note over how uncomfortable you had grown again.

“Y/N,” he said your name again, “I like it. It’s a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He asked, motioning toward the building.

“Oh, well, my old job… that got a bit awkward, especially when this guy I was sleeping with went and complained about me to my boss.”

Rob gave you a pained look, “yeah, about that… I’m sorry. I was a little pissed off, and I didn’t want to see you again. I didn’t think she’d fire you though.”

“She didn’t. I left.”

“I thought you loved your job.”

“I did,” you replied, “but, it wasn’t the right place for me anymore.”

“Because of me?”

“No,” you said softly. It hadn’t been because of him at all. In the end, it had always been about you and how messed up you were. “I just- wasn’t myself when I was working there. I got tired of being someone else.”

“Lola?”

“Yeah,” you laughed, “Lola was a piece of work. She was a great girl for a long time, kept me safe. But, I sort of got lost, you know?”

“I get it.”

There was an awkward silence. You, trying to avoid looking at him too much; him, staring right into you in a way that put you on edge.

“If you didn’t want to see me again, why are you here?”

“Well, we just kind of stumbled into the place. I didn’t know you worked here.”

“I meant, why are you sitting outside of my work hours after you left?”

“I promise I’m not stalking you.”

“I really hope not. The way we ended, I didn’t even expect you to stay when you noticed I was working.”

“I know. That was a huge mess, wasn’t it?”

“I’m pretty good at creating messes.”

“We both are,” he said with a grin.

“What do you want?” You asked. You were still extremely curious to know why he was sitting out here, willing to approach you after everything.

“I wanted to apologize.”

“You have nothing to apologize for Rob. I should apologize for the way I treated you. I was horrible, and that wasn’t me. Not the real me anyway. I just, tried so hard to not let myself fall for you, because I was so tired of being hurt. I didn’t know what to do with all of that.”

“I know. I’m sorry for how I reacted. But, for so long you insisted that you didn’t want me. And when you said that… when you said what you said, I didn’t believe you.”

“I understand why you didn’t.”

He paused again, staring into your eyes. You could see the hurt still there. All the pain you had put him through hadn’t gone away.

“I waited here because I saw you in there, and I just… I felt those same feelings that I always felt with you all over again. How? How can I still feel this way for you after everything?”

“I guess, the same way I still feel these feelings for you.”

“The guys tried to talk me out of it, hanging out here to wait for you,” he laughed, “but I think it’s my only chance to know for sure.”

“To know what?”

“You know, I thought about calling you. So many times. And I stopped myself because I was so done being strung along. It hurt too much.”

“I know.”

“But, seeing you again like this, I don’t know, maybe it happened because now I can finally just ask you if you meant what you said.”

You felt yourself begin to cry; that night replaying in your mind again. The way you had finally let yourself feel something for him, the way he had shot you down. The last thing you wanted was to say those words again, just to have them denied. You figured he was still angry at you, and you couldn’t blame him. But, you also didn’t want to hurt any more than you already were. You looked back to him, tears falling down your face. You didn’t want to let yourself be vulnerable again, but you realized just then that you were willing to be vulnerable for him; even if he was only doing this to be cruel. You were certain that he wanted you to say the words again so that he could tell you that you had fucked up any chance you had with him.

You nodded at him, trying to form the words. “I meant it. I love you. I always did I think. I just- didn’t know how to love you.”

You sucked in a breath, bracing yourself for the harsh blow. You knew he was going to destroy you again, but you had it coming. Anything that he wanted to say to you; whether he wanted to remind you of what a terrible person you were, whether he wanted to scream at you or cause a scene right here in front of your work; you were ready for it. Because you knew you deserved it.

You saw his lips turn up at the corner of his mouth, giving you just a slight smirk as he watched you cry.

“Who’s the one saying this?” He asked.

“It’s just me.”

“My bartender?” He said fondly. He took a step closer to you, reaching a hand up to your face to wipe away some of your tears.

You shook your head at him, “I’m not a bartender anymore.”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“It’s just me now.”

“Y/N…” he said your name slowly, letting it slip past his lips quietly. “I like the sound of that.”

You felt his fingertips brush along your jawline, the sensation sending shivers through your body. You were still waiting for it. You had done your fair share of leading him on and letting him believe that things would become more, only to let him down constantly. Why wouldn’t he be doing the same to you right now?

“What are you doing?” You asked finally.

“I’m just trying to decide if it would be insane for me to tell you that I love you again.”

“It might be. We’re both pretty crazy,” you joked.

Rob chuckled, “The two of us, together? It always was a mess. It could still be a bad thing.”

“I think you mean; you and Lola together. The two of you were bad news.”

“I really didn’t like her very much,” he said, “but you… I still love you. I never stopped thinking of you. I don’t think I can give you up, and I don’t know that I want to.”

You felt yourself cry harder now; his hand still holding your face. He led you closer to him, letting his lips brush against yours softly as if to test whether or not it was okay. That was when you wrapped your arms around him, grasping onto him in a desperate attempt to have him closer to you. You pulled him to you and he let his lips press against yours.

You kissed for a long time, as if it had been your first kiss ever; and you figured, in a way, it was your first real kiss. You were letting yourself be you, and even if you had maybe let your real self slip out in the past, it was never quite like this.

You didn’t want to let go, not even when you knew the two of you would have to come back for air at some point. You held onto him, almost as if you were afraid to let go again. You had been so stupid and had given up the one person you really did care about, just because you were afraid to be in love. But, here he was again. He was with you and he had said that he still loved you, even after everything.

When he was finally able to end the kiss, smiling as you held on to him for dear life; he looked down at you.

“Would we be insane for trying this again?”

“Probably.”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t really be us if we weren’t a little crazy.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

“What do we do now?” He asked. He seemed to be just as confused and lost as you in this moment. You had both admitted that you still loved each other, and you had also admitted that you had made a huge mess of things between you. You knew you still wanted to be with him, to try to love him, but you still didn’t know how to do that. Maybe it was something that you would have to figure out together.

“I guess, we can just try to see where this can go. For real this time.”

“My place or yours?” He asked with a smirk.

You thought about it, now wondering if it was a good idea. You had only just got him back and the whole sleeping together thing had been what put you in this entire mess to begin with. Could you go there again without freaking out? Could you fall back into this with him and learn to let yourself go?

“I think you’re going to have to date me for a little while before I let you sleep with me,” you responded.

Rob gave you an amused smile. “I was not expecting that.”

“Is that okay?”

“Yeah, that’s okay,” he said softly as he pulled you in, holding you close to him. You felt him kiss the top of your head and you closed your eyes as you let yourself get lost in him again. “For you, I’m willing to wait.”


End file.
